User talk:Blackdragon25
From Create Your Own Story
Please review what you're posting as your spelling and grammar is very poor. For example:
she is taken of gaurd and your mouth agasint
should be: she is taken off guard and your mouth against
--Platypus 18:29, 18 May 2011 (UTC)
Windows have shutters. Human beings shiver and shudder. --Platypus 14:23, 19 May 2011 (UTC)
When ever is one word. Whenever. Girlfreind is correctly spelled girlfriend. Try to use proper spelling and grammar! --Platypus 14:16, 25 May 2011 (UTC)
Family Ties
Just responding to your comments on my page. Breaking categories down into characters isn't common, but it's not unheard-of. It's not something you should have done since the beginning, but I feel it adds a lot. I've been enjoying the story so far (keep up the good work!) which is why I've expressed such an interest in it. If I could make one comment, you should probably use a spell-checker. Other than that, though, it's great! Cannon 04:24, 26 May 2011 (UTC)
Thank you kindly for your comment on my page! RL is about to get busier for me so I may not be editing much for a while. I do have a couple of thoughts: I don't think you did this in the Family Ties story, but I've seen one or two incest fantasies around here where the writers want to give the prepube boys adult-sized "equipment." I think that is a major mistake. It spoils the effect, because it breaks the spell, the suspension of disbelief, and the allure of "forbidden fruit." Me, personally, I'd emphasize Timmy's childish traits (including physical ones, like his hairlessness, which I think you did describe) and try to make sure his dialogue was something a boy that young might say (ditto, to a lesser extent, with the older children).
I added a line about fishing trips to Stacy's thoughts on the father, mainly because I was thinking about what might make a good climax for the story (at least from Stacy's point of view) - perhaps after a night or two of "adventures," dad goes off on weekend fishing trip, leaving mom alone with all the kids, so she has a free hand to take it as far as she wants - either having both the boys at once, or even revealing to all four children that she knows everything they've been up to, and ending the story with a "group" scene involving everyone but Dad. - Alberich User talk: Alberich
