More Random Facts

From Lynnesheets

• 1. Jacob's favorite artist is Tori Amos. He doesn't buy albums very often, or collect them, he doesn't really even listen to the radio very often (he likes silence), but he has all three of hers.
• 2. He's pretty damn oblivious to the fact that he's really pretty. In fact, he is also completely oblivious to people flirting with him, or hitting on him, to the point that he won't get it unless it involves being felt up. (he would also likely turn bright red, and try to run away after that).
• 3. Jacob learned to read very early: a few days before he turned three. By the same token, he was almost three and a half when he did speak for the first time. His parents were on the verge of taking him to see a specialist, and then he spoke for the first time.
• 4. He won't eat in restaurants or in the cafeteria, or anywhere out in public: he gets too nervous to even choke down a bite. If someone makes him order food, he'll take it home to eat later.
• 6. The first thing he remembers clearly is sitting quietly in the shoe department at some department store, waiting for his family to come back and get him. This was not the first of many such incidents: nor was it the last.
• 7. Jacob never feels comfortable in shorts or short-sleeved shirts (which is why he hates gym class): he feels immodest with his arms or legs bare. This comes because he spent too much time as a young child quietly in the same room listening to his mother or father lecture one of his older sisters on "modesty" and "propriety" and though the lectures weren't meant for him, it stuck. Strangely, the only time he doesn't think about it is when he's swimming: he's perfectly comfortable in a swim suit, though *only* in the water.
• 8. The written word is Jacob's outlet for all the tangled feelings he will never express to anyone else. But sometimes, when not even writing is enough, he'll lock his door and turn out the lights and claw at his arms. It feels good, and the marks fade. Until the next time.
• 9. He's never eaten much, always eating like a little bird, picking delicately at his food. But when he's particularly depressed, he won't eat, until someone forces him to eat.
• 10. Medication would really help Jacob out a great deal. Unfortunately, unless something drastic changes or happens to him, then he'll never get on medication.
• 12. He feels guilty every time Daniel, or anyone else, worries about him.
• 13. Jacob is in denial about the fact he's gay. He would almost rather be completely asexual then admit to himself that he's gay. It's not that he's homophobic-he's not-it's because it would be the ultimate in letting down his parents, and if he admits this to himself, then he has no chance at all of ever being anything but a disappointment to them.
• 14. He's innocent enough not to understand why being helpless tends to leave him breathless for other reasons then simply exhaustion, but it frightens him. In plain and simple terms-Jacob has a bondage kink, as well as being rather sexually submissive. He just hasn't realized this yet, and he really has no idea what bondage is, or even kink.
• 15. Jacob has fallen asleep in the graveyard before, usually after a long session of talking to the ghosts there or even allowing them to possess him for brief periods. It tends to confuse Daniel a lot, and worry him, leading around in circles.
• 16. Jacob's favorite color, surprisingly, is not black, despite how much of it he tends to wear. It is actually a very, very, very deep purple, so close to black that it looks black in most lights.
• 17. Jacob, while he attends Mass regularly because he has to, has not prayed in years.
• 18. He hasn't laughed in four years. Occasionally, he will crack a little ghostly smile, but it's been so long since he's laughed, he's forgotten what it sounds like.
• 19. Jacob won't watch TV. He might watch a movie on occasion, but he really doesn't like to do that, either.
• 20. (he's spent so long trying to be what others want, that he doesn't quite know how to live for himself).
• 21. Jacob's favorite song is "Girl" by Tori Amos. He hasn't quite realized that except for the gender difference, he pretty much *is* what the song describes.
• 22. He hates loud noises: he much prefers the quiet. In the same vein, he tends to feel faint in crowds: he actually *has* fainted in a thick crowd before.
• 23. Jacob has never managed to sit through the entire midnight Mass on Christmas Eve, which his family attends every year. It started when he was three and fainted because it was too hot and there were too many people in the church. Every year since then, he has had to leave the Mass and sit outside before the Holy Holy Holy.
• 24. His favorite class is English, for obvious reasons: he always writes his essays the night before, and always gets As on them.
