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Room 101 was the room in George Orwell's 1984 which contained "the worst thing in the world" | Room 101 was the room in George Orwell's 1984 which contained "the worst thing in the world" | ||
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Revision as of 12:02, 19 April 2006
Contents |
Show Archive
April 13th show - room 101
Room 101 was the room in George Orwell's 1984 which contained "the worst thing in the world" Hi, I'm Patrick. I'll add some personal details later(maybe), but I want to confine something to room 101 now if I may. I'd like to confine people who install their own car alarms. These people, although I'm sure they don't intend to, always seem to make a bad job of it. The result of this being car alarms that go off at the slightest gust of wind or the odd drop of rain or for no apparent reason whatsoever, causing an obvious disturbance to anyone within earshot. These individuals always seem to leave their cars parked on their drives during the day, whilst they go to work or in the evening when they go to the pub etc. The upshot of this being 45 minutes of car alarm because someone breathed within five yards fo the vehicle or a butterfly in Guatemala flapped its wings. I often think such vehicles could be used as makeshift seismographs as they seem able to detect the slightest tremor in the earths crust. These individuals can often be heard playing with their alarms on a Sunday afternoon, presumably resetting them at the request of their neighbours although they never seem to manage to reset them quite properly. For these reasons I would like to confine these individuals to room 101, although I'm sure they mean well!
People who ride their bikes with their hands off The only thing they are good for is organ donation when they've crashed into something head first.
People who are not happy unless they're moaning. - I currently work with someone like this and somedays I want to smash her F**king head against a brick wall to shut her up. Thankfully she is leaving the company at the end of April.
The annoying habit of many television drama programs (mainly but not exclusivly ones from the USA) of starting every episode with "Previously on ...." and then a few minutes of recapitulation of stuff from previous weeks.Now I don't know about anyone else but I've got this thing called a memory which lets me remain aware of things that have happened in the past.
Text message abbreviations are all well and good for texting,I appreciate you dont have many spaces to get said what you need to say,so any abbreviating is a bonus.What I object to is people using text shorthand when writing,or in emails,on message boards etc. when there is no legitimate reason for it. Stop being so sodding lazy people - do you have any idea how thick it make you look? I fear the total bastardisation of the English language - if it carries on like this,we'll end up with an entire generation who think "enough" is spelled "ENUF",laziness breading stupidity.
Breeding not breading. Incorrect spelling does not help your case! (Had to be said)!
Other listener nominations
Jeremy Beadle - Nominated by Dinsdale Piranha
Phlegm - Nominated by gyllzd
Microscooters - Nominated by stercusstercusstercusmoritussum
Celery - Nominated by the other omylouse
People who have absolutely no idea of how to walk on a pavement on a busy London Street - Nominated by Ashley
People who insist on driving at 55 miles an hour on the motorway - Nominated by Livzy .
Breakfast DJs- Nominated by Sue
Pokemon - Nominated by Dastardly
"Foil wrapped for freshness" chocolate bars - Nominated by Dastardly
Mafs 101 Categories
Fashion:-
Company:-
Institution:-
TV Show:-
Film:-
Actor:-
Actress:-
Song:-
Band/Artist:-
Drink:-
Food:-
Group of people:-
Technology:-
Transport:-
Book:-
Country:-
In The News (or 'Stolen From Digg')
The Lego chocolate printer!! - http://www.instructables.com/ex/i/961360D260131028A786001143E7E506/
MusicIP - http://www.musicip.com/listener/products
By Golly!!! It's female stormtroopers - http://www.flickr.com/photos/spinfist/125253217/
The Power of Bartering...Man trades paperclip for year in phoenix, kinda - http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com/2006/04/one-year-in-phoenix.html
More ways to tie your shoes - http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/knots.htm
The Great Debate
Listener Feedback
This Is True
A police dispatcher in Enid, Okla., got a call from a cell phone. It was apparently an accidental call: the dispatcher could hear two men talking in the background. For more than three hours, the men talked -- about building and using a firebomb. Meanwhile, another dispatcher got an emergency call -- reporting a car
that had been hit by a firebomb. A police officer found what he thought was the car being driven by the two men and honked his horn, and sure enough the dispatcher heard the horn. The cop pulled the car over and found the cell phone on the dashboard. Robert Allen Patterson, 24, and Johnny Ray Miller, 48, were charged with arson and conspiracy. "They didn't have a clue they had dialed the phone," Detective Mark Pettus said.
