Long-eared jerboa

From Rationalwikiwki

The Long-eared jerboa has been proposed by some heretics as a possible substitute for the beloved goat. The argument in favour is apparently its "cuteness".

This "cuteness" does not, in fact exist. It has clearly deformed back legs which give it difficulty in walking, and gigantic ugly ears.

There is in fact a whole family of the little monsters - all of which are small jumping rat-like which have been banished to the deserts of Asia and northern Africa for their repulsiveness. They live in fetid holes in the ground, and, not surprisingly, they only come out at night.

These ghastly-looking little rats will eat anything moves, probably carry contagious diseases and will attack without warning.