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RebelTaxi Loves MADOKA MAGICA (The Disney Executive's Guide to Puella Magi)
Introduction
Greetings, And congratulations, You lucky devil! I'm an obvious parody of Jeff Probst and You have found our big multimedia presentation for this. A Prime contender for the Arch Nemesis of Toei's Pretty Cure franchise, Or "Glitter Force" for those who think Saban can find a home for the show. An essentially overnight powerhouse in terms of merchandise and fans in Japan alone, not even counting the United States of America. It has the potential to crush Toei's attempt to unleash "Glitter Force" into the world as you can obviously tell by this Graph. Madoka Magica has fans in the states, Figmas are popular and they've dubbed their first season. While Precure has it's fans, Saban is probably planning to release the 16th Pretty Cure Team stateside just like they did with Power Rangers. But what is a Puella Magi? How did they become Puella Magi? Let's hop aboard my peanut butter powered sleigh and find out.
Chapter 1: The Start of Darkness
Imagine if you will, You need a way to generate thetans out of capable lifeforms after the main thetan generating races have been dumped into a Volcano on earth to channel the souls into a x-blade which the dark lord who masterminded it all has promptly dubbed: 'Demise'. *Cue Xenu's Maniacal Laugh* All life on the planet Earth which housed the Volcanic Grave felt a sense of disturbance, since the dawn of the Earthling Man, a handful of alien species guided them along the path to prosparity dispite their fears, their anxieties, their problems, and their long-ignored grievance for the souls combined into 'Demise' in what this deal's success shall declare the second greatest act of cruelty ever performed by a Disney Villain. The universe needs Thetan energy to starve off Entropy, the heat death of the Universe and the what this deal's success shall declare the Third Greatest Act of Cruelty a Disney Villian has ever committed before or since, A highly destructive risk the cosmic overlord was more willing to take. *Cue Xenu's Maniacal Laugh* Back to you, you are derping one off to a lolicon website when in comes the Director of the project, Nagito Shinbo, alongside his longtime associate, Mr. Cold, seeing the teenaged Tikyakian girls on the screen "Brilliant!" he said! "Magical Girls are known to defy the laws of science through magics that haven't yet been analyzed! If we make a system to create such warriors of justice, We can generate plenty of thetans to keep Entropy at bay, grow a potential army to turn the tables on Xenu, and we can have pretty dudical Toy Deal while we're at it!" If it were some other donkus, You'd clear it up and keep that mess a secret but if the boss has you in his sights, Your Job and possibly your life's on the line so you nod and agree with him like a Pritch! Sounds like a lot of hoopla to go into the Arch Nemesis Franchise of PreCure, Right? *WRONG!*
Chapter 2: How does it work?
So how do contracts work, Jeff Probst is reporting live from a Dumpster to begin with our friends, the Incubators.
Thanks, Jeff. As you are indeed aware, Alot of the appeal in the Puella Magi franchise is that there arn't that many magical girl franchises like it in japan. Mainly in terms of it's creatures and the Incubators that want them done away with. Incubators have a few variable traits and varying levels of Immortality. For example Kyubey has an infinite amount of bodies while Kazumi Magica's Resident Incubator Jubey can supposedly clense the Soul Gems the Puella Magi receive after contracting with these Incubators to connect their souls to an thetan growth tracing system known as 'the network'. Incubators, in return grant a wish to the girl in question the moment they contract. You do not want your soul gem to be misplaced or flat-out broken, it is the source of your power and your connection to the network. As the pendulum ultimately swings, there must also be creatures for the puella magi to fight. The low-level mooks are called wraiths, Nightmares are more like the mid-level boss in a video game but the real pests are the Witches, for every wish granted there is a curse growing from within a corresponding 'Grief Seed' that hatches when the wish that spawned it manages to find a way to bite the poor puella in question where the sun don't shine. They come in two proverbial flavors, Strays run amok and cause chaos across the poor planet housing them, to encounter the beyond rare Converse Witches the puella wence they came must have overcome the wish's reprecussions in some way shape or form and confront the witch head-on with her powers jammed, those who come out unscathed can use the witch as a familiar or a mech-beast...thing. There's one small problem regarding the placement of the grief seed and it was possibly influenced by 'Demise' in what a green light shall call the Overall Greatest Act of Cruelty ever to have come to pass under the watchful eye of the happiest place on earth. *Cue Xenu's Maniacal Laugh* Let's just say there is in fact a reason why seven out of thirteen incubators refer to this as the fatal flaw of the system, because it's for that reason that you do not want anything to break the soul gem especially from the inside out.