April 6th show - SHOW 100
Shelly and Pirate Dave in the studio!
In The News
Sat-nav drivers close to the edge - Drivers following the instructions of their satellite navigation systems to a village called Crackpot are being directed to the top of a 100ft cliff, it was reported. The glitch means motorists are being sent along an unclassified track on the edge of a sheer cliff edge. Cars, minibuses and even large trucks have taken the steep, twisty road used by holidaymakers, walkers and sightseers travelling from Swaledale to Wensleydale in North Yorkshire. But it is not used by commuters and is described by locals as "just about passable with a 4X4". The lane starts off as a Tarmac road but turns into a gravel track, which runs past Steven Porter's farm. He said: "It's only a matter of time before someone goes over the edge - and it's a 100ft drop.
Tom Cruise, Scientology and silent, drugfree births
Shopkeeper fined for calling criminals scum!?
Ecologists says that airborne ebola should be used to wipe out 90% of humans on the planet and receives a standing ovation from Texas Academy of Science - http://www.sas.org/tcs/weeklyIssues_2006/2006-04-07/feature1p/index.html
After CBS4 News exposed police intimidation of citizens attempting to make complaints against police officers, Broward PBA retaliates by putting the CBS4 journalist's name on a list of criminals to be on the lookout for along with personal information on their website. Cross the cops, get your personal information released on the web - http://cbs4.com/local/local_story_086232143.html
Record labels make about 70 cents per download, and that's more profit than they make selling CDs, according to Apple CEO Steve Jobs. - http://www.technewsworld.com/story/49727.html
The Great Debate
Listener Feedback
This Is True
A bank robber in Santa Barbara, Calif., escaped with $3,000 in cash, but the teller dropped in an exploding dye pack, too. He was last seen running across the parking lot with "a whisper of red smoke trailing in his wake," a police spokesman said. The robber went straight to a coin-op laundry and tried to wash the dye off, but it was permanent. He then tried adding green food coloring to the bills, but the result was so bad that he threw the money in the trash. Very soon afterward, police stopped at his home. Fred Bendtzen, 48, was arrested and charged with bank robbery. How did the police identify him so fast? His demand note, which he left behind at the bank, was written on the back of a pay stub bearing his name and address.
The new ad campaign by Tourism Australia featuring the tagline "So where the bloody hell are you?" isn't playing well in some places (This is True, 12 March 2006). Minister for Tourism Fran Bailey, who called the slogan "plain speaking and friendly," says the ad was briefly banned in the U.K. because of the word "bloody". Now, it's banned in Canada for an entirely different reason: the line "I've bought you a beer." Bailey says the "Canadian regulator says that this implies consumption of unbranded alcohol," which is "some sort of quirky Canadian regulation." She says the line will be changed for Canuck audiences, and she'll invite the Canadian regulator to "come out here and I'll buy him a beer."
Sydney - FOX FM morning show. The game, "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask them 3 random highly personal questions. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.
Several months ago, however, Sydney was brought to it's knees with laughter and here's how it all went down:
DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name?"
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name?"
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly)"Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work number and call her up.
DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sara, shall we?" (touchtones.....ringing....)
DJ: "Sara, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with
Brian for a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any\\answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"
Sara: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Sara: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sara. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.
Sara: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sara?"
Sara: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sara: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sara: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?"
Sara: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sara: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: Come on Sara..... where did you have it?
A short pause
Sara: "Up the arse....."
