Jasmine

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Revision as of 11:47, 28 June 2007

This page is loved by the Ninja Corp. Ninjas love this page, usually because it's just totally odd and or awesome. Tampering with this page in a major way will make the Ninjas unhappy. Ask the Piratees what that feels like.

sunburnt_atheist, also known as Jasmine Lewis, is the hottest emo alive. She was voted 'Hottest Emo Ever' in a recent awards show.

Contents 1 Early life 2 Her emo-ness and total hotness 2.1 Breasts 2.2 Legs 2.3 Arse 3 Ambitions

Early life

Jazzy was born in 1973, to Fall Out Boy and a monkey. Her parents divorced after her father's comeback single; "This Ain't a Seed, It's Some Arse Rape" only reached number 4. Her mother was later captured by a zoo keeper, so Jasmine was left to fend for herself. When he was 10, she created Muselive, but kept the idea to herself, and chose to take a job at the emo club instead.

Her emo-ness and total hotness

Dude, she's like.... woah. If you've not seen this girl then you need to. I would, James would if he could, Auburn has.

She has several distinctive features:

Breasts

She has two, they're large and firm - everything you want from a hot 20 year old girl - seriously, if you haven't tried to nail this chick then you should consider getting nailed by her alter-ego James instead.

Legs

Go on, just imagine them wrapped around you, you know you want it.

Arse

Just watch how it moves as she walks, have you ever seen anything so perfect? It's like a peach straight out of the Garden of Eden.

Basically, you want her. You know you do.

Ambitions

• Nail her wife.
• Overcome the social stigma of being emo.
• Contract the Rage virus. And survive.
• Take over the world by replacing Wikipedia with the vastly superior, more acurate and infinitely more interesting Bluesockapedia.