Chapter 3: The Holy Quintet
Now that you know how and why the system came to be and what goes on in the life of a Puella Magi, It is now time for us to introduce you to the cast of that wonderful Show that Started it all.
We start off with Molly Kennedy, A fourteen year old girl who encounters Kyubey, a mysterious critter who works as an Incubator. After struggling to stomach the difficulties of the job she witnesses firsthand throughout the series she wishes to somehow free all Magical Girls from their suffering. However, she would be cooped up within the law of cycles for a while with no one able to remember that she even existed, Not even her loving parents or her dopey little brother, Tatsuya. She would be 'rescued' by a curious entity who controls and probably even creates stray witches. For the sake of secrecy, we shall refer to this entity as the Nothing for it is the looming shadow of hopelessness cast by 'Demise' *Cue Xenu's Maniacal Laugh*
Having seen many occasions of a magical girl biting the dust and therefore the most intelligent by a narrow landslide, Hayley Adams does Machines. I mean, having broken into Government Files and Millitary Armories so many times over that by the time she became skilled enough at Arms construction to keep up with Phineas and Ferb. Her enchanted sheild grants her the ability to pause time for a minute or two to set up her explosives and the like. Her mysterious past and her determination to protect Molly makes her skeptical towards her making a contract and relundant to consider being a full member of the Holy Quintet. This goal of keeping Molly safe for as long as they both shall live has lead her down a pretty dark path in the Movie titled Rebellion, allying herself with the nothing and becoming it's eyes and ears on earth. *Cue Xenu's Maniacal Laugh* Hayley promised that if she does not accept the drastic measures she took to protect her in said movie, the two might end up as enemies... And that, my little executive, is terrible.
Let's move on to Sabrina Mitchell, Molly's best pal, a real wisecracker, and a hot-blooded heroine type of gal. Though she's a bit impulsive, she's got a great sense of justice and a noble heart. A matyr to her 'Peter Parker' Kyle Reese, Sabrina is the Atomisa Arc's Protagonist from the first episode til the third Madoka Magica Movie: Rebellion. As a magical girl, swordplay is her forte, she's also packing some serious healing powers. But there's one usually ignored but clearly noticeable design flaw in her outfit, the cape. This indicates that she's less of a 'Mary Jane' and more of a 'Gwen Stacy' in the case that she's not gonna get the guy anytime soon. It's probably for the best, since the guy would miss out on dates in favor of violin practice. *Cue Kyle on the Violin* You should see him on the guitar! You can see her impact on the story whether its the first time she saves the day or when she's no longer even around.
When the two friends met Kyubey, he was in a rather tight spot due to a witch attack among other, more raven-haired difficulties. That's when the leader of the Team, Ninth-Grader Maria "Mary" Tompkins, swoops in and saves our heroes. While Hayley's superior intellect is quite the boon, Mami's no slouch when it comes to tactics. Heavy Gunfire is her other one of her notable assets to the team, both in terms of her weapon of choice and her superhuman strength, she's around six times stronger than a normal human being as opposed to the typical puella's three times stronger. You could say Mary's Hard-Headed, Eh? Joking aside, if there's a problem that can endanger this incredible crew, she'll solve it no matter what. It's the least she could do for them since they are her friends and all that.