• 25. He hates math. Despite the fact that he took algebra in middle school, and is ahead of the usual math sequence for freshmen, he isn't anywhere near as good in math as his parents would like.
• 26. Jacob has never been afraid of the dark. In fact, he rather likes it.
• 27. He is always cold, no matter what he does or wears.
• 28. He hates fresh tomatoes. He'll eat them cooked in sauce or as ketchup, but he won't eat them in salad or on a sandwich.
• 29. Jacob is not the type to scream when he is in danger.
• 30. If he lost his voice for good, Jacob would not miss it at all. He uses it little enough, as is.
• 31. The only person allowed in Jacob's room is Daniel. No amount of pleading or begging can change this.
• 32. He keeps a meticulous journal, writing in it every night. No one else has ever seen this journal.
• 33. Despite his terrible coping mechanisms, Jacob will never resort to actually *cutting* himself. It would bring too much attention, claw marks in his arms fade fast, and he doesn't want those marks to be permanent.
• 34. Jacob doesn't care too much about his birthday or Christmas. He'll get other people presents, but he doesn't ever make a list of anything he wants or tell anyone, or give hints as to what he wants other then the most subtle. If anyone actually gets him anything, he's fine with whatever they get him.
• 35. He has a black thumb. As much as he likes looking at flowers, he just can't seem to grow them.
• 36. He sleeps with his bedroom door closed and locked.
• 37. All the stories he has ever written have ended unhappily.
• 38. At family reunions, Jacob tries to stay outside by himself as long as possible, until dragged back inside.
• 39. Jacob has the bad habit of slipping off by himself to take walks when Daniel is occupied.
• 40. If something terrible, truly terrible, ever happened to Jacob, he would not say anything about it, simply swallow it into his silence and not speak of it. The only likely way to even find *out* would be to witness what is happening.
• 41. Despite the fact that his family owns two dogs (two welsh corgis), Jacob is afraid of dogs. He likes cats, though, and has a kitten of his own.
• 42. He has never been kissed or kissed anyone.
• 43. Jacob wore ribbons in his hair precisely once. The resulting lecture left him white-lipped and shaking, and even further in the closet then before.
• 44. He has never really been able to tie his shoes. Unless he has to wear sneakers for gym class, he usually favors slip-on shoes.
• 45. Jacob hasn't taken any sort of headache medication since his failed (and hidden) attempt at suicide at the close of his eighth grade year.
• 46. Jacob has a collection of plushfrogs. They live in the closet.
• 47. Despite most of his rotten coping mechanisms, Jacob is not a masochist. Clawing himself feels good, but it's a different good then being helpless makes him feel. It doesn't make him feel fluttery and breathless.
• 48. When he went to the doctor for his yearly physical so he could be eligible for sports, it was "suggested" that he gain at least five pounds, which he hasn't done yet. However, he wasn't quite underweight enough to fail the physical.
• 49. His parents have forgotten his birthday every year for the past three years. It's not that they don't try, it's that he's so quiet and they have so many children, it's easy to forget.
• 50. He doesn't snack between meals, or eat candy. He's pretty well given up junk food. Except soda, and even then, he limits that to moderation.
• 51. All his books are arranged in alphabetical order by author, then title, and kept carefully dusted.
• 52. Jacob's favorite flowers are white lilies.
• 53. He has somehow never had an injury more serious then a sprain.
• 54. He has three copies of the Holy Bible, from three different catechism classes.
• 55. Jacob reads anything. Even sappy romance novels. A book is a book is a book.
• 56. Jacob's favorite season is summer. He hates winter, simply for the fact that it's cold.
• 57. It's been a long time since it seems the last time his parents were proud of him.
• 58. Sometimes, he looks through old photographs, and finds the one picture of himself as a very very small child, and wonders where that sweetly and shyly smiling child went (it couldn't possibly be him).
• 59. He doesn't understand that yes, he does, have something to be depressed about.
• 60. (he always feels as if something is missing.)
• 61. He hasn't had a photograph taken in about two years with his knowledge.
