Page 133: SOL
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Master Hand was board. It was taking Nintendo forever to make the next Super Smash Bros. game. If he had eyes, he would cry. He sighed. Then an idea strucked his mind. “Hm, that does sound fun.”
5 MINUTES LATER
All of the smashers were minding there own business when Master Hand came into the room. “Good news everyone!” Master Hand cheered. “To pass the time, I decided that we played a little game of no truth-all dare!” All of the smashers groaned. “Oh shut up, all of you. Besides, it’s not like any of you have anything better to do.”
“Zelda and I were going on a date today!” said Link.
“I was going to see a movie that‘s showing in an hour!” growled Samus.
“I was going to a hair appointment!” whined Marth.
“Yeah, well you can do all that stuff tomorrow.” said Master Hand. “And if you don’t play, no dinner for a week! Got it?” Everyone grumbled as they sat in a circle. “But don’t worry, you won’t be the only ones to suffer- I mean playing!”
“Whose coming?” asked Bowser.
“Well, you don’t know them, and I never met them either, but I know who they are.” Master Hand took out a pokeball and summoned an unown and whispered something to it. The pokemon nodded and disappeared. When it came back, it brought many strange people with it. Nearly all of them wore head bands with strange symbols, mostly a swirling looking one. Several of the people there wore black cloaks with red clouds on them.
“Where are we?” asked a blue eyed, blond boy in a black and orange out fit.
Another boy, who had spiky black hair, black eyes, and was wearing a kimono (that for some reason exposed some of his chest. Peach could not help but notice; she fainted from a massive nose bleed), attacked one of the cloaked men. The cloaked man he attacked, who had black hair in a pony-tail and strange red eyes, dodged the attack. “Pitiful.” said the cloaked man.
“Shut up you bastard!” growled the kimono whereing boy as his eyes turned red. The two foes charged at each other and were about to attack… but they were stopped by Master Hand.
“Stop! Both of you!” shouted the glove-god as he slapped the opponents. He pointed at the cloaked man. “You quit bullying your younger brother by killing everyone close to him,” he then pointed at the boy “and you quit being a whiney, depressed emo! And if neither of you listen, I’ll spoil the ending to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!”
Horrified of Master Hand’s threat, the two brothers apologized and obeyed. “Hey Mario, didn’t Master Hand sounded just like dad just now?” Luigi whispered to his brother. Mario nodded.
“Any way, Crazy Hand did something retarded again, and I need bail him out of jail, so I won’t be playing.” said Master Hand.
“What?! This was your idea, and you’re not going to go through with it?!” Wario shouted with rage.
“Nope. Sorry.” Master Hand apologized. “Oh, by the way,” he zapped everyone with strange blue lighting that strangely didn’t hurt. “to make things easier, I’m using my powers to make you all know whose who. Choi.” With that, he left.
Everyone sighed and sat in a circle. “So who’s going first?” asked Caption Falcon.
“Simple.” said Zelda. “We just spin this bottle, and the person it lands on goes first.” She placed a soda bottle in the middle of the circle and spun it. It landed on Kakashi. “You go first Kakashi.”
“Alright.” said Kakashi. He spun the bottle and watched it land on Mewtwo. “Mewtwo eh? Hm.” He pulled out a book out of his pocket. “Hey Mewtwo. You’re a serious, no nonsense, some what stuffy type of guy, right?”
“Correct.” Mewtwo replied.
Even though he wore a mask, everyone could tell Kakashi was grinning. “Okay. Read this book for ten minutes.” He handed over the book to Mewtwo.
“’Make-Out Paradise’? Is this some sort of corny romantic-comedy for teenagers?” questioned Mewtwo.
“Oh, you’ll be surprised.” Kakashi said cheerfully.
9 9/10 LONG MINUTES LATER
Mewtwo was red in the face and one of his eyes was twitching uncontrollably. Kakashi was looking at his wrist watch. “6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Okay, you can stop reading now.”
“Take it!” Mewtwo said frantically as he teleported the book back it’s rightful owner.
“So, what did you think?” asked Kakashi.
“Well, the plot was very original, and the characters were very real. Surly it has won many awards.” Mewtwo answered.
“And it has!” Jiraiya said proudly.
“However, it’s far to perverse for my taste.” Mewtwo continued. “So don’t expect me to read it ever again.”
“As long as it has sex, Mewtwo won’t read or watch it.” said Ganondorf.
“That’s because he doesn’t get any!” Caption Falcon joked.
Mewtwo became embarrassed. “Sh-shut up!” he said as his face turned bright red again.
“Don’t worry buddy. I don’t get any either.” Orochimaru said as tried to comfort the psychic pokemon.
“That’s because Sasuke only likes men around his age!” joked Itachi.
“Shut up!” Orochimaru whined.
“Excuse me everybody, but may I remind you that we have a game to play?” said Zelda, who was getting tired of all the sex jokes.