Rounding out the cast is Katie Stevens, often a drifter known across Japan, Katie Stevens has a roudy attitude and an epic appetite. Oh, and conversion of body fat into energy is another perk of being a puella. She's quite a slacker when it comes to schoolwork and tends to be irritated by those who get in the way of what she needs or even worse, waste food and potential grief seeds. While Molly's has enhanced agility over speed. With Katie, it's basically the other way 'round, her super speed and illusionary abilities matched by Homura's Speed and seemingly nothing else. Who's to bet that the latter's super speed is nothing more than just the seemingly nothing else.
Another thing Rebellion is known for is that it recognizes the Ninja Turtle parallels to the Team. While Mary Leads, Hayley does Machines, Sabrina and Katie are both cool but rude (Sabrina's Emphasis is on the Former, Katie's is on the Latter), Molly clearly does not meet the demand of a Party Dude...or Dudeene...I know what means Don't question my boy or I'm gonna-! And that's where Little Nikki Matthews comes in. Easily the Youngest of the bunch, She looks up to the 'Holy Quintet' as Mary had called their team. She acts as a little sister to Mary, helping her out in whatever way she can. Behind her Nieve, cheese-loving cheerfulness lies a tremendous strength in her abilities. She is one of two characters who manages to survive the fatal flaw and takes control of her witch, The Second being Sabrina and man, is taking control of the very witch that took you down just by hatching from the illy-placed grief seed a high note to go out on or what. Back to Nikki, Mary actually met the witch Nikki tamed before the girl in question. Nickname: Bebe, Real Name: Charlotte. Stupid Human Tricks, Can you do this? Bebe's been Mary's little companion since she rescued the little doll from a tumbling Cheese Wheel, Therefore Mary's only friend since her first student, Katie, split from her circle due to some bleak-tacular shenanigan described in the Madoka Magica Side-Manga: The Different Story. One last thing to seal the deal about Nagisa, she's a regular editor on the website TV Tropes and keeps a mental list of all the Tropes she's witnessed firsthand to keep track of how many times it unfolded in front of her due to her first exposure to the popular sit at the hands of her older sister, Hinata. Also we have an Incubator voiced by Patrick Warburton.
But they aren't just characters you can cheer on during their hunts, You can actually relate to them as well through the things they wished for. Like we said, Molly wishes for relief for all magical girls, a light within darkness. Sabrina wishes to heal Kyle's hand, to make him happy. This also extends to the backstories of the veteran Puellas of the group, as one shall realize from the dark elements of the original series. Hayley wanted to do a certain event over, not gonna spoil what it is but the one hundred times she repeated that same event over and over shifted her from a clumsy little dork with no real friends to the Badass Veteran as Cool as her Japanese Counterpart's Name we all know and root for. Maria Thompson's Situation was far more dire as she was in a car accident, killing off her parents and left her hanging by a thread, Thus in comes Kyubey, fresh from a brief year on the Planet Cake, who grants her wish to never die alone, thus she has Bebe (aka Charlotte) and the Holy Quintet to be there for her, a legacy should she finally perish. Katie's past is bit more tragic in that her family suffers along with her, Her father's a priest who praises the good words of the lord upstairs for a living, but when he derails himself from the typical texts and praises his own messages from the lord, his steady paycheck dissipates as his preachings flop harder than a fat guy on America's Funniest Home Videos. To rectify this, Kyoko wishes that people would listen to the guy and she became a magical girl because of that. But then her father learns the truth and burninates himself on the cross, taking burns his family and his church down along with him with Katie being the sole survivor. That is a sad fate for a really nice guy like him to go through, really, read Different Story and see for yourself how dogged the poor fella ended up. Nikki's Situation is similar to Katie's... Nikki's Father (Voiced by Tom Kenny) owns a Pizza Joint, wasnt doing so well lately due to overhead problems with a local Dunkin' Donuts. So Nikki made a contract with Kyubey to get customers for her Dad’s pizza store! But here's the Kicker, Nikki's Dad was childhood friends with Katie's, And he realised the truth about Kyubey and the Wish Nikki made upon a phone call from the young lady he assumed was Katie. He was preeeetty mad when he figured that out from what he heard from Katie so he Kicked Nikki out of the house and forbid her from ever sleeping in her house or even the Pizza Joint, Leaving the poor young child locked out with her soul gem clogging the garbage disposal, which caused the grief seed to be harmlessly pulled from the soul gem.
