You try to explain to Jughead.

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"Uh. I was just listening to you snore and hoped you'd wake up, see me and get freaked out a bit. Like I said."

He stares at you.

"You always were a crappy liar Arch.

So why'd you do it?"

"Do what?"

He grabs your crotch and just happened to grab your semi correctly.

He squeezes.

Hard.

"Ahh!

What the heck man! Let go!"

He squeezes harder.

"Tell me what you were doing."

He squeezes harder.

If this were any other circumstance, you'd be hard.

But seeing his mom embarassed the blood right out of your man tool.

MAN!

Jughead was about to cause circulation from your dick to your body to be cut off!

"Let go man! Seriously! Are you gay or something?"

You tightens his already iron grip and makes you shriek.

"Gay?! Are you serious Arch! GAY?! You freakin' kiss me and I'M GAY?!

His face is red as heck!

He's pissed.

"Yeah Arch! I know! I know you kissed me.

Didn't you think I'd wake up?

Or were you too horny?

Where's your hard-on now?

GAY?! I'M GAY?"

He let's go of your cock.

Ahh. Finally.

Man does it hurt.

Like somone stuck it through a Life Saver's candy.

"What the freaking heck is wrong with you? I'm freaking sleeping and you KISS ME?

What that one of your secret fantasies?

Do you just go around kissing dudes?

And what's worse, you LIE ABOUT IT!

What the flying heck?

At least be man enough to admit it.

God forbid you actually admit it!

God for-freaking-bid you say "Jug I kissed you. Hope you don't mind, sorry." NO!

You LIE!

No wonder Betty and Veronica can't stand you!

You're such a freaking baby!

Man up and grow a few!"

Wow.

You've never seen Jug madder.

He whirls around to see his mom standing there.

Darn it. What the heck is wrong with his mom. Can she go somewhere? Preferably somewhere where she'll stop coming in at the worst damn moment?! Darn it! She's annoying! Maybe if hadn't given birth to such a hot son, this wouldn't be happening. Hot son!? What the heck?

You really are gay.

Let Jughead deal with his mom and slip away.

Watch what happens and let the crazy foodie crash and burn.

Help Jug out.

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