Chris Knight

From Stmargarets

Biography

Chris Knight (aka Baby, The King of Russia, Pumpkin, Peanut, et al) was born in Ohio. The town or the time of birth is not clear to the author at this time. There is a humorous story involving the birth of Chris, possibly involving poison ivy of some sort, though the details of this are also rather uncertain to the author, and thus the anecdote will now be abandoned.

Chris' childhood was spent roaming the United States in such widely-mocked states as Ohio, Kentucky, and Florida. At the tender age of 8 Chris moved to London England, where he attented Hall Grove Day School for Albino Youth. Chris fit in well there, due to the increasingly pale color of his skin. The situation became so dire that at one point one of Chris' teachers was heard to remark, "Good lord the aliens have landed!" The comment scarred Chris deeply (metaphorically), and he immediately formulated a plan to become much more tan. (n.b. this plan has yet to come to fruition).

At Hall Grove Chris Knight made a number of friends including Keisuke Kumai (sp?), a young Japanese boy who spoke but three words of english ("more tea please"). The two have kept in touch ever since, through Christmas cards.

After England Chris returned to America, where his family took up residence on Greenbriar Rd. in the exclusive neighborhood of University Park, Texas. There, he attended first Hyer elementary school and later McCulloch Middle School. At Hyer, Chris developed a friendly rivalry with schoolmate, Preston Kerr, that would later turn more serious.

Chris arrived at SMES, a starry-eyed 6th-grader when Kip Knight, his fater, was relocated to work at Taco Bell headquarters in Irvine.

History at SMES

In Middle School, Chris developed friendships with [[Umar], Joey Kelly, Kevin Fathi, and Cole Buffa. The details on Chris' fabled Magic: The Gathering career are somewhat shady and should be clarified.

In high school Chris hit the big time, becoming one of the more popular and influential students by his senior year. In a, literally, crowning moment, Cody Tucker ceded his title of Prom King to Chris at the senior prom. It is said that the tears flowed freely that night, and the author has no reason to doubt that.

Clubs involved in

Tom founded the Simpsons Ultimate Fan Club with hopes that people would join together in celebration of excellent cartoons. It quickly developed a die hard following, which met every wednesday in Larry Rice's room. While it was plagued by pizza stealers such as Brian Booth, they still managed to almost break even a couple of times. Mr. Rice took quite a hit on the cost of pizza, as usually some jerk would steal some pieces. However, sources close to the mattter report he might have given generous tips to the pizza guy, causing the profits to plummet a couple dollars every day.

Tom was also heavily involved in Model United Nations with Rocky Parker. He won several awards and nonsuch, but it was MUN, so no one really cared

[edit] Contributions to SMES

The Hammer dance- Tom's popularity at SMES is attributed in large part to a dance he created during his sophomore year. It was to the tune of MC Hammer, and lasted about 20 seconds. Tom stopped doing the dance on request, as it was becomming tiring to be able to keep up his nonstop dance routine while pursueing straight As.

Tom became an annoyance to the trendy and popular kids at SMES, mainly because he knew how to outdance them at the many poorly organized school dances. He grew to develop his own posse of friends who started their own poker gang. [edit] Girls dated

In his most amazing feat to date, Tom briefly dated Erin Sale in his sophomore year at SMES. No one is quite sure how this is possible, as Erin was very popular at the time. The cause of their breakup is yet to be publically known

Tom also ensued a brief relationship with Paully, which occured primarilly because of Tom asking her to prom. At the time, Paully had no date and had recently broken up with her boyfriend. In some odd combination of luck and awkwardness, Tom eventually half heartedly asked her out. She obliged, and they spent their prom together on a boat, which the prom was being held on that year.

It seemed for some time that Tom might date Amy Magill, but that never happened, partially because Amy wore sketchers to prom with a fancy dress, the greatest foi pai known to man