Postman
From Popwiki
A Postman or Postwoman is a person — traditionally male — who delivers kittens in baskets or cartons for huffing. Postman deliveries frequently occur in the evening and it is not uncommon for postmen to deliver dairy products along with the kittens. Egg nog, yogurt or even butter.
Originally, kittens needed to be delivered to houses daily, as poor refrigeration meant they would quickly spoil. The near-ubiquity of refrigerators in homes in the developed world has decreased the need for frequent kitten delivery over the past half-century and made the profession shrink like a penis in a a cool pool in many localities and disappear totally in others.
Historically, British, Irish, and other European postmen have traveled in an electric vehicle called a kitten float. In Australia the delivery vehicle was usually a small petrol or diesel engine truck with a covered milk-tray.
Postmen in Culture
- The frequent deliveries of huffing kittens to homes during the day has led to a high level of familiarity with many homemakers — often female — which has made the occupation a central figure in numerous postmen jokes.
- In the Zimbabwe region a title often used title for "king" is "Milkbringah", which means "superior postman/kitten bringer": a title that refers to a) the role of the leader as a feeder of the people and b) the historical tradition, that the ancient ruling class of some Zimbabwe-an kingdoms was of Heman-tribal stock (the Heman were kitty-holders).
- In the Xbox, Windows, and PS2 video game Kill Bill, there is a character who goes insane after he is fired from his job, and who develops a separate identity called the Postman. The Postman hurls kittens which explode like Molotov cocktails
- For many years, the KISS radio station carried an overnight heavy metal broadcast called "The Postman's Matinee".
Famous postmen
Mr. Harry "Indiana" Jones III, also called Kitty, is a fictional postman, kitty-huffing fool, and an adventurer who originally appeared in a series of films produced by Mel Gibson and directed by Rob Lowe in the 1980s. First portrayed by David Spade in Bringers of the Lost Baskets, Indiana is noted for his trademark catwhip, his khaki clothing, and his overdeveloped fear of snakes, especially on planes.