Chapter 4: Expanded Universe
As we said before, The Puella System employs young girls from all around the world regardless of the fatal flaw! For instance, Jubey has contracted a group of seven magical girls to combat not just the usual witches and wraiths, but false witches bred from evil nuts! ...It works in context! We focus on a young girl with amnesia named Kasumi by her friends who are a part of this group of Magical Girls called the Pleades Saints. Rumor has it that this group of Spellbinding Amazons aren't as they seem.
Oriko Magica features a Magical Girl who can gaze into the Future. Unlike Kasumi Magica which has it's own cast of characters to play their parts, Plenty of Focus is on Returning characters Mary and Katie and their relationship with the seer named Yuma... What? Did you think that the Title character was the one with the power I described? Course not, She's the main antagonist, Duh!
There are Two more stories currently in publication over in the Land of the Rising Sun wence it came. One Focusing on Joan of Arc and her Three Puella Comrades dubbed Taruto Magica and one with a completely new set of Five Puellas labeled Suzune Magica. Now if we go over the numbers, The Holy Quintet of Mitakihara has Five... and later Six Members with a Seventh, Hayley Samantha, Potentially being on the way! Speaking of Seven, The Pleades Saints doubles the Six.5 to make Thirteen With another Seven amonst cameos from (You Guessed It.) Mary and Katie the Puella Count at this point around 20 Puella Magi. Oriko, Yuma and Kirika make three more, and two from an expanded universe hits up my favorite number, 25. The Two new Spin-Offs pool together Nine Newcomers so there you go: 34 Puella Magi ready to kick some Witch, Nightmare and Glitter Force Butt!
Chapter 5: The Future
We have plans to use the Puella Magi in Kingdom Hearts III, which we plan to expand into a Five-Part Epic with Three Movies and Two Video Games.
Infinity Shows
The Cast of Kingdom Hearts
Sora is the Hotblooded hero of the Group.
Naminé is the Brains of the Operation, making her debut in Chain of Memories, she often tends to stay in the background, monitoring our playable heroes.
AWKWARD ZOMBIE Comic Ideas
- INTERNET: Hey, the Internet wants your comic to have a recurring segment. Meow
- KATIE: OK! But how...
Headcanon and You! (Nowi and Nowi)
- KATIE: Hey, Kids! It's time to dig into the Awkward Zombie Universe with "Headcanon and You!" A new segment in which I drop some knowledge on you about the universe as depicted by mois! I pick out whatever Crackpot Ideas I find interesting and stuff it into my big box of retcons. With that said, lets start things off with an Idea by this... "THiNCRUST Omega" guy? Okay, You remember Nowi, The little piece of perfectly-legal, thousand-year-old Jailbait who I made into a Wyvern Rider? There's a perfect explanation about how a Dragon like her can ride a Different Dragon, She Rides Herself! Take it away, Otacon!
- From there the Imagry matches what Otacon is saying
- OTACON: Well, Katie, She turns into her Dragon form and pictures herself Tying up a number of years in useless memories, Nowi here's going with a nice round twenty years and pukes them out of her brains.
- We see Nowi's Matured and Naked Body as her Naughty Bits are tastefully covered by Otacon's word bubble.
- OTACON: The memories form into a copy of her human body at the physical age equal to the sum of the years she expelled from her mind, which relieves you any legal follies to come out of a relationship with her.
- Cut back to Otacon, as the mood is suddenly sombre for some reason.
