Cynis Falen Sarien
From Lynnesheets
FucgB9 I loved your article post.Thanks Again. Will read on...
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break me neatly numb me sweetly;
He was never quite good enough. Small and fragile, wide-eyed and too pretty for his own good, Sarien was never particularly good at anything as a child. Except, that is, for warming his elder brother Jalide's bed: his sadistic, manipulative sorcerer of an elder brother took a fancy to him, and took what he wanted, bending and breaking his younger brother to his will, shattering his self-esteem and self-worth, and to this day, that is part of how Sarien defines himself. Even after he Exalted (in the middle of a nervous breakdown: he destroyed a good portion of his parents' garden, and in years to come, managed to destroy a lot of things, both with his lack of control over his Essence and unstable moods), that didn't stop his brother. In fact, to make matters worse, it was an open secret what Jalide was doing: people knew, and didn't try to stop him, and that has left Sarien embittered towards the rest of his family.
It didn't help his self-esteem any that he proved to be an utter failure at even understanding the basic theory behind sorcery, though Jalide and his other siblings were talented sorcerers. Sarien was, therefore, sent to the House of Bells as an alternative, though he knew that it was because he was a disappointment, had not been able to be what his parents had wanted of him. Ironically, his greatest gift, his extraordinary gift for tactics, was discovered, purely by accident. He understood tactics like he could not understand sorcery, breathed them, understood them as easily as a fish swam in water. But no one had ever given him a chance to prove himself: in fact, it was only that before an important training exercise, the leader of the training platoon he was in suffered an accident and was incapacitated: Sarien managed to figure out a cunning plan anyway. After that, he was trained in how to use his tactical genius.
During his time at the House of Bells, he was befriended by a boy about two years older, a mortal Dynast by the name of Cathak Gaius Gan Ning, who had gained admission with a combination of bribes, passing the tests, and his tactical genius. The two were close friends during those years, fellow outcasts: Sarien being insane, though less crazy then during his childhood, and Gan Ning being unExalted, who kicked ass with their collective tactical genius. Gan Ning was the first person Sarien slept with other then Jalide, the first who showed him pleasure instead of pain: however, while Gan Ning suspected a great deal about Sarien's past, he got no straight answer out of the younger boy.
Unfortunately, Gan Ning was later sent to Greyfalls post-graduation from the House of Bells through the machinations of an unknown party but who was most likely Jalide, where he fought lots of evil things...and apparently died fighting an insane Anathema known as the God-King. His body was not found, while the Anathema was found with a separated head, decapitated with a broken straight sword. The news sent Sarien, whose new semi-sanity was only tenous, back into a downward spiral from which he never recovered.
The last straw for his family was when he graduated the House of Bells at the bottom of his class, with the only people below him being the mortals, especially once he fell headfirst into a life of hedonism, hiding his intelligence and gifts beneath a wastrel facade, doing hollow things to try to forget that he was hollow inside. Infuriated, his family packed him off to Greyfalls to get rid of him, so he would be out of their hair and the hidden disgrace to be swept under the rug. For his part, he was glad to be away from them.
Especially away from his brother.
i'll fall under the spell you cast as you let me down;
Sarien is a slender, slight, young man, who looks to be far younger then he really is, maybe about fourteen or barely fifteen, of about 5'11" though with such a slight build that he appears smaller, delicate-looking and not at all physically imposing. He is a Fire Aspect of unmistakably impeccable breeding but unusually pale, almost translucent, alabaster skin, easily bruised and marked, rather ghostly-looking with very long, thick, silky bright red hair that he usually keeps tied back into a long ponytail (unbound it falls to the ground), and deep, wide, startlingly green eyes, dressing most often in green, favoring fluttery, delicate, translucent silk robes that conceal barely anything and leave almost nothing up to the imagination, and a dark cloak, with both ears pierced: he wears delicate, finely worked jade earrings. He possesses a red jade chain shirt and a pair of red jade short daiklaves, both old work (one could possibly wonder how such a fuck-up like him could get such quality things), crafted in such a way as to suit his delicate frame, and not overwhelm him. While tall, he is tiny of frame, with small hands and feet, far too thin for his own good, but proportioned in such a way that his slenderness only adds to his appeal, rather then subtracts, long-limbed and graceful. Delicately lovely, with breakable, otherworldly beauty, but surprisingly strong for someone who seems so fragile and frail (not to say that he is very strong, because he isn't), he is usually to be found smiling, a sweet smile: what most people don't see is that it's a false smile, that never seems to quite reach his eyes, because he long ago forgot how to really smile, a sweetly broken childlike smile. He carries himself with perfect, floating grace, somehow a vulnerable grace, attempting to project a false confidence and easygoing nature that is nothing but a facade.