A long pause
DJ: "Folks, we need to take a station break"
March 30th show
In The News
Propaganda remixes - http://www.worth1000.com/cache/contest/contestcache.asp?contest_id=9654&display=photoshop#entries
Probe into 'wrong runway' error - The government's air accident investigation branch is expected to ask for details of why a plane landed at a Northern Ireland military airfield as opposed to its intended airort 5 miles away.
The black box revealed this conversatoion (in an irish accent)-
Co-Pilot - "are you sure we're landing at the right airport captain?" Captain - "not really, but whats the worst that can happen?" Co-Pilot - "Jesus, Captain the runway's not very long" Captain - "I know, but look how fuckin wide it is......"
Listener Feedback
Frappr - New Members: Mark Sloane, Roach, Elmp, TheWitchDoctress (Canada)
Uncle MAF
Attached is a screen print of the web page 365. One hour trying to get on "what do you think I is doing wrong" (gangster speak) I will have to listen yet again on the old trusty pod cast, I might get to hear the show live yet. Pirate Dave AAARRRRAAGGGHHH! Idiots guide to listening - fluffy?
This Is True
Kimberly Du, 36, of Des Moines, Iowa, had racked up several traffic tickets. To get out of the fines, police now allege, Du faked her death, sending a falsified death certificate to the judge, who canceled an arrest warrant. But like most bad drivers, she kept getting tickets. A month after her supposed death, police stopped her for speeding and driving with a suspended license, and court investigators noticed the ruse. Du now faces two years in prison for forgery.
==March 23rd show==
Stephen Hawking sings 'King of Spain'
Pink Panther review - remind Lee to play theme tune
In The News
The New Numbering system - http://www.infoverse.org/octomatics/octomatics.htm
Atheists identified as America’s most distrusted minority - Thank god
http://www.ur.umn.edu/FMPro?-db=releases&-lay=web&-format=umnnewsreleases/releasesdetail.html&ID=2816&-Find
Coca-Cola Blak - http://www.hotguygadgets.com/
Select 10 notes and listen to PI to 10,000 places - http://www.avoision.com/experiments/pi10k/pi10k.html
China blocks VoIP for two years - http://australianit.news.com.au/articles/0,7204,18561430^15322^^nbv^,00.html
Downloading doesn't hurt business: Canadian Record Industry Association - http://www.cbc.ca/consumers/market/murmurs/archives/2006/20060320_downloading.html
Apple: French Law Is 'Piracy' - http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,70466-0.html?tw=rss.index
HOWTO become an early riser - http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/05/how-to-become-an-early-riser/
The Great Debate
Listener Feedback
Uncle Maf, As you can probably tell from this e-mail my dissertation is going down the pan faster the a 'shitty tandoori chicken, after 10 pints of speckled hen' anyway I' wondering if I should have done a dissertation on the following. "Who is the hardest TV cop?" For a kick off, Who would you rate as the hardest cop!!!! Jack Regan Sweeney or DCI Gene Hunt LOM? attached is some sound bits from the unofficial Sweeney web site http://www.missingimages.com/thesweeney I think that it would make a good debate covering topics such as:
- Who could drink the most whiskey!!!
- Who would make the best pirate sound
"aaarrrrraaagghhh you slag!!!!" "Tits in a jumper meee hearteeessssss"
- Who would win an arm wrestle, etc
The list could be endless and may be worth pursuing?
Your ever trusted podcast listener (p.s just finished listening to the 9th March)
DL
Anonymous Listener Request
Please could Maf & Lee sing "U2 - I Still Havent Found What I'm Looking For" in Snug II
This Is True
Forget throwing "a shrimp on the barbie" -- Australia is getting serious about attracting foreign visitors with its new slogan.
After showing lovely scenery and things to do Down Under, the announcer in the Tourism Australia ads demands to know, "So where the bloody hell are you?" Minister for Tourism Fran Bailey loves the tagline, calling it "plain speaking and friendly." Prime Minister John Howard says no one should be offended by the mild swearing -- but won't say the line himself. When asked to by a radio interviewer, Howard replied that he is "not somebody who uses that expression, certainly not on radio." (Sydney Morning Herald, Australian AP) ...Well bugger him, then.
