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| - | Comic:<br>
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| - | http://www.worldproutassembly.org/images/dead_baby_hanging.jpg<br>
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| - | {{notice|[[lie|In no way]] is An Hero to be confused with simply using "an" incorrectly as a [[typo]]. If done so, [[you fail it|you will be given an F]] by the [[Grammar Nazi]].}}
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| - | {{finalsolutions}}
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| - | There comes a time in every man's life when situations spiral out of control and he finds his back against a wall. Maybe somebody [[Mitchell Henderson|stole his iPod]]. Maybe he just [[Chris Benoit|killed his wife and kids]]. Maybe he looked in the mirror and saw a [[fucktard]]. Whatever the reason, you can either get up and face the [[butthurt|music]], or you can tell the world and whatever deity you believe in to fuck off. In the latter case, pull out your list of [[final solution]]s and place a check in the [[suicide]] box. [[TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL|Tonight, you dine in hell]].... But, are you '''"''An Hero''"'''?
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| - | Simply [[suicide|pwning oneself]] [[IRL]] is no cause to become '''"''An Hero''"'''. Without exceptions,'''"''An Heroes''"''' are made, not born. When [[everyone|otherwise normal and rational people]] fondly eulogize and honor those that have killed themselves before them, that's when '''"''An Hero''"''' is made. Like it or not, somebody out there probably gives a shit about [[Nirvana|Curt Kobain]]. Could anyone say the same about you? That's why you'll never amount to anything. You'll never be '''"''An Hero''"'''. (But don't let us stop you from trying. Having said that, becoming an hero is [[shit]] because you won't get to see the results of your endeavours. However, if you do a [[school shooting]] and don't kill yourself, you just might. With a lot of luck. Don't expect not to get raped and murdered in prison, or executed in the electric chair.)
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| - | The phrase "An Hero" dates back [[at least 100]] years ago [[last thursday]], to the proto-An Hero, [[Mitchell Henderson]], who famously shot himself after losing his iPod. /b/tards jumped on a [[A and an|grammatical error]] made by one of his [[myspace]] [[hugbox|friends]], and it is now immortalized as the banner under which we mock those courteous enough to remove themselves from the gene pool. Since then, an heroes of all ages have bravely been removing themselves from the gene pool, including [http://kenoshanews.com/article_comments/view_comments.php?articleNum=2169028 3 year olds]
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| - | == "An Hero" ==
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| - | [[Image:Lulzycolumbine1.jpg|thumb|left|An heroes to us all!]]
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| - | While "an Hero" is regarded as a grammatical error by modern [[Jews|linguists]], [[TL;DR|usage of the quantifier "an" before words that started with a morpheme of the pattern CV that began with a 'h' in the onset was common usage before the 17th century]].
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| - | <blockquote>
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| - | But thou complying with thy princely wrath,
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| - | Hast shamed '''an Hero''' whom themselves the Gods
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| - | Delight to honour ... [Cowper's translation of Homer, about 1790]
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| - | </blockquote>
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| - | Clearly, this implies that Mitchell Henderson and his friends are time travelers from the 16th century, and killed himself over a perceived decline in the English language. More of teh gay than 1000 William Safires.
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| - | Even [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]], in prison in the 1920s, knew about the [[lulz]] that would soon engulf the internets, and slipped a reference to Mitch in his famous ''Mein Kampf'':
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| - | {{tinyquote|And no more than a hundred empty heads make one wise man will an heroic decision arise from a hundred cowards|Adolph Hitler}}
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| - | In spite of the obvious similarities, "An Hero" should not be confused with "[[Negro|A Negro]]" and "[[Necrophilia|A Necro]]".
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| - | == "An Heroine" ==
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| - | <br>
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| - | heroine
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| - | http://www.indiana.edu/~nimsmsf/MSF/Roadkill.jpg<br>
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| - | <br> an hero
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| - | http://orissapolice.nic.in/deadbodies/Image408.gif <br>
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| - | [[Image:Annhiro.jpg|thumb|The fuck you call me for??]]
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| - | [[Image:an_hero_emo_Hardcore.gif|thumb|I Is GunnA b An BeaUTifuL PoeTIC hUro B/Cuz U KeeP mAKin' FUn OF my EMow LIfestyle DO You ENJOY MY SHURT IT SHOWZ I AM DEEP LIKE THAT?!!111!]]
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| - | [[Image:Ha ha you're dead.jpg|thumb|]]
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| - | [[Image:Wlkyanhero.jpg|thumb|Even the liberal media wants you to become an hero.]]
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| - | [[Image:Lemmingsbecominganheroes.jpg|thumb|[[Teen]]agers in a small town in south [[Wales]] becoming an heroes [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/bridgend-deaths-police-warn-of-bebo-internet-suicide-cult-774532.html simultaneously].]]
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| - | [[Image:Fallingdown.jpg|thumb|The greatest an hero, ever.]]
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| - | For most men, before they become "An Hero", they [[suicide|kill themselves]] in order to deliver a final "Fuck You" to the world. Male suicide is [[over 9000]] times more prevalent than female suicide, simply because a man has [[At least 100]] times as much [[Balls|testosterone]] as your average woman.