He looks more like a porcelain doll then anything real, hauntingly beautiful and breakable and oh so delicate, a pretty toy more then a person, the sort of looks that could inspire dark thoughts of posession and covetousness in a good number of people, and have. He has the 'break me, use me, shatter me' look written all over him. Sweet-voiced, with a soft, musical low alto voice, he is easily mistaken for a woman. Or would be, if it wasn't for the fact his clothes reveal his lack of womanly curves.
hold my head up to the lies that you feed me;
Most people see only the outside shell that Sarien presents to the world: the hedonistic, sybaritic Cynis, so typical of others of his House, a pretty little wanton slut, as well as drunk most of the time. Often childlike in personality, and so very out of it, he seems as though he is either high on bright morning or had his mind fried by too many drugs, all the time. Part of that is true: Sarien is indeed drunk, or attempting to get drunk most of the time, as well as a hedonist (of sorts), but he's nowhere as shallow as he seems. Or even happy. He hates himself, deep down inside, lacks inner peace or even a focus most of the time. He cannot stand the idea of anyone else being hurt like he was, surprisingly compassionate for a member of House Cynis, a master of the laughing mask. He is too gentle and too compassionate for the world he was born into, more sweet then he ever should have been, and it breaks his already-broken heart into shards to witness the suffering of the world.
An unstable genius and expert tactician, Sarien's moods swing wildly, and he tends toward melancholy and depression, with no self-esteem or self-worth, with too much compassion besides: he puts more value in others then he does in himself. He knows that he is pretty, and sometimes down deep, believes that's all he is, the pretty shell. To try to erase the emptiness and depression he feels, he turns to alcohol and sex, though consciencely, he tries to deny that being the reason and tries to simply explain it as that he likes pleasure. Part of his desperation to bury himself in sex and have as many lovers as he can, is to try to erase, somehow, his memories of being a child, of being his elder brother Jalide's plaything.
He can enjoy it for a little while. And then, sometimes, afterwards, he weeps, when his partner(s) are asleep and cannot see him cry.
Sarien is also weak-willed, impulsive, prone to outbursts and behavior dangerous to himself, innately self-destructive, passively suicidal and with a clear submissive streak: he cannot say no, do anything for you he would, especially if it's related to sex, unless it involves hurting another person or those he cares about, is basically almost, if not completely, incapable of informed consent. Because, after all, he reasons, his body doesn't even really belong to him anymore, if ever it did in the first place, so what does it really matter? He's also incapable of setting outside limits for himself, sexually speaking: unless a partner puts their foot down and insists that enough is enough, he could be sore and bleeding and in no physical shape for sex, and yet try to seduce them into more. He has, and does, fake pleasure when he is not enjoying himself but believes it would please his partner(s) to think that he was enjoying himself: he relies on acting and facades a great deal.
At his worst, most melancholy, he cannot even summon up the will to get out of bed, though he disguises it by simply pretending he's lazy. He profoundly believes at the core of him that he is not only weak and worthless, but that it was his fault for everything that happened to him, that he is a whore, good for nothing but gratifying others' every desire, that what was done to him wasn't rape, that he consented somehow, that he wanted it. In many ways, he is still the frightened wounded child who both never grew up and grew up too fast, all at the same time. Lost, fragile of mind and heart and soul, he truly is Ophelia, wandering down secret halls and corridors, all alone.
He is an extraordinarily affectionate young man, especially considering everything that has been done to him, with an extraordinary amount of love to give, and equally affection-starved: however, he does not want to be loved or cared for, believing that he does not deserve it. That any chance he ever had for love was taken away from him, because who would ever want him if they knew what Jalide had done to him?