- OTACON: There are a few drawbacks to the clone. For instance, killing the original will ultimately kill the clone as well, the clone would age three times slower than a human as opposed to the original's hundred times slower, and while both share the same memories and experiences, only the clone can remember the useless memories while the original won't remember those days at all until the clone lies dying.
- KATIE: Ohhhkay, make sure to post your headcanons in the Idea Box below and you just might see your idea up here.
- CHROM: So, our dragon can ride...Herself?!?
- KATIE: Because I'm a master tactitian!
Headcanon and You! (Smash Manor)
- KATIE: Put those toys away cause now it's time to play: "Headcanon and You!" This next one's from 'THiN CRUST Omega' His idea is that the Smash Manor Grows with each game released. Here to explain the construction details is Tom Nook.
- Cue floor plans for the Mansion as of Melee
- TOM NOOK: See, since the beginning of development for Melee, the manor is built by a group of carpenters Sakurai-San rounded up himself, Building it up every time a new game begins production.
- Cue floor plans for the Brawl expansion of the manor.
- TOM NOOK: with the release of Brawl all the Characters move into the rooms built for them in the corresponding expansion. Leaving behind quite a few empty rooms.
- We see Roy and Link (Both OoT and MM) dusting Cockfighting Society merchandise at Nookington's
- TOM NOOK: Of course, not all of them are emptied, the characters left behind will still live in the manor, they just have to find whatever jobs they find so they can pay the bills for housing nesessities.
- KATIE: In other words, Yes, Marthy-Boy, No one even left.
- MARTH: Thanks, 'THiNCRUST'...You Sick Dastard.
Headcanon and You! (Bonus Box)
- KATIE: Put down that chainsaw and listen to me, It's time once again for "Headcanon and You!" Today we've got another thought from 'THiNCRUST Omega' he has something to say about the Bonus Box and the characters you can get out of it. How can you claim them in Awakening and prevent a nasty mess of paradox upon paradox? Anna the merchant has the Answer we seek so take it away!
- We see trophies of the Smash Brethren behind Anna as she speaks.
- ANNA: The Answer lies within the Super Smash Bros. Series which allowed it to appear in the States. Since time travel must not be used to meddle with other adventures, The Warriors of the past you ally yourself with are merely trophies of those long passed.
- The Shepherds are eating Pizza with the Other warrior units in the Fire Emblem games.
- ANNA: Although you cannot make one legend communicate in the game, they're actually quite talkative to their comrades, in fact Marth made a bet with Chrom that if he makes it into Smash Bros. 4, The entire Gang of Shepherds can live in the Smash Manor.
- Cut back to Anna.
- ANNA: And if you factor in the fact that every playable Fire Emblem Character's got a Trophy in the Awkward Zombie Universe, things are gonna get pretty crowded pretty fast...
- KATIE: What's that, Okay, good news, In the case that Chrom is chosen for the roster, Master Hand is going to bring Gurdur the Carpenter to build up the Smash Manor to Accommodate the Shepherds. How it'll even work out is unknown, But that doesn't matter! Be sure to send in those headcanons and show me your moves!
Headcanon and You! (Console Bored/Gaming Chrashed)
- KATIE: Get your motor Revved because I'm dropping another: "Headcanon and You!" Oh, Goody. Another one from 'THiNCRUST Omega', This time it's "How do all these characters fit into one setting." Have I been waiting for this one... To my Apartment!
- At the apartment is a fancy entertainment center with a TV, VCR, DVD Player, Gamecube, Wii, PS2, PS3, XBox 360, Wii U, Portable Consoles on stands, A big arse Skylander/Disney Infinity toy collection in between the Big TV setup and the PC, and a Dreamcast down in front on top of a Cable Box.
- KATIE: S'up, Norrin!
- NORRIN: Katie, You're just in time for the installation of the {Insert Next-Gen Console Here} to the Network.
- KATIE: You got the {Insert Next-Gen Console here}?
- NORRIN: Yes, In fact I did!