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| - | Women commit suicide for one of only two reasons. In the lesser case, they've [[death|lost]] someone they [[love]] and can't imagine [[dying alone]]. They decide to do Mother Nature and humanity a favor by also removing themselves from the gene pool.
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| - | In most other cases, however, women are motivated to feign suicide whenever they are beset by despair. [[Attention whore|These women]] believe that people around them would support and comfort them, even if the only person from whom they're in danger is themselves. This is colloquially known as a "Cry for Help". Surprisingly, some women who attempt suicide will actually die. ''See also:'' [[Unrealistic Expectations]] and [[Celebrity|Hollywood Martyr]]. The only female an hero worth a mention is probably [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christine_Chubbuck Christine Chubbuck], a 70s news anchor who shot herself during a live newscast, moments after [[did it for the lulz|making a joke]] that she was doing so in accordance with network policy to bring the viewers more [[guro|"blood and guts"]]. She also [[in b4|beat]] Budd Dwyer to it.
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| - | ===Famous Implements Used to Become An Hero===
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| - | *[[Guns]]
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| - | *[[cutting|Razor Blades]]
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| - | *[[Mr. Hands|Sex with a horse]]
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| - | *[[Chris Benoit|Strangulation]]
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| - | *[[Criss Angel|Being a witch]]
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| - | *[[Kool-aid]]
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| - | *[[Drugs]]
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| - | *[[The Great Sonic-cide of 2007|Bricks and Knives]]
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| - | *[[HxC Faggots]]
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| - | * Fapping to [[Furry]] porn
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| - | *[[Robert Hawkins|Shooting up Malls claiming you'll be famous]]
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| - | == NOT "An Hero" ==
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| - | Reasons [[you]] are not an Hero:
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| - | *You have not lost your iPod.
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| - | *You have not totaled [[your mom]]s truck.
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| - | *You have friends that can spell.
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| - | *You did not kill yourself.
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| - | *You are over the age of 13.
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| - | *You are still [[unfunny|alive]].
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| - | *Your eulogy is not posted on Myspace.
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| - | *You are [[Owen Wilson]].
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| - | *That's a fucking evoker you fucking weeaboo faggot.
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| - | *You have friends.
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| - | *You did not murder millions of jews in a bid to rule the world.
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| - | ==Reasons to become An Hero==
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| - | *you couldn't find a [[wii]] at the [[omaha shooting|mall]]
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| - | *The world will not [[ignore]] your pain any longer
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| - | *They canceled your favorite tv show
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| - | *You got a ride on a spaceship behind a comet
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| - | *Kool-aid tastes ALLLRRRIIIGGGHHTT!
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| - | *Summons helpful spirits
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| - | *You're Lanzer
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| - | *Your parents won't let you go see [[My Chemical Romance]] or [[Fall Out Boy]]
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| - | *[[You can't find your SCART connector!]]
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| - | *You lost your job at McDonalds
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| - | *[[Rudolph Zurick|Your prison lover left you]]
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| - | * You are in an "internet suicide room"
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| - | http://s260.photobucket.com/albums/ii40/wesley234sw3/?action=view¤t=HPIM06721-1.jpg
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| - | == Hero Anthem ==
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| - | *Where have all the good parents gone?
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| - | *And where is my iPod?
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| - | *Where's the street-wise bullies?
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| - | *To assault me after school?
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| - | *Isn't there a teacher in a fiery tie?
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| - | *Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I'll be
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| - | *(Chorus)
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| - | *I'll be an hero
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| - | *I'm becoming an hero at the end of the week
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| - | *I just killed two cops
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| - | *And I'm gonna be dead
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| - | *And I'm gonna be fresh from the morgue
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| - | *I'll be an hero
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| - | *I'll be discovered by Mom in the morning light
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| - | *I had a bad day
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| - | *And I was called gay
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| - | *And now I'm larger than life
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| - | Now I'm an hero.
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| - | ==Nigerian News Article==
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| - | *[http://www.onlinenigeria.com/articles/ad.asp?blurb=478 TAIWO AKINKUNMI- AN HERO WITHOUT HONOR]
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| - | In [[nigger|Nigeria]], they too are fond of becoming an heroes when they're not spreading [[AIDS]] and trying to [[rape]] [[white]] [[woman|women]]. This [[old media|news article]] confirms this.
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| - | ==An Hero movie attempt==
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| - | *[http://docmuerte17.blogspot.com/2008/01/hero.html An hero movie attempt.]
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| - | ==Gallery==
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| - | <gallery>
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| - | Image:Anhero3.gif
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| - | Image:Jailsuicide.gif
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| - | Image:Moreselfpwnagepls.gif
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| - | </gallery>
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| - | ==Links==
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| - | [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7234115.stm Bridgend], where Heroes go to copy the [[Internets]].<br>
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| - | [[The An Heroes of Bridgend ]]
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| - | {{clear}}
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| - | {{anheroes}}
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| - | {{Dying_Alone}}
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| - | {{Memes}}
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| - | [[Category:People]]
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| - | [[Category:Memes]]
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