make me high on lullabies a melody for me to sway;
Name: Cynis Falen Sarien
Concept: broken tactical genius
Aspect: Fire
Anima banner: flickering flames with lots of ashes and soot
Motivation: to kill Cynis Falen Jalide
Intimacies: hating his elder brother, Cynis Falen Jalide: protecting the helpless: belief that he's weak and worthless: his younger sister, Cynis Falen Lianna: belief that no one will ever want or love him if they knew about his past: belief that it was his fault and that he deserved all the abuse that he got: belief that he does not deserve to be loved or cared for
Attributes:
Str: 2
Dex: 5
Sta: 2
Cha: 2
Man: 2
App: 4
Per: 2
Int: 4
Wits: 4
Caste Skills: Athletics 3 (+1 Flexibility), Dodge 5, Melee 5 (+2 Paired Blades), Presence 4, Socialize 2
Favored Skills: Occult 3, Awareness 5, War 5 (Tactics +3)
Other Skills: Linguistics 3 (Native: High Realm, Low Realm, Riverspeak, Old Realm), Martial Arts 1, Resistance 2, Archery 1, Performance 3, Ride 1, Lore 3
Virtues:
Compassion: 4
Conviction: 1
Temperance: 1
Valor: 3
Willpower: 5
Essence: 3
Essence Pool: 25/32 (Per+Peri)
Backgrounds:
Breeding 5
Artifact 3 (paired red jade daiklaves (Feather Moon and Scarlet Sky), red jade hearthstone bracers, red jade chain shirt, red jade hearthstone amulet)
Manse 3 (the Freedom Stone-set in bracers, Stone of Gender-Changing-set in amulet)
Destiny 3
Merits:
Tactical Instincts
Flaws:
Nightmares
Derangement: Melancholia
Beacon of Power
Enemy: 3 (Cynis Falen Jalide)
Addiction: alcohol
Addiction: sex
Conviction Vice: Cynis Falen Jalide (autofails Conviction rolls when he is confronted by his brother/in the same area as him)
JB: 9
DDV: 9
PDV: 5
MDV: 4
MPV: 3
-0, -1, -1, -1, -2, -2, -2, -4, Incapacitated, [Stamina x Dying]
Attack:
Paired Red Jade Short Daiklaves:
Speed 3 Accuracy 17 Damage: +9L Defense 14 Rate: 4
Soak:
6L/5B/5A
Hardness:
2L/2B
Charms:
Resistance: Ox-Body Technique x 1
War: 2nd War Excellency, Terrestial War Reinforcement
Dodge: 3rd Dodge Excellency, Safety Among Enemies
Melee: 2nd Melee Excellency, Dragon-Graced Weapon
precious ladies love you love me;
Cynis Falen Jalide- Air Aspect sorcerer of about half a century in age, Sarien's most hated sibling, subject of his nightmares, and pretty much THE biggest influence on him. Sadistic, cruel, manipulative, obsessive, possessive and just all around a horrible person, Jalide has basically made his younger brother dance on his puppet strings for almost two decades. Rape, manipulation, threats, and carefully applied psychological torture are just a few of the tools he's used against Sarien over the years: and as bad as it's been, it's only going to get worse.
Jalide is a little over six and a half feet tall, handsome yet cruel-looking, with longish white hair and green eyes, very obviously an Air Aspect of impeccable breeding, physically imposing and powerful in build, with a rich, confident baritone voice, carrying himself with perfect, unshakeable confidence. His main resemblance to Sarien comes in the startling color of his eyes: otherwise, the two siblings don't resemble one another. He dresses finely, in dark colors.
Cynis Falen Lianna-One of Sarien's younger siblings, a recently Exalted Wood Aspect of about fourteen, who is now being groomed to attend the Heptagram, she is the only one of his immediate family who Sarien actually likes-in fact, he is quite protective of her, and while he is willing to let bad things happen to him, for being used to it, he will react violently should he find out anyone has harmed her, or tried to harm her. Soft-spoken, kind, sweet, yet strong-willed, Lianna has strangely been not afraid of her publicly unstable older brother, and Sarien has never learned why.
Lianna is a slim, willowy girl with blond hair and green eyes, white roses growing entwined in her long hair, fairly pretty, a Wood Aspect of impeccable breeding, of slender yet wiry build: while she hasn't reached her full growth yet, she promises to be quite tall once she's done growing. She smiles and laughs frequently, sings often-she is a masterful singer-who dresses in white and pink (especially pink) very often.
Cathak Gaius Gan Ning-best/only friend, lover, and unfortunately apparently quite deceased, Gan Ning was a mortal Dynast two years older then Sarien, who was one of the few people who cared about him-in fact, loved him. It has been only a few years since Gan Ning's death, which shattered Sarien and from which he has never recovered. However, things may not be just as they appear...
say you would say you could;
- Sarien is one of the 1-in-1,000 Dragon-Blooded who are Death-touched and can use necromancy. He isn't quite aware of this fact yet.
- Has completed/is completing the Lessons of Melancholy, Decay, and Stasis
- autofails cooking rolls. What, he's never had to do any cooking before in his life, did you expect him NOT to autofail?
- also possesses a copy of the Thousand Correct Actions of the Upright Soldier
and you just give me away;
my heart, your hands, gentle my friend/break me neatly, numb me sweetly/say you would, say you could/say you'd come and stop the rain/say you'd try and hold me tight/and you just give me away
