Victim: Start masturbating

From Create Your Own Story

You make sure you have your iPhone by your side as you want to try something you've never done before. While you've known of the good feelings touching your penis on various surfaces has produced in the past, you've never really tried to get inspired by anything remotely sexual.

You think back to when your parents tried talking to you about where babies come from, but they never really went past "it's just what mothers and fathers do when they love each other." Oh, well, you thought, I guess that's far into the future at this point to worry about.

Then you think back to last year when your 6th grade teacher tried introducing your class to "sexual education." You had to get your parents to sign a permission slip stating it was OK to talk about something. The class was so boring and so uninteresting, and just gave other classmates a chance to giggle and say the word "penis" that you really didn't want to pay much attention to it nor ask any questions for fear of looking stupid.

You go onto Wikipedia and start researching sex and see a picture of two hoverflies mating. You find this to be absolutely ridiculous and eventually make your way through tabs and tabs of what leads you to what is apparently a picture of a very large penis.

This starts to make your crotch tingle a little. You unbutton your pants and press your crotch up against a pillow, as you always do, to feel the pleasurable pressure against your penis.

You

• Victim: Keep looking for more dirty photos online
• Victim: Take a photo of yourself with your iPhone
• Victim: Give up on the inspirational photos and just have fun touching yourself