- KATIE: Sweet.
- We see the layout of the system.
- NORRIN: To the average reader this looks like an ordinary entertainment center, TV, VCR, DVD player, Consoles, A toy collection we actually don't have in real life, An XBox Pariferal that we unfortunately do have in real life, Stacks of Games and of course: A Popcorn Maker. We're working on adding the mini-fridge to the mix but we've got things to do and places to be.
- We see a bustling community of Characters. Both from Video Games and from TV/Film.
- NORRIN: But under the hood is a rich and beautiful world populated by every character from every source imaginable, Not just from the games we buy but from everywhere else in media, Hulu Favorites, Netflix Instant Queue, VHS, DVD, Blu-Ray, you name it and it is there! We can access any part of this world because we live here, but in terms of the world's natives, only characters with figurines can go farther into the real world than the yard.
Cut to Norrin, who will be cut of by Katie Right about...
- NORRIN: As for how we discovered this fruity little Trick, It's actually a pretty funny story ab-
- ...now.
- KATIE: And we're out of Time for Today, be sure to send in your suggestions and if you excuse us, we've got places to go (puts on some cool shades) and Sharks to Jump!
- Cue a sunset view of the world, The Puella Magi holy quintet are Jumping an Ocean of Sharks on Motorcycles with Katie (with the Star Command Jetpack) and Norrin (Crow Wing Pack) high above them
- FX: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!
Headcanon and You! (The Curious Case of Katie Heirich/Adventure Timeout/Award Bait)
- KATIE: Cleanup on Aisle Dork, It's time for: "Headcanon and You!" Literally a few seconds after I got the comic up, I receive word that this THiNCRUST Dork who keeps knockin' on my door has requested that the story be Told, so here's Chrom to tell us all about my Travels.
- NORRIN: Hey!
- CHROM: Thanks, Katie.
- We see when Katie first meets Chrom, Lissa and Frederick...while she is in her Real World Outfit.
- CHROM: When I first Met her, she was a little drunk, and she was dressed in garb from a land she described as the 'Hot Topic'. She could remember my name and she could remember her past in the world she lived in, but she did not know much about ours.
- NORRIN: Because it was a new place for her altogether.
- Fire Emblem: Awakening Montage!
- CHROM: After a proper outfitting, She became our kingdom's greatest and most treasured Tactician. Guiding us through thick and thin and when we had slain the dark dragon, she made her departure from our kingdom.
- NORRIN: Because she has a life and fandom to tend to!
- We then see a human Isabelle introducing Chrom to Mayor Katie.
- CHROM: It was a sad day for all of us and we would never see her again after that...at least, until we found out that she now the mayor of a small but quickly growing town in an animal forest of some sort.
- NORRIN: Y'know, Sometimes it's cute to know the Fire Emblem folk don't even perceive Animal Crossing folk as anthropomorphic Animals.
- We see Katie and the Gang having coffee at the Roost.
- CHROM: From that point on, she explained the vast open world within her entertainment center and that there was a War that's coming involving demonic creatures called... Personas... among other things.
- NORRIN: Shameless Plug!
- Cue a symbolic panel of Katie's house with a mannequin wearing her Fire Emblem garb as Katie is seen through a nearby window, decked out in a Cockfighting Society Trainer's Outfit and headed to the train with her fist up in the air like in the Breakfast Club.
- CHROM: However, when she recieved word of the Kalos region opening their port to trainers, her time as mayor would be limited at best. So on the day she left to begin another chapter in her life, she picked a few of our allies to look after the town while she's climbing to be the very best. Typical...for a master tactician.
- Cut to Lucina watering a flower with an annoyed look on her face as two other FE:A characters of Katie's Choosing are present.
Deviled Wife-os/Labor Pains
- Nowi and her visibly pregnant adult clone have a cavalier in their sights.
- KID NOWI: Ready, Copycat?
- GROWN NOWI: Ready as I'll ever be, (and please don't call me that.)