• 62. The key word being is "with his knowledge", as Vera has taken several candid shots of him that he has no idea that she took. Probably for the best, as he'd freak out if he knew of those photographs taped to her bedroom mirror.
• 63. He never makes promises casually. If he promises someone something, he will do everything in his power to fulfill the promise.
• 64. Jacob hasn't dressed up or gone trick-or-treating on Halloween since he was about five.
• 65. He has a small mouth: going to the dentist is annoying, as there are always complaints on how he never opens his mouth wide enough.
• 66. Jacob has never had a cavity.
• 67. Jacob is by far, the shortest of his siblings, even considering his age: they were all way taller then him when they were his age.
• 69. He hates visiting his aunt Deborah: she's never liked him for some reason.
• 70. Saying 'no' does not come easily to him, except in response to questions in which he doesn't know the answer.
• 71. Jacob, down deep, is resigned to the fact that he is most likely going to go to hell.
• 72. Once again, he spent too much time in a corner listening to his parents lecture an older sister. This time, it was his mother, talking to an older sister about how she should try to be a virgin until she's married. It stuck, and he missed the part of the lecture in which his mom added that even if she didn't, it would be better to be in a stable, long-term relationship: no one-night stands, basically.
• 73. As Jacob is quite sure that he will never get married, he's pretty much planning on being a virgin for the rest of his life.
• 74. The idea of sex terrifies him, from what little he knows from biology classes and stuff. It's not even the fact that the little nagging voice in the back of his head keeps reminding him that he doesn't like girls until he shuts it up. The idea of being so intimate with another person, of being so close, scares him.
• 75. While Jacob doesn't usually watch movies, his favorite two movies are The Princess Bride and The Last Unicorn. The Princess Bride because it is incredibly tongue-in-cheek, and the Last Unicorn...because he just liked it.
• 76. He promptly went and bought the novels of both.
• 77. Jacob didn't cry at his baptism, not even when splashed with ice-cold water.
• 78. He read the Book of Revelations when he was seven, and because he was a very literal-minded child, ended up having nightmares for a week.
• 79. In elementary school, he was never in reading groups with the other children. He always was assigned harder books to read: he was supposed to discuss them with the teacher, but usually ended up just writing down answers to questions.
• 80. Jacob has never passed an assignment that requires giving a speech or presentation.
• 81. He likes sitting on the floor, not in chairs.
• 82. Jacob checks out piles and piles of books at a time from the library. He finishes them in the course of an afternoon.
• 84. Jacob doesn't read comic books, as a general rule: the only one he reads is The Sandman by Neil Gaiman.
• 85. Jacob likes rainy days best.
• 86. He spends a good deal of the school year grounded. Usually after his interim reports come out, until after his report card comes home.
• 87. He hates going to the beach, though he likes swimming in the ocean. He hates the sand getting everywhere and sticking to him.
• 88. Jacob has three rosaries, that he stuck into his drawer and hasn't used in a long time.
• 89. He always dozes off during the pastor's homily, because it is so unbelievably boring.
• 90. He drove his parents crazy asking about the inconsistencies in the Bible.
• 91. While he doesn't quite believe in the Catholic faith anymore, he still enjoys watching the Mass after the Nicene Creed. The ritualism is pretty.
• 92. The last time there was a depression screening at school, he passed only because he lied on every question.
• 93. He doesn't think anyone in his family other then Daniel would miss him if he suddenly disappeared.
• 94. He's never cut class, not even when he's really, really, really wanted to.
• 95. He has tried to fake sick though. It never works.
• 96. Jacob's Sun sign is Virgo. He was born with Cancer for a Moon sign.
• 97. His parents thought he was going to be born a girl, and so him being born a boy was a surprise.
• 98. If he had been a girl, he would have been named "Esther" instead.
• 99. sometimes, Jacob reminds himself of a butterfly. Pretty and fragile, and with one touch, it will never, ever fly again.
• 100. Sometimes, and only sometimes, he wishes he had died when he tried to kill himself. And then he catches himself, and hates himself for being so selfish, and claws his arm until he feels just a little better.
• 101. Jacob doesn't really trust anyone, though he trusts his brother the most. He trusts himself, the least of all.