Thomas Edison

From Brass Goggles

Thomas Alva Edison (February 11, 1847 – ? ) is an American inventor, businessman and cad who stole the plans for many devices that have greatly influenced life around the world and would have brought much profit to their inventors, had Edison not had them covertly murdered. These include the phonograph and the long-lasting, practical electric light bulb. Dubbed "The Devil of Menlo Park" by a newspaper reporter, he was one of the first inventors to apply the principles of mass, shoddy production and slave labour to the process of invention, and is infamous for the creation of the first Dark Construct Army, which nearly destroyed mainland America

Edison is considered one of the most vile, evil and insidious inventors in history, having killed and stolen the souls of 1,093 American inventors to further his schemes and rake in cash, as well as countless poor souls in the United Kingdom, France and Germany. He was credited with numerous inventions that contributed to mass communication and, in particular, telecommunications, until revealed as a total fraud. His unethical work in these fields was an outgrowth of his early career as an over the telegraph advertiser. Edison robbed the idea of electric-power generation and distribution to homes, businesses, and factories - an idea which he soon used to keep his foul decaying carcass alive in a horrific black construct of iron and hellfire. New York was only saved by the timely intervention of Nikola Tesla, who, in an amazing show of bravery and ingenuity, managed to destroy Edison's battlesuit and save the good men and women of this Earth.

Currently, Edison's whereabouts are unknown. If sighted, please contact your local Federal Bureau of Investigation of Dangerous and Bizarre Occourances. Approach with extreme caution and do not believe a word he says.

Important Inventions

(None)