March 16th
During the last week The Snug has seen unprecedented snow for this area (and time of year) so it took over the first few minutes of the show with Maf telling us about his train trip (and rogue snowballers).
We swiftly (and smoothly) moved into a quick review of the new version of The Hills have eyes - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0454841/.
Digg (www.digg.com) has a lot to answer for again this show as we fill our 'in the news' segment from it, so...:
In The News:
Lego Instructions - http://www.hccamsterdam.nl/brickfactory/index.htm
First Broadband TV station - http://television.aol.com/in2tv
The Drug Trial gone wrong - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4808836.stm
Man dates girl on net for 6 months then arranges a meet up - http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20051209/113414040002.html
The Great Debate - The bacon sandwich
Last week David Lewis emailed UIncle Maf about the best way to produce bacon sandwiches. He has since provided some other options that we didn't mention such as: - pre-sliced or self-sliced, type of bread, brands of sauce, additions? etc! This could spiral out of control if we're not careful.
Check out www.snugfans.blogspot.com for some more additions from our vegetarian fan base. Have we missed something? Do we need a spreadsheet poll-ie type thing?
Listener Feedback - Random mails to the Snug mailbox
snugradio@yahoo.co.uk
From: Scaredy pants... E-Mail: *****
Comments: Dear Maf and Lee I've been to the site several t times since you've added the "soopa doopa" sound... It has made me jump several times! LOL It's kinda like the web pages that have the smiley ads that say "HELLO!!!!". Late at night both have made me jump out of my skin! lol Especially when I have my headphones on...
From: North American Blog "Babe" E-Mail: *****
Comments: Hey the snugfans blog has been updated...While in some ways it seems like a shopping list of what went on in the show, I did try to add my listener perspective. I was up late listening to the pod cast (after listening to the 2 hr show and snug 2, which rocked BTW) http://snugfans.blogspot.com/ Anyay have a peek...
This Is True
SMOKING IS DANGEROUS TO YOUR HEALTH: Mike Hartnett, 36, of Omaha, Neb., had found a firework shell in his son's closet. He pulled it out to get rid of it when a hot ash fell from his cigarette and ignited the fuse. He told his son to run, but didn't drop the device. It exploded, blowing out the window and shredding his hands. <snip>.
March 9th show
New Laptop - Rich (Bubba71uk) - www.richardharveyphoto.com - only 2 feedback, gave him a chance...excellent laptop
DNA Computer http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/02/0224_030224_DNAcomputer.html
2G/s Broadband in Shoreditch - Fastest in the world
http://www.shns.com/shns/g_index2.cfm?action=detail&pk=RAISEALARM-02-28-06
http://blog.modernmechanix.com/2006/03/07/the-gas-that-makes-you-laugh/
http://www.cuisinetechnology.com/antigriddle.html
This is True
A police dispatcher in West Fargo, N.D., thought it was a joke when someone called at 3:15 a.m. and asked where to buy marijuana. The dispatcher told the woman that marijuana is illegal, but the woman insisted. Fine, the dispatcher said: they had some in the evidence locker and if she stopped by, he could "hook her up." Sure enough, "the dispatcher got on the intercom and said, 'You know what? She's here. She just handed me $3 for marijuana'," said an amazed officer, Ken Zeeb. He stepped to the station lobby and arrested Grace Sium, 20, a junior at North Dakota State University. Zeeb says Sium didn't appear high or drunk, and didn't seem surprised to be arrested. "This is
something that you couldn't even make up," he said. (Fargo Forum) ...Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.
March 2nd show
Sales calls from St Helens Glass!! - Maf
Islamic law enforced in britain!!
the big snowball
Mafspace
Tamara Sings!!!
