OJS/Rob a bank
From Create Your Own Story
(Created page with ''''████████:''' "I could totally rob a bank with these powers! Might as well give it a try. Who's gonna stop me, the police?" You flick the tiny piece of super-c…')
Current revision as of 16:47, 12 August 2018
████████: "I could totally rob a bank with these powers! Might as well give it a try. Who's gonna stop me, the police?"
You flick the tiny piece of super-condensed metal with your fingers, launching the full weight of a car into orbit.
████████: "...Doubt it."
A few minutes away with your enhanced running speed is situated the central bank. This dull and stuffy building would be getting some excitement today! You waltz straight in stark naked, through the middle strut which holds together two sets of sliding glass doors. Cacophony ensues as stone and glass are forced aside by your impressive stature. Immediately an alarm goes off, and three guards stationed inside draw their weapons.
Guard 1: "Freeze!"
All the guards focus their weapons to you. Since you are unfazed by these stern warning, the guards must constantly re-adjust their aim to account for your movement. Three seconds is enough: everyone present can see that you have no intention of stopping or slowing down.
Guard 1: "Open fire!"
You recall that you didn't specifically test your invulnerability with projectiles, but you did survive a house falling onto you without a scratch. And as it happens, the volley of bullets striking you are nothing more than a noisy nuisance.
Seeing bullets ricochet off your bare skin causes the guards to back down. Two others run away having expended their bullets, while the third one screams for backup into their radio.
You reach the front desk. The receptionist lady, having witnessed first hand your unstoppable nature, has absconded. Not missing a single beat of your stride, you smash through the hardwood and bullet-proof glass with beaming confidence. Right afterwards comes a solid brick wall with some kind of a maintenance shaft behind it. After busting through another, similarly thick brick wall, you find yourself at a steel staircase leading downwards.
Not bothering with the method of vertical descent set before you, you instead violently stomp on the floor until it collapses down. At the very least this will hinder anyone trying to come after you. Now you come to a sealed solid steel door, possibly a security door shut in case of a break-in. Never fret - to a superwoman such obstacles are mere playthings!
You walk up close, inspecting the door ahead of you with a devious smirk.
████████: "Hmm... Nah, I think I'll spare my efforts for the main event."
You bend down and poke your hands clear through the five-inch thick metal base of the door, then proceed to gently and slowly rise up to fold the entire door on itself, as if opening a garage. Finally, you are face to face with a massive, hulking circular door with that iconic, almost stereotypical valve smack dab in the middle of it. You strut forwards like a model on a catwalk. At first, things seem simple enough: you want to get inside. But really, what's the point of breaking into a bank with superpowers if you're not doing it in style? You want investigators to come over and take one look at this awful scene and think: "WHO OR WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK COULD'VE DONE THIS!?"
Peeling this door open like a banana simply wouldn't do. No no, this calls for creativity. Thinking outside the box! Or, more like inside.
The vault air is dry and dust-free. The two feet thick armoured airtight walls could almost make you think that nothing at all was going on outside. The darkness and silence are broken in a single moment however, when you send the door flying inwards with a single shove. The indented piece of metal imbeds itself deep on the other side of the massive vault, crumpled up like a candy wrapper.
████████: "Now to get to the real event."
The vault is absolutely stacked with gold. Just pallets upon pallets of solid gold bars in perfect rows. You effortlessly pick up three heavy-duty pallets up with one hand, weighting over twelve tons. Also grabbing the discarded door in your other hand, you haul the entire load back outside the vault.
You begin to mend the gold bars together. Soft on their own already, the 24-carat gold feels like nothing more than air to you. Next up is the steel door. With bare hands and effortless ease, the rigid steel is quickly and masterfully transformed into a hollow statue of yourself, only about twice as tall. You fill the statue up with gold flakes by grinding down two of the three gold pallets by rubbing them against your washboard stomach.
████████: "Appropriate enough that I have sculpted abs!"
The last pallet of gold is spent on the outside of the statue. You fashion most of your skin out of gold. For your nipples and cameltoe, you gonk two large diamonds from a safe locker, and crack one of them in half to use as nipples.
Not quite satisfied with this work of art yet, you go grab a few more pallets of gold. Then you carve out large wavy crevasses on the concrete floor and fill them out with gold as well, leaving behind a sort of tacky but cool-looking style. Finally, you sign this artwork by writing in cursive on the floor with a single finger.
████████: "Haha! I'd like to see their faces..."
You take a gander over to the vault, now four pallets of gold emptier, but still bursting with valuables. For a moment you consider stealing some more, but to what end?
████████: "Phew, what would I do with gold? I can get whatever I want, and nobody can stop me!"
With that, you leave your precious artwork behind and saunter out of the building. Outside you see that the bank has been surrounded with tanks.
████████: "Oh goodie, more toys!"
Chief of Police: "Fire!"
The armored vehicles all fired in rapid succession, leaving the sidewalk and the bank's facade a smouldering heap. As dust settles, a single voluptuous figure can still be seen sporting a wicked grin.
████████: "So, don't want to play nice, is that it?"
Chief of Police: "(Crap. Should've seen this coming...) RETREAT!"
Panic ensues as the dozens of police officers and army personnel scramble to evacuate. You pay no mind. Instead you grip your chin gently while pondering as to which tank to cube-ify first. Or maybe you'll do a dodecahedron for change? My, the possibilities are endless!
As the sudden relocation has left a distinct lawlessness present, you see no harm in engaging what some might consider destruction of government property. Eeny meeny miney mo: You pick the rightmost tank.
A bit of foreplay to set the mood. Heading for the rear of the massive 70-ton vehicle, you have no trouble whatsoever in lifting the back end up singlehandedly. A few steps forwards and another hand, and viola: the whole tank is in your arms exactly as easily. Gripping tightly and separating your arms, you rip the entire tank in half with a mighty grunt. Before discarding the now-defunct scrap metal, you tie the tank's barrel into a knot just for fun.
Now that that's done, you're free to smash the seventy tons of junk into a bowling ball-sized greenish object, which you allow to drop and lodge itself into the pavement below.
Moving over to the next tank in line. This one will have the fate of being flattened half an inch thick. Of course, you make sure to first bend the barrel into a bonny little bowtie. The mighty machine offers no resistance as your steamroll hands crush it into tin foil.
Before advancing, you wish to be a bit cheeky and see how many times you can fold the remains in half. They say you can't fold a piece of paper more than 7 times, but how's about a tank? Might as well try. Inhuman metallic screeches fill the deserted street as two unforgiving hands force it into taking shape. The first five folds are effortless, and the two leading up to seven are easy. But now you're faced with a five-foot pillar of super-compressed steel, taller than wide.
████████: "Hm. Is it cheating if I compress it further? Probably, but who's gonna stop me? The army?"
A single light press of your fingers reduces the super-dense steel even further.
████████: "...Doubt it."
You bring the deformed clump up to your daunting face. Unimpressed by its flaccidity, you crush the remains completely flat, almost exactly to the dimensions of an A4. This laughable item you fold another seven times, to a total of 14 folds.
████████: "Ha ha ha... I'm just ridiculously strong. Hey, who are you?"
You see:
