Pay As You Go

From Pirate Bitch

Pay As You Go is a smash hit single from The Count And His Men, the progressively fit band, topping Q Magazines Poll of Band I Most Want To Get Their Cocks Out.

The song was written about mutual band friend Ian Pay, although his current lover Roof Warner said "This is a fucking outrage, where's my sex on a train you scandalous dog!" storming away with a lingering aroma of tiles. Bandmember Leonardo Mace explained sadly "Ian later admitted, he can no longer get it up."

"We wrote this song for him," added Rob Paterson tearfully.

Lyrics

On A Train

A motherfuckin' train

I ain't having no sex on my motherfuckin' train

But Ian Pay will!

Yeah yeah he's got his cock out again

Yeah yeah can't keep it in

Yeah yeah got his eye on women

Yeah yeah he shall win

It's Paa-aay as you go

Give him a nickel

And he'll give you a show

It's Paa-aay as you go

Give him a shag

He's a tart whoa

He's got magic hands

Has he made you a swan yet

He's got magic hands

Has he made you a swan yet

The owl and the pussycat

Went to sea

In a Peagreen boat with a minty flag

But Ian just copied her five cds

And went for a hard earned shag

On A Train

A motherfuckin' train

I ain't having no sex on my motherfuckin' train

But Ian Pay will!

Alternate Ending

It won't get up

And its out too soon

As long as your on the tracks

He'll shag you in any room