User talk:Karasil
From Create Your Own Story
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{{warn2}}--[[User:Platypus|Platypus]] 00:16, 11 August 2017 (UTC) | {{warn2}}--[[User:Platypus|Platypus]] 00:16, 11 August 2017 (UTC) | ||
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| + | I moved A girl's life to G under the index, not A. You don't use A, An, The to alphabetize your stories. You use the first non-filler word. Please find it under G in the adult index now. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 01:50, 11 August 2017 (UTC) | ||
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| + | P.S. You should study how to avoid run on sentences. I find it easier to just write like I would speak. When you would take a pause, then use a comma. When you would take a longer pause, then end the sentence. Using and to join together sentences is not a good way to write. You can check here for advice on how to correct: writing.umn.edu/sws/assets/pdf/quicktips/run-ons.pdf | ||
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| + | I will fix your first page of A girl's life so you can see what should be done, but for proper writing, please remember to make sure you avoid things like that. | ||
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| + | I mean, would you say, "I went to the market and I bought food and I put the food in a bag and I took the bag and loaded it in my car and I drove home and I went into my house and brought the bag with me and I unpacked the bag and put it in the cupboard and refrigerator and then went to watch TV." or would you say "I went to the market and bought food. I put the food in the bag, then brought it to the car, loading it up. I drove home, walking into my house, bringing the food bag with me. Once I had unpacked it, putting everything in the cupboard or refrigerator, I went to watch TV." One just seems like someone talking who won't shut up, keeps talking, and doesn't stop for breath until they need to. The other is more of how someone would speak, just telling the details in a way that flows better. Simply replacing and for a period sometimes does wonders for the reader, rather than making them feel like they are about to pass out because the sentence goes on and on without them being able to stop and take a breath... --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 04:32, 11 August 2017 (UTC) | ||
Current revision as of 04:32, 11 August 2017
Please make sure to include the title of the story as a category on each page you post. If you don't know how to add categories, please review the Tutorial, especially Basic page format.--Platypus 17:05, 10 August 2017 (UTC)
Second warning. Uncategorized pages will be edited or deleted.--Platypus 00:16, 11 August 2017 (UTC)
I moved A girl's life to G under the index, not A. You don't use A, An, The to alphabetize your stories. You use the first non-filler word. Please find it under G in the adult index now. --Dirty Me 01:50, 11 August 2017 (UTC)
P.S. You should study how to avoid run on sentences. I find it easier to just write like I would speak. When you would take a pause, then use a comma. When you would take a longer pause, then end the sentence. Using and to join together sentences is not a good way to write. You can check here for advice on how to correct: writing.umn.edu/sws/assets/pdf/quicktips/run-ons.pdf
I will fix your first page of A girl's life so you can see what should be done, but for proper writing, please remember to make sure you avoid things like that.
I mean, would you say, "I went to the market and I bought food and I put the food in a bag and I took the bag and loaded it in my car and I drove home and I went into my house and brought the bag with me and I unpacked the bag and put it in the cupboard and refrigerator and then went to watch TV." or would you say "I went to the market and bought food. I put the food in the bag, then brought it to the car, loading it up. I drove home, walking into my house, bringing the food bag with me. Once I had unpacked it, putting everything in the cupboard or refrigerator, I went to watch TV." One just seems like someone talking who won't shut up, keeps talking, and doesn't stop for breath until they need to. The other is more of how someone would speak, just telling the details in a way that flows better. Simply replacing and for a period sometimes does wonders for the reader, rather than making them feel like they are about to pass out because the sentence goes on and on without them being able to stop and take a breath... --Dirty Me 04:32, 11 August 2017 (UTC)
