Emar

From Pirate Bitch

Emar, or Emma as most people know her, is the wife to Leonardo Mace and the mother of his twelve children. It is unknown how she gave birth to twelve children when she was supposed to be infertile from birth (due to the doctors cutting off her hermaphoditous penis). She had a confused childhood, believed to once be the mistress of Moby Dick, although she claims 'it wasn't my fault I was gobbled whole!'. However these experiences have lent to her esteemed career in writing, helping her pen her famous poem 'Eternal Darkness of the Belly of the Whale (How'd I get in here?)'.

While being the wife of a rock star has thrust her into the spotlight, she is famous in her own right being an author of famous proportions. Her novels which include Kinky Fangs, A Blaise in My Heart and Roses Are Red, I Drink Blood Too have gained recognition across the authoring world, with some critics claiming 'if you mixed Anne Rice, Professor M. Fumpkin, Aeschylus you would get Miss Emma W, but she's a bit darker'. She is currently planning a series of books, but no one is quite sure of the premise, although it has been quoted 'magical, like Harry Potter with vampires and sex'. She has also been enlisted to pen the story to a future The Count And His Men album.