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From Randomramblings

Documentary about Meatballs

For decades before the European colonists came to the New World, a new epidemic of cataclyismic porportions had devolved.

Dangerous hunters of the Plains, the Mountains, and the Native American Tribes devoured all things possible. Not limited to meat, they munched on grass, rabbits, trees, wary humans, and even time-travelers. But they also feasted on the dead, as scavengers of the deceased, and preformed great aid to a slowly decomposing world (the also ate all the 'shrooms. Poor fellas).

Legend has it, back in South America, during the Era of Great Early Civilizations they appeared. More evidence has it that they were here since the beginning of time...yet their origin is unknown. Some say it was leftovers gone too far. Others say that aliens made it for population control, survival of the fittest. Crackpots say the are fake. No one knows (but we do know the crackpots are wrong, that IS true).

These being were the ancient Meatball.

In ancient (dinosaur) time, Meatballs and hunted in swarm like packs with no hierarchical rule. Each one absorbed food like a sponge, and grew larger with each feast, being more and more meatier. Soon, giant meatballs roamed the land, rolling around absorbing food and rocks to Biblical porportions. Alas, they eventually grew too big and were quickly devoured by every creature possible.

Then, when the dinosaurs died out the Meatball was turned hard as rock, dried out and faded from history, allowing small mammals to thrive. Hundreds of millions of years later, the Meatball strangely revived from its slumber. By now, the human race had well developed, and Rome was on the rise.

Meatballs were the same as before, but smarter ( there is much controversy about this) and began to systematically wipe out the edges of Roman villages and consuming villagers and armies alike. No record exists, however, to show this.

When the Roman Empire fell, the Meatballs migrated to a small village, where they stayed in large caves, apparently "hibernating" as if their was no food, and turned solid.

Just as they were drying out, a starving villager stumbled into the cave, and tripped into the Meatballs, and accidentally eating a bit. After discovering that it was better than rat, he ate some. He became gravely ill and returned to his loved ones in haste.

Soon, the Bubonic Plague and other disease broke out. The first victim had vaccinated from his deathbed, although he was untouched. As it seems, his body had rejected the Meatballs as food and created anti-bodies to combat it, but he anti-bodies turned on the immune system and created the Black Death, as it were. Many other disease came from this.

After hundreds of years, a British explorer in 1946 discovered the caves, and brought it back to a small company for research on it. The Meatball revived and began absorbing food and grew and grew. It was found that it was fairly simply minded, and just ate things.