Editing Housepride Apron Schtick

Seventh track on [[Thus Spake Mamareeko]], originally recorded for the [[God is Making Pies Out of All of You]], and rerecorded for the unreleased [[EP 0 (EP) Forgive Me, I'm Ovulating EP]], the latter version appearing on ''Thus Spake Mamareeko''

== Lyrics ==

Oh mum won't you buy me a kitchen collection?<br/>
Six hundred knives, a fork. (and some spoons)<br/>
I got a hankering to do some bakering.<br/>
Pat-a-cake-a-pancake in the bake-bake. (Shake-a-shake-a-shake-a-shake-a-shake)<br/>
<br/>
Oh mum won't you buy me a kitchen collection?<br/>
I burnt down the oven when I cooked my dog's head.<br/>
He said a 'woof-woof! You dandy man!<br/>
Dandy dont you think you can boil my head?'<br/>
And so I did and now he's dead.<br/>
<br/>
''I want to do some baking''<br/>
''But right now I'm just faking.''<br/>
'''cos my kitchen is equipped with''<br/>
''Nothing but housepride apron schtick.''<br/>
<br/>
Oh daddy won't you buy me car with a sunroof?<br/>
I wanna look cool, I wanna drive round school.<br/>
I wanna shout 'Yo stanz! Where's your head at man?'<br/>
(But Stanz hasn't got a head, because he doesn't exist)<br/>
<br/>
Oh dad won't you buy me a submarine with a jazuzzi?<br/>
So when I'm diving for fish and I get an itch<br/>
I can jump under the water with my arse on a cooler<br/>
And relax the tracks, make pacts with jumped up jacks who owe me seven pounds.<br/>
<br/>
''I want to do some baking''<br/>
''But right now I'm just faking.''<br/>
'''cos my kitchen is equipped with''<br/>
''Nothing but housepride apron schtick.''<br/>