Vendo

From Azuwiki

Vendo is the God of Vending Machines, the almighty Quencher of Thirst. His mighty avatar is a giant bottle of Nestea that can shoot Nestea with enough pressure to decapitate mortals. He first showed himself to his Chosen Disciples on May 25th, 2006, the day of CAMS Intermediate Drama's rendition of The Sound Of Music. On that fateful day, Jacob "J-Man" Prouty (a.k.a. "Tydraad") and Mike "Break" Wandrey stopped at what seemed to be an ordinary vending machine near the HFA on the campus of CSUDH. Jacob purchased one bottle of Nestea from the vending machine, and received it. Upon receival of the drink, he proclaimed thus: "Ahhh, liquid sex." Soon, a second bottle of Nestea, the Holy Nectar of the Gods, was bestowed upon him, and a third. He fell to his knees before the vending machine, now known to be a physical manifestation of the almighty Vendo, and exclaimed, "YOU ARE A GOD! TELL ME THY BIDDING!!" He received it, as did Mike, and it was: "Go and spread my faith among the chosen people, and worship me!" Jacob maintains that Vendo also requires human sacrifice, weekly, in the form of midgets (only they can fit through the slot). Since that fateful day, they have spread the Word and the Faith of Vendo, and received bountiful blessings from His manifestations as holy vending machines. Jacob and Mike have since succumbed to the evils of Flooro, God of Comfortable Floors, but have still done their best to maintain the faith. Brian "Flamuck" Pait is also a Chosen Disciple of Vendo, and is dedicated to spreading the Word and Faith through any means available to him, including AsuWiki. Thus, this entry was created.