Stuff That's Wrong With Nick

From Nick Bate Wiki

Current revision as of 08:27, 8 November 2022

A currently incomplete list of things that are wrong with Nick, divided up into five categories. Enjoy.

[edit] Physically

• I have cramps in my foot every once in a while. I think it's like, once a month or so, but that's just an estimate.
• Occasionally I have cramps in other body parts, too, such as my neck and back.
• I have acne on my forehead, as well as a bit on my legs, arms, face, etc.
• A shower door fell on my left foot a long time ago, crushing my big toe, so the toenail there is all gross and yellow and tender.
• I'm very weak. I can't lift much weight at all. I can barely lift my one cat, Grayson.
• Ummm, I'm ugly.
• I have very low stamina, and can't run for very long. A few seconds at most, and then I need a loooooooong break.
• I am unable to hold my breath for more than around 17 seconds (my record). I have very bad lung capacity, presumably from smoking pot, or from secondhand tobacco smoke.
• On certain days, I have uncontrollable coughing fits. This is only on some days. There's no pattern, as far as I know. Apparently is has something to do with postnasal drip, because I keep coughing up mucus. It's really gross.
• I have a scar on my right hand from this one time at an amusement park when I touched the side of this huge slide while I was going down it, and the friction ripped some skin off.
• I wear glasses for being nearsighted. Apparently my vision has gotten even worse since I started wearing them.
• I often have back pains.
• This one time I walked 0.41 miles on this exercise machine thingy, and for at least three days afterward, my one leg was in a great deal of pain, and I was limping. Also I almost passed out.
• My voice sucks. It's all monotone and stuff.
• My fingers and toes are crooked.
• A few minutes after I eat (sometimes even when I don't eat at all), something in my chest or maybe abdomen makes, like, a growling sound. It turns out I'm not the only one who this happens to, and together we've ruled out acid reflux because antacid pills didn't work.
• A vein in one of my eyelids used to throb a lot. There hasn't been any recent episodes, though.

[edit] Mentally

• I am failing all my school subjects, even Bible somehow. It is on purpose for the most part.
• I have been diagnosed with ADD.
• I'm writing a list of stuff that's wrong with me.
• I believe that Kentucky Don't Exist.
• Most of my friends believe I have Asperger's syndrome. I'm pretty sure I do, too. No, you don't. YES I DO.
• I'm afraid of many, many things, mostly stupid stuff that nobody else in teh universe would be afraid of.
• I'm stupid. I have some common sense, but not much. I also lack knowledge of pop culture, everyday terms, and lots of other stuff. I plan to keep it that way.
• I can't stand certain noises, such as vacuums or styrofoam.
• A lot of materials in clothing I can't stand, either. So I only wear loose-fitting, smooth clothes.
• I'm a hypochondriac.
• I talk to myself a lot. But in my defense, it's usually because I'm roleplaying and I don't have anyone to roleplay with, so I do it with myself.
• I have lots of obsessions, most of which only last a brief time, and then I move on to a new obsession.
• I have what my family calls "selective memory", I can sometimes remember stuff like TMBG, Bonus Stage, etcetera, but am unable to remember school-type stuff.
• I am good at following specific directions, but if they're vague or if I'm given options, I'll be completely lost, and stand there looking stupid and clueless until someone helps me.
• All faces look the same to me. I can only tell people apart by their clothes and hair.
• Most voices sound similar, too, but it's not as bad as the faces thing.
• I have terrible daily living skills. Some things I can't do properly include showering, wiping, getting dressed, etc.
• I have very low standards and expectations. For everything.
• I used to be a Nazi until Anna told me Nazis were bad.
• I'm probably tone-deaf. I can tell that two different notes are different, but can't... like... identify what notes they are or anything.
• I have no sense of time. I've referred to events as happening "the other day", and my family corrected me by saying said event was months ago. Sometimes the inverse happens, too!
• I often enjoy punching/slapping myself in the face and banging my head into doors when I walk through them. Not sure why.
• Very frequently I will get violent mental images of me torturing and killing my mom and stepdad, and sometimes innocent people. The weirdest part is that I set up backstories and stuff, too. Nothing even needs to anger me for me to get these mental images, either. They just kinda... happen. Randomly.

[edit] Emotionally

• I am more feminine than masculine.
• I cry a lot. Though if there's people around I don't do it out loud.
• I'm a sissy/wimp/coward, etc. and I have a very low tolerance for pain.
• For some reason, my feelings have been hurt only three times in my entire life.
• I'm generally apathetic aboot things that have nothing to do with me or Anna.
• I like cats more than most humans.
• I succumb to jealousy.
• I get really pissed off easily, to the point where I pick up whatever object is lying around and bash people in the head with it. This usually only happens with Mom.
• I can't make eye contact because it makes me nervous. It feels like I'm staring at people, which is creepy.
• I have the worst social phobia possible. I literally can't be around ANYONE but Anna.
• I embarrass really easily.
• I am extremely paranoid and am constantly in fear of something happening to Anna; so much so that I have to refresh all her profiles on websites every few minutes to check up on her. Not like it would do any good, since if something happened to her she probably wouldn't be able to post, but it's worth a shot anyway.

[edit] Sexually

• I'm a pervert. I have many, many fetishes, including BDSM, anal sex, panties, scatophilia, etc.
• My penis is very small. It's only four and a half inches when fully erect. The average size for my age is six inches, meaning I'm an inch and a half too small.
• It takes me a very long time to orgasm (somewhere around an hour or more). Rarely I can manage to do it in around twenty minutes, but only if I'm not distracted by anything, and I have to be really, really horny.
• I do not like vaginas. They are gross.
• I'm not gay, but I would like to be done up teh butt by a chick with a strap-on.
• At one point, I wanted to be a chick, but then decided not to because I was afraid of periods and childbirth.
• I'm a transvestite.

[edit] Spiritually

• Despite being a Christian, I sin like, all the time. Stealing, lying, cheating, etc.
• Often when I'm praying, I ramble on and on aboot stuff. Plus, I talk to God exactly like I talk to my friends, and saying "and like..." and "and stuff" all the time.
• Also I'm probably not praying correctly anyway.
• I get pissed off easily by people who are overly-religious, like Christians who say Halloween, Pokémon, jackin' off, video games, etcetera are against God. I often flame those kinds of people.
• Most of my friends are atheists, I think. I don't know, I haven't really asked many people what religion they are.

[edit] Abnormal Non-Problematic Stuff / Stuff Wrong With My Family

• I sometimes practice cryokinesis and tai-chi/qi-gong/whatever.
• Some people claim that I'm really smart. It's obvious that I'm not, though.
• I have an evil/abusive Mom and stepdad.
• Nanny has high blood pressure, so I may inherit that someday. I most likely will.
• My mom has only two teeth. I think they might be fake.
• My dad used to be an alchoholic. I'll probably inherit that, too.
• He also has problems with several organs, so yeah I'm screwed.
• My pseudo-fiancé hates me for some reason.
• One of my life goals (to flunk high school) was failed. Yup, I failed at failing.