CurSING! Necromonica Commands It
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None! this is Right Before It Was Launched
Starring
Joel, Brad, Phil, Elly, Rya, Keen, The Special Level Guys, Craig
Newbs
Keen, The Special Level Guys, Craig
TranScript
ANNOUNCER: {'tonight' appears on the screen as he speaks} Tonight, on Bonus Stage...
{cut to Joel and Brad flying in the box}
BRAD: Welcome aboard Air Brad.
JOEL: Uh, is this like Air Bud?
BRAD: No.
JOEL: Are we gonna fight the Red Baron?
BRAD: No. Any other dumb questions?
JOEL: Uh, yeah, what's that thing-UHG!
{The box soon smashes into the ground. Cue opening credits.}
{cut to Phil and Elly sitting on the couch}
PHIL: …so I told the lawyers to just rename him Craig, and that why we’re not allowed to say Mission Hill on the air.
ELLY: Yeah, that story sucked. When's Joel coming home?
PHIL: I thought you liked my stories.
ELLY: I liked your mom’s stories.
PHIL: Well, she does tell some pretty funny stories.
ELLY: Remember Lite Brite?
PHIL: Uh, where does that come from?
ELLY: {angrily} When is Joel coming home?
PHIL: Uh, well, I wasn’t even aware that Joel… went places. What, is-is he at work?
ELLY: No, he’s outside. {quick shot of Joel standing outside}
PHIL: Doing what?
ELLY: I dunno, basking in awesome?
PHIL: The only thing Joel's basking in is... What the...?
{shot of the open doorway, where music can be heard. Joel enters, bobbing up and down to the beat. He dances for a bit, which freaks out Phil, then begins to sing.}
JOEL: {singing} It’s been a while but I’m back on top; Gonna rock you harder than a Dixie cup; {shot of Phil looking bored and disturbed} I lost my arms back in ‘94; Now here is Phil, and he’s gonna tell you some more.
{he waits as the music keeps going. Phil does nothing but sit there and look at Joel with an annoyed look.}
JOEL: Alright, shut it off. {the music stops}
PHIL: Whoa, what is this, a smart house?
JOEL: You’re a smart house. And the house, is your mouth. Disney’s House of Mouth.
PHIL: If I wasn’t nearly comatose from boredom, I’d say you were trying to start a musical number, correct?
JOEL: Phil, we’re pulling out all the stops.
PHIL: Oh, is that why those signs are over there? {cut to a pile of signs lying in the corner}
JOEL: No, those signs have to learn their lesson. They're direspectful, calling their man to beat me down…
PHIL: You know that's, a serious crime?
JOEL: I know that the outside world thinks it is. Which is why we have to start our own, undreground society. We will call it Philopolis.
PHIL: Why don't you just call it... oh, you did. huh. What would this society have?
JOEL: Uh.... paintball.
ElLY: Would it have you there?
JOEL: Hell yeah it would. I am the overseer. You can call me Fat Joel.
ELLY: Awesome!
PHIL: Why?
JOEL: Just forget it. If you didn't get it, you're not going to get it. Here's something you'll get: You're a drunk.
PHIL: {defensive} Yeah, but, I keep it under control.
JOEL: Not that one time you didn't.
{cut away to Joel and Phil on a white background. Phil is dressed like Witch Hunter Robin and twiching sporadically.}
JOEL: What the heck are you?
PHIL: {drunkenly} Witch Hunter Phil... I, have, the witchcraft, but... I'm not a witch... watch... yet!
JOEL: Wow man, where's the camera.
PHIL: Cameras are witchcraft!
JOEL: WAHH!!! {Joel is suddenly lit on fire}
{cut to Joel and Phil on an elevator, going down.}
JOEL: For our underground society to work, we're going to need people. And not just robot people, but influential people.
PHIL: We're... we're still talking about this? Wait a minute, since when did our house have an elevator?
JOEL: Man, where were you during the cutaway? Take a look, at Joelbertron- what the!?
{Warp Pipes That Lead To Elland and Philopolis}
TBC
Trivia
- This Has Boredom Busters Written All Over It
- First Musical!
- Sorry, Matt Wilson
