Jasmine

From Bluesockapedia

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sunburnt_atheist (a.k.a Jazzy) is an English species unknown from ZOMG!Outhere, England. More famous for his extensive knowledge of The Simpsons, he was also famous for a short period of time for creating the world's first cola-powered stream engine. He is married to Carah-Faye Charnow of the Shiny Toy Guns. Her real identity is not known.

Contents 1 Early life 2 Marriage 3 Captain Emo 4 Trivia 5 Ambitions 6 Alternate Egos 6.1 Jasmine 6.1.1 Breasts 6.1.2 Legs 6.1.3 Arse

Early life

Jazzy was born in 1973, to Fall Out Boy and a monkey. Her parents divorced after his father's comeback single; "This Ain't a Seed, It's Some Arse Rape" only reached number 4. His mother was later captured by a zoo keeper, so James left to fend for himself. When he was 10, he created Muselive, but kept the idea to himself, and chose to take a job at the pub instead.

Marriage

On July 11, 2007, Jazzy attended a Shiny Toy Guns concert in London, dressed in a tux, and wedding ring in hand. After the gig, she lynched the Shiny's tour bus, and forced himself past the security guard, and proposed to Carah. She immediately said yes, and invited Jazzy on tour with them for the rest of the year. Jazzy and Carah married on Treasure Island in 2008.

Captain Emo

Jazzy is the leader of the EMO, standing for Emotional (fe)Male Overlords, protecting the world from foreign and alien species with LiveJournals, MySpaces, and bleak and depressing emo music.

Trivia

• Jazzy likes the Shiny Toy Guns, incase you never guessed.
• Has seen Muse 10 times.
• Is rumoured to be female, who is really hot.
• She's not ginger. Not even a bit.

Ambitions

• Nail her wife
• Overcome the social stigma of not being ginger.
• Contract the Rage virus.
• Take over the world by replacing Wikipedia with the vastly superior, more acurate and infinitely more interesting Bluesockapedia.

Alternate Egos

Jasmine

Dude, she's like.... woah. If you've not seen this girl then you need to. I would, James would if he could, Auburn has.

She has several distinctive features:

Breasts

She has two, they're large and firm - everything you want from a hot 20 year old girl - seriously, if you haven't tried to nail this chick then you should consider getting nailed by her alter-ego James instead.

Legs

Go on, just imagine them wrapped around you, you know you want it.

Arse

Just watch how it moves as she walks, have you ever seen anything so perfect? It's like a peach straight out of the Garden of Eden.

Basically, you want her. You know you do.