- They charge in for the kill when suddenly...
- ONOMATOPOEIA: CRAMP!
- ...she stumbles and falls on her back.
- MARTH: You had a 86% chance of finishing him off!
- KID NOWI: Hate to side with the Adaptational Jerkass but he's right, The odds were in our favor, What gives?
- GROWN NOWI: This stupid human pregnancy, that's what!
- Cut to Naw, who has finished the enemy cavalier for her mother.
- GROWN NOWI: You hear that, Naw? The minute you get your booty outta here will begin a day of momentous celebration so get your booty over here and protect me or Mommy's gonna go to sleep on her stomach and you don't want that, do ya?
- the adult Nowi then rants about how different the birth of a typical dragon is from her mixed-breed pregnancy (with a few fowl words sprinkled in.) as the battle wages on in the background. This prompts this remark from the real, physically younger Nowi.
- KID NOWI: Time Travel's a real pain in the butt, ain't it?
Spin On/Toy Binge
- Katie is spark grinding for Disney Infinity to get as many Toy Vault Spins as she can get. We see Tonto saying in front of the screen:
- TONTO: Torture.
- The word and it's pronunciation are at the bottom of the panel as Jack Sparrow tosses him off a cliff in the panel afterward.
To Hell with Gattai/We need Mega-Bored Power now! (part 1)
- A fleet of 718 Mechs based around Pokemon is flying towards the Aurum. We look into the Cockpit of the mech based on Katie's Favorite Pokemon to find...Katie!
- KATIE: Isn't this a bit much, Isabelle?
- ISABELLE: Of course not Miss Mayor, Master Pyron Insisted on having all your friends fight the Aurum hordes in these Giant Robots he built with custom Gunpla.
- We see all the Awkward Zombie characters appear in the Mechs including Golden Sun Party Members, Fire Emblem Armies and even the Smash Bros down to the Melee leftovers. (Bonus Points if Kirby's in the Ditto Mech and Pikachu's in the Raichu Mech)
- ISABELLE: And since you made tons of friends, this is actually the first fleet!
- PYRON: (In the Arcanine Mech) A pretty sweet deal to squash space weirdos, eh?
- KATIE: Look, I understand that I play too many games, hence the Pokémechs... But why are these yutzes here when I have never seen em before in my freankin' life!
- She points to the Puella Magi Holy Quintet in their Mechs. (Bonus Points if Nagisa Momoe is Snuggleing 'Bebe' in her Cockpit)
To Hell with Gattai/We need Mega-Bored Power now! (part 2)
- In the mist of battle(bonus points if 'Bebe' is about to bite a Mech's head off), Pyron devises a perfect Plan
- PYRON: Fall back Troops, We're gonna do a thing!
- KATIE: A thing? You've planned up...A thing!?
- PYRON: Of course, little lady Katie, We're gonna Combine!
- Cue a reaction shot from each and every character you can give a reaction shot
- ALL CHARACTERS: We're gonna combine?
- PYRON: WE'RE GONNA COMBINE!!!
- cue megazords forming from 3 to 5 of the 718 individual Mechs apiece. (Bonus points if you give a Megazord Formation to the Fire Emblem heroes labeled as 'Smash Brethren')
- PYRON: And that, kids, is just the beginning, you can shift into any part as the situation demands.
- KATIE: Please shut the hell up...
To Hell with Gattai/We need Mega-Bored Power now! (part 3)
- Katie and the rest of the 718 Poképilots are out of the Mechs and they are pitted against...
- KATIE: Power Rangers?
- ISABELLE: Even worse, They've brought some of their Japanese Comrades from the Super Sentai Series!
- KATIE: I don't even know much about Power Rangers or even care so things clearly can't get any worse/more humiliating
- PYRON: ALRIGHT, YOU BOZOS! IT'S MORPHIN TIME!!!
- FX: Nonsense!