“That right. Mewtwo, roll the dice.” said Kakashi.
Mewtwo sighed. “Okay.” he said dully. With his mind he spun the bottle. When it was done spinning it landed on Sasuke. “Sasuke, hm.” Mewtwo mused. He thought hard about what he could make the poor emo child do. An idea popped up. “Go hug Itachi.” commanded Mewtwo.
Sasuke’s eyes widened. Everyone became tense. “Are you serious?” ask the vengeful shinobi. Mewtwo nodded as he smugged evilly. Sasuke growled. “I hate you.” he whispered. He got up from his seat and walked over to his most hated enemy: his older brother Itachi.
The two Uchihas looked at each other in the eye. “Well?” said Itachi some what smugly. Sasuke growled. He swallowed his pride and placed his arms around his brother for two second hug. Quickly, he let go and ran back to his spot, glaring at Mewtwo, who had a small, but evil smile on his face.
“I’m pretty pissed off now, so pray you won’t get picked.” Sasuke warned the smashers and his fellow ninja. He spun the bottle and watched it land on Gaara.
Gaara folded his arms. “So, what sort of humiliating act are you going to make me do?” he asked.
“I’m thinking.” Sasuke replied. “I know. Gaara, switch clothes with Pit for rest of the game.”
Gaara got up and glared at Sasuke. “C’mon you winged freak.” he said as he dragged Pit by the wing to the bathroom.
“Your not going to rape me, are you?” asked Pit worryingly as he sensed Gaara’s dark energy.
“No, I’ll kill you first, and then I’ll give to Orochimaru. Then he’ll rape you.” the sand child replied.
5 MINUTES LATER
Gaara and Pit walked out of the bathroom with there out fits switched. “I look retarded.” said Gaara.
“Dude, what do you have in this thing?” asked Pit, who was having a difficult time keeping his balance due to the weight of Gaara’s gourd.
“Sand and porn.” Gaara answered matter of factly.
“And for the finishing touches…” Sasuke placed fake angel wing on Gaara’s back.
“Fuck you.” Gaara said angrily. He sat down in his spot and spun the bottle. Kiba was the next victim. “Hm, what to do to Kiba? I know, stand on top of Ganon.”
Kiba sweat dropped. “Okay…” so he standed on top of Ganondorf, which was easy because he fell asleep in the middle of the game. Being his turn, Kiba spun bottle. Most unfortunately, it landed on the king of evil. “Uh, hey. Wake up.” He said as he lightly tapped Ganondorf’s head with his foot.
When Ganondorf woke up, he was not too pleased to see Kiba standing on him. “What are you doing?! Get the hell off of me!” With that, he upper cutted the poor dog-nin to through the ceiling.
“Okay. With Kiba out of submission, it’s now Ganon’s turn.” declared Snake. And no, it wasn’t Solid Snake; it was one of Orochimaru’s snakes. Chouji then ate it.
Ganondorf spun the bottle and watched land it on Jiraiya. An evil grin came upon the war lord’s face. “I dare you to go a week with out porn.”
MEANWHILE
Inu Yasha and pals were battling Naraku on top of a volcano when…
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
This startled Naraku and caused him to lose his balance and fall into the lava below. “’Bout time that bastard died.” Inu Yasha growled.
“Yeah, but he took the Shikon Jewel with him. Which means you won’t be able to become a full demon.” pointed out Kagome.
“Aw shit.”
BACK AT THE SMASH MANSION
“Are you done yet?” asked Ganondorf.
“Yeah.” said Jiraiya as he spun the bottle. It landed on Roy. “Hey, I dare you to steal all the bras of the chicks in the room!” all the girls then beated the shit out of him.
“I don’t know. It doesn’t look safe.” Roy winced as he watched the blood shed.
“I’ll do it!” said Caption Falcon excitedly.
“Fine, since Roy’s a big chicken and all.” replied Jiraiya as hr wipe the blood off his face.
Offended by the remark, Roy worked up his courage. “Fine, I accept your challenge.” He then stole all the girl’s bras, but nearly died twenty times, ten of them from Samus. “Never… (pant)… make me… (pant) do that again.” He grabbed hold of the bottle and spun it. Roy became happy when it landed on his counter part, Marth.
“Uhg, just what I need.” The blue haired prince grumbled.
Roy thought up what he would make Marth do in two seconds. “Hey Marth.” He began to whisper in fellow prince’s ear. And no, it was not “I love you.” or “Make love to me.”, you scary, scary fan girls.
“You can’t be serious.” Marth whispered back.
“Ah, but I am.” Roy said smugly.
“I hate you.” said Marth. He began to stare at Tsunade, but not at the face.
“Are you staring at my tits?” asked Tsunade.
“Yes.” answered Marth.
Tsunade then punched Marth in the face for staring at her breast. Roy pointed and laughed until Tsunade punched him in the face for making Marth stare at her breast.
It was going to be a long day.