This is True
19 February 2006 Copyright http://www.thisistrue.com
MORON OF THE WEEK #610: A customer in line at a Dairy Queen in St. Louis, Mo., dropped her purse. It exploded, sending black sequins into the air; customers could smell gunpowder. No one said a word until she cried out "I ain't got no gun!", grabbed her shredded purse, and ran. The store manager wrote down her license number and called police. Investigators say that indeed it was a gun: a low-quality one that discharged when it hit the floor. The license led to an unidentified woman who, police say, was an off-duty police officer. The cop first denied that she was in the restaurant, then claimed she ran because she was "under fire," and then finally admitted that the gun discharged in her purse, but she had thrown it out her car window along the freeway because she might be "in trouble." She resigned from the police department. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch) ...Total recommended prison time:
30 days for careless handling of a firearm, 90 days for fleeing the scene of an accident, 1 year for bringing disrepute to the police department, 5 years for making false statements in a police investigation, 10 years for ditching the gun unsafely, and 15 years for using bad grammar in public.
IT PAYS TO ADVERTISE: Tyrone Burgo, 20, was arrested in Boston, Mass., for allegedly selling drugs. Police say it wasn't that he was driving a car with a license plate from another car that led to his arrest, nor that he was driving with a suspended license. Rather, they were led to Burgo because he had advertised his cocaine on the Internet, listing his real phone number. Officers called, set up a meeting, and arrested him after he handed over the drugs. (Boston Globe, AP) ...Too bad he didn't try to figure out what "BPD Det Bureau" was on his Caller-ID before he agreed to the deal.
February 23rd show
The 'Tesco' Mail - maf
Running over cycling children
Emails at work (affairs & sex)
Update on our Nigerian 'friend' - computer weekly - maf
New Music - Snug mailbox - Wayne Numan & Whitey
Jeff Daniels
Lom wavs
http://www.madtownaces.com/PodcastProduction%20Packages.htm
Listener Feedback
Tamara - Salt Sprint Island
http://www.radionetherlands.nl/features/science/wasps011127.html
http://archives.cnn.com/2001/WORLD/europe/11/17/sniffer.wasps/
A bit about training wasps. I still think it's wrong but at the same
time fascinating.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/02/13.html
Cheney's got a gun. The guy "reporting" is an amazing political comedian. He's Jon Stewart and his show is called the Daily Show. Very funny and politically eye
opening at times. (it American btw)
Anyway, the pod cast is just ending. I put a comment on pod cast alley.
I'm still thinking about recording Mercedes Benz and sending it in.
You'll be sorry!!!!
This Is True
THIS is TRUE: 22 January 2006 http://www.thisistrue.com
CRAZY LIKE A FOX: Christine Ryder, 53, says she was so depressed, she
asked a friend, Kevin Reeves, 40, whom she had met in a mental hospital
in Kent, England, to find a hit man to kill her. He offered to do it
himself (he was her friend, after all!) and accepted 20,000 pounds
US$35,000) for the job. After several arranged dates to kill her
came and went and she was still alive, a frustrated Ryder filed a criminal
breach of contract complaint, and prosecutors took him to trial. Even
Reeves's own defense attorney admitted the scheme was "mean." Reeves
was sentenced to 15 months in jail and ordered to pay 2,000 pounds in
compensation. (London Times) ...No matter what, a deal's a deal.
THIS is TRUE: 12 February 2006
http://www.thisistrue.com
SURE, THIS MAKES SENSE: A student at McHenry (Ill.) Community High School has been disciplined after "doodling" in his own notebook. His drawing features the initials "D.L.K." which, school officials told his mother, "could" mean "Disciples Latin King" -- the Latin Kings and the Latin Disciples are two rival gangs. His mother says he's not a member of any gang. But under the school's zero tolerance rules about gang activity, the boy was suspended, and the school board voted unanimously to expel Derek Leon Kelly from any state-funded school for the rest of the school year, rejecting his explanation that the initials he drew are simply his own. (Chicago Tribune)
