Car 0
From Finsters Place For Made Up People The Tbs Wiki
Revision as of 18:50, 18 May 2006
{Credits roll, open up to Joel and Phil on a couch.}
JOEL: Look, everyone knows auto mechanics tamper with the battery, so you have to go back to them in a week. {Cut to closeup of Joel.} But you can't do jack 'cause they're, you know, tied... {Cut to closeup of Phil.} to the... mafia. {A pause. Cut back to Joel and Phil} ...I know this fascinates you... you fascinator.
PHIL: Uh... you don't have a car.
{Cut to Joel, standing at an angle and pointing to himself, with a yellowy background.}
JOEL: I have a car! I bought it. A-and you can't drive it, {Cut back to Phil.} it's expensive and it's-and it's... European.
{Cut to outside, where Phil and Joel are looking down at a cardboard box.}
PHIL: Yeah... that's a box.
{Cut to Joel.}
JOEL: It is now thanks to my mechanic, Brad, whom I shall now call Brad the bad... guy.
{Zoom in on the box, which has a black puddle around it.}
PHIL: Uh, what's with the puddle?
JOEL: Uhhh... oh! He gave it a free oil change. {Cut to Phil.} Yeah, that's something they glorify to make you ignore the fine print, but I don't buy that.
PHIL: So... it's always been a cardboard box.
{Cut back to Joel.}
JOEL: Phil, it's a transformer. It becomes a hover jet, and we're gonna go find the mini-cons, and...uh, you're not invited.
{Cut to Phil and Joel.}
PAST PHIL: Oh...
{Future Phil falls from the sky, screaming.}
FUTURE PHIL: AHHHHHHH! STOP MAKING THIS CARTOON! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!
{Future Phil chops Past Phil's head with an axe.}
JOEL: Whoever you are, you should positionify yourself out of my hot jam! My hot meat jam!
FUTURE PHIL: Joel, don't make this cartoon, it...
{Future Phil starts to disappear}
FUTURE PHIL: ...what the? Oh crap! I've been McFlyed!
{Future Phil disappears, except for his eyeballs, which fall to the ground.}
JOEL: In the future, I should come up with a way to bring everyone back to life...soooo...anyway...
{Cut to Joel and Brad.}
JOEL: You swindler! I demanded that my car be {Cut to the box, outside.} new and improved, not replaced with your post-G1 technology. That's not improved. That's... duh, de...proved.
{Cut back to Joel and Brad.}
BRAD: All sales are final, stinky!
JOEL: You know NOTHING of my odors!
{Cut back to Joel and the box outside. Music stops.}
JOEL: Let me just get this straight. You bought a car, and then you sold it...to...{sigh} this just doesn't work without a comic foil.
{Foily pops in}
FOILY: Hi, I'm Foily!
JOEL: Nobody likes Foily.
{Foily looks sad.}
JOEL: Oh well, it's not like it was gonna amount to anything, anyway. I guess I can go back to doing what I love best.
{Cut to Phil's House. Joel Is With ac's Goons}
Joel: Make New Comic Foils
{Foily pops in}
FOILY: Hi, I'm Foily!
BEAUTY: Joel Said A Nobody likes Foily.
{Organisation 13 Stare at Demyx, Foily looks sad. Cut To Demyx's Family, A Baby Puts A Picture of him in the trash, Cut To Xenmas}
Xenmas: HANG HIM FROM THE GALLOWS!!!!!
Demyx: uh,oh.
Kaiser: I’ll get the restraining jacket.
Timmy: I'll Get The rope!
Zero: And I’ll call the happy hotel, And The Gallows!
{Enter Norm The Genie}'
Norm: Oh, I get it! Joel Re-Visits The Happy Hotel, 5 months later...
{Joel Hangs Himself. Pause}
