Housepride Apron Schtick

From Intelligent Shit Music

Seventh track on Thus Spake Mamareeko, originally recorded for the God is Making Pies Out of All of You, and rerecorded for the unreleased EP 0 (EP) Forgive Me, I'm Ovulating EP, the latter version appearing on Thus Spake Mamareeko

Lyrics

Oh mum won't you buy me a kitchen collection?
Six hundred knives, a fork. (and some spoons)
I got a hankering to do some bakering.
Pat-a-cake-a-pancake in the bake-bake. (Shake-a-shake-a-shake-a-shake-a-shake)

Oh mum won't you buy me a kitchen collection?
I burnt down the oven when I cooked my dog's head.
He said a 'woof-woof! You dandy man!
Dandy dont you think you can boil my head?'
And so I did and now he's dead.

I want to do some baking
But right now I'm just faking.
'cos my kitchen is equipped with
Nothing but housepride apron schtick.

Oh daddy won't you buy me car with a sunroof?
I wanna look cool, I wanna drive round school.
I wanna shout 'Yo stanz! Where's your head at man?'
(But Stanz hasn't got a head, because he doesn't exist)

Oh dad won't you buy me a submarine with a jazuzzi?
So when I'm diving for fish and I get an itch
I can jump under the water with my arse on a cooler
And relax the tracks, make pacts with jumped up jacks who owe me seven pounds.

I want to do some baking
But right now I'm just faking.
'cos my kitchen is equipped with
Nothing but housepride apron schtick.