Blankspace

From Azuwiki

Current revision as of 08:38, 1 January 2009

Session Start (Break Miyama:shirei13): Tue Dec 30 21:52:34 2008 [21:52] Break Miyama: Hello! [21:53] shirei13: HELLO! [21:54] Break Miyama: How are you? [21:55] shirei13: Typing eehehheh [21:55] Break Miyama: Good, good. [21:55] Break Miyama: Now that we've got that out of the way, we do need to talk. [21:56] shirei13: Oh? [21:56] Break Miyama: Firstly, my attendance tomorrow is hinging on Edwin being able to make it, as he provides the transportation. [21:57] Break Miyama: However, it seems like he won't. [21:57] Break Miyama: If A, B. ~A. Therefore, ~B. [21:57] shirei13: Ah, I see. [21:58] Break Miyama: So yeah, unless something else gets arranged, I probably won't be there. [21:58] Break Miyama: The second point is a bit more....personal. [21:59] Break Miyama: It was regarding comments on what I get out of video games. [22:00] Break Miyama: The insistence that I only like winning when I explained otherwise was not something I appreciated. [22:00] Break Miyama: I am not that one-dimensional. [22:01] shirei13: I'd beg to differ, but go ahead. [22:01] Break Miyama: See, it's these sorts of things that frustrate me. [22:01] Break Miyama: You offer great competition. I try to tell you that, because it's the truth. [22:02] Break Miyama: Having that rebuffed, -then- being told what I actually feel? That's frustrating, and I might go as far as to say that it's out of line. [22:03] Break Miyama: I explained myself, and I don't want to have words put in my mouth after the fact. [22:04] Break Miyama: I'm not sure where you're getting this idea that I'm a completely open book and am always a loud-mouthed goofball who takes competition a mite too seriously, but that is only a part, not the whole. [22:04] Break Miyama: I'm trying to change what's merely a single perception that isn't completely representative of who I am. [22:05] Break Miyama: I'm trying to correct what I believe to be a hasty conclusion. [22:06] Break Miyama: What you see, even if it's for four years, is not what you get. [22:07] Break Miyama: We tend to meet under the same conditions - with a lot of friends, with games about, under an incredibly casual atmosphere, and the like. [22:07] Break Miyama: This doesn't leave a bunch of room for variance. [22:07] Break Miyama: You aren't seeing me frustrated, or mad, or sad, or nervous, or other things to that effect. [22:08] Break Miyama: Am I making sense? [22:09] shirei13: In all honesty? No. [22:09] Break Miyama: THen I'll try to summarize. [22:11] Break Miyama: Being told what I enjoyed about (whatever-it-is) after explaining my thoughts on the matter isn't something I enjoy. [22:11] Break Miyama: It's telling me that you know me better than I know myself. [22:11] Break Miyama: And the times you see me are not a representative sample of how I am. [22:14] Break Miyama: That's the gist of it. [22:16] shirei13: Are you done now? [22:16] Break Miyama: For the most part. [22:16] Break Miyama: Can I at least have a proper response. [22:16] Break Miyama: ? [22:17] shirei13: I'm not sure. I'll try, though. [22:21] shirei13: Quite simply, that's not the issue here. Yes, I'll have you believe what you wish; if you say that the true pleasure you derive from games stems from the challenge and not always winning, then so be it. However, you yourself once said that playing to win and playing to have fun are not mutually exclusive. Keep that in mind; it appears to dominate your thoughts whenever I play with you. [22:22] shirei13: I never put words in your mouth; you already spoke them. [22:22] Break Miyama: Right, appears. [22:26] shirei13: "Appears"? I'm attempting to be sarcastic here. I have never seen evidence to the contrary. In every game, for every round, for every time we've ever met, socially or privately, you have never, even once, considered any sort of idea to the contrary. There is no "taking it easy" for you. Everytime I try to sit back and enjoy and enjoy one of the very FEW means of relaxation I have, you ignore my request for a non-serious match and go straight for the throat. [22:27] Break Miyama: There is a bit of a problem with that, though. [22:27] Break Miyama: Not in the sense that you want relaxation, as that's perfectly acceptable. [22:28] Break Miyama: But in that "a relaxing match" isn't clear. There's no clear expectation of what you want me to do. [22:28] Break Miyama: How easy is too easy? [22:28] Break Miyama: What specifically's right-out in a "relaxing" match? [22:28] Break Miyama: I'd be happy to give you a more relaxing match if I knew what constitutes relaxing for you. [22:29] Break Miyama: The benchmark is very fuzzy, so I don't exactly have something to aim for. [22:34] shirei13: Ah. I see you really are that one dimensional. You're always so literal and rigid. You go straight for the win. That's all. The only goal you want to hear of in the games you play is to be appopriately challenged and to win. Hence, your obviously ruthless tactics in every match, even when your opponent just wants to ignore who wins and who loses in favor of simply playing the game. That's not something that canbe quantified. All I ask is that you don't always play like winning and challenge is everything. [22:34] shirei13: Got it memorized? [22:35] Break Miyama: It's not rigid to ask where the target is when I'm supposed to be shooting at it. [22:35] Break Miyama: You want a relaxing match. I get that. [22:35] Break Miyama: The problem is what's relaxing for -you-. [22:37] Break Miyama: "Don't always play like winning and challenge is everything" is something I can only shrug my shoulders at, and probably pick someone out of left field like Voldo or Yun-Seong in the hopes of getting close. [22:37] Break Miyama: I don't read minds. [22:38] Break Miyama: Nor can I work with really vague conditions. It helps to know what actually -is- off-limits so that I won't -do- it. [22:39] Break Miyama: It's not being bone-headedly literal; the statement can be taken so many ways, with some ways putting me at risk of escalating the issue. [22:40] Break Miyama: The clarity's being asked for for a reason. [22:44] shirei13: No, no, keep going. You're only proving my point. The statements made in my last reply are not exactly difficult to understand, save by someone who refuses to. They have no meaning to you, mostly because you deny them any. You do not take competition too seriously. It is never too serious for you. I have no idea where you got the idea, but very well. Hold to it if you must. Now, if we can drop this, you brought up, earlier, the real issue at hand. [22:45] Break Miyama: Then get to it, if you will. [22:49] shirei13: We do tend to meet under the same conditions. We rarely do otherwise. That's where the real problem is. The real problem is your behavior when we are around so many people, with such loud music and so many games. No, I do not see your other sides. You do not care to show them to me, though I have seen you mad, frustrated, and sad at the same time. At least in this regard, my conclusion was not hasty, even if has been a mere 4-going-on-5 years. [22:49] Break Miyama: Okay, then. [22:53] shirei13: The real problem here is that you feel it a better use of these situations to play games (which you are already better at) with me than to allow an actual party to happen. You feel it a better use of your time to play with me at the expense of other people's time. And quite frankly, you are not the only reason I organize these things. I hadn't seen anyone else there in nearly four months, but you wanted to play SCIV, so it looks like Ryan had to miss out on a much needed chance to see and talk with me. Do you understand? [22:54] Break Miyama: Okay, then. [22:54] Break Miyama: Are those all of the concerns? [22:54] shirei13: No, there's one more. [22:54] Break Miyama: Then do go on. [22:55] shirei13: You were a quick read. [22:55] Break Miyama: Okay, then. [22:55] Break Miyama: That'll be all, then. Session Close (shirei13): Tue Dec 30 22:56:28 2008