- as many Poképilots as you can fit call out their respective Mech
- KATIE: ___________ who thinks our fearless leader's gonna ignore his Cockfighting Society and call out-
- PYRON: Tyrannosaurus!
- Cue an Army of Cockfighting Society-themed Power Rangers!
- KATIE: Meh... I don't even care anymore...
To Hell with Gattai/We need Mega-Bored Power now! (part 4)
- Our heroes are ready to pounce on the real warriors of Justice. Marth is just standing there
- KATIE: Wow, they've only got over 200 troops while we've got more than three times that... We might actually make it out of this alive, Pyron!
- VOICE: Don't get your hopes up!
- The voice belongs to Nobuo Akagi who is doing some epic finger-pointing.
- NOBUO: You may have numbers on your side, but they have something better!
- KATIE: Weapons? We have those. Mechs? One for each guy and gal. Strategy? Ram 'em down with numbers!
- NOBUO: Even Better, A Victory Flag! See, when an entire Army outnumbers a sentai, They shall Triumph each and every time!
- KATIE: Then how the hell are we gonna Win?
- NOBUO: Girl talking to a dead man says what?
- ...And he's gone
- KATIE: wut?
- Power Rangers beat up Katie as the Battle begins...And Marth is still standing there.
- KATIE: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
The Proposal
Matt: Hi, We represent the Up and Coming You've Got Legs anime studio!
Miller: We're here to propose to you a Disney Infinity Animated Series!
Matt: In one Take!
Miller: In Under Five Minutes!
Matt: Starting Now!
Miller: Upon an impending Mass Media and Finantial Crash, the Muginga Corperation...
Matt: A Multimedia Corperation that has invested in Gaming, Arms and Technology Companies since the start of their BFFs at Disney.
Miller: Plans a big investment in Virtual Reality Software and Nanotechnogy, This leads up to the Disney Infinity MMO!
Matt: A special update to the Game in which you can access the largest open world ever assembled from Every Toy Box Ever connected to the Internets.
Miller: We focus on three friends, Trasme, Xandre and Narnie, Who get Playsets for themselves and in Xandre's Case, his loving family.
Matt: Aw, that's so sweet of him. Forcing his Hobby onto other people!
Miller: After a Medical Examination that apperantly was required for the Game and it's Virtual Reality Neropod...
Matt: A sort of bed like contraption that can connect to your original body and can be loaded onto Trucks ala the Droid Transport from the Star Wars Prequels.
Miller: They put their Custom 3D-Printed Avatar Figurines onto the Infinity base and engage in the funtimes to come!
Matt: Maybe this information could be helpful to you in the future when you make the MMO a Reality!
Miller: They meet up with their friends at Team Infinity-Gurren; an Anime Club that has stuck together from Grade School all the way into College.
Matt: Growing up on Japanese Animation, That is the Way Team Infinity-Gurren Rolls!
Miller: And they meet a Badass Young Lady of Seventeen Years Old named Sekai Montague, She's the Personification of Non-Sequitur Playtime that ensues with Kids of all Ages!
Matt: So she can be a Beautiful Damsel one Minute and then a Heroic Amazon the Next?
Miller: Of Course! There's even an unknown past to her, she's even animated by hand whereas the Usual Cast of Characters from the Disney Characters to the Virtual Avatars are animated in Either Miku Miku Dance or Source Filmmaker, Whatever works best.
Matt: It's safe to say you're gonna go for Source due to Valve's Steam Technology.
Miller: When they try to log out into reality only to find that the Logout Function is not on the Menu!
Matt: That sounds familiar.
Miller: That's when the King of the game's Hubworld 'digitally' summons forth Our Heroes, Xandre's Clan, Team Infinity-Gurren and the rest of the 13,000,000 Buyers and cooresponding plus ones of the Carbon-Based copies of the Online Shop-Exclusive Playsets based on Disney Parks and Resorts.
Matt: Obviously another Idea for the Real Life MMO...
Miller: There they realise that for buying the MMO, they have applied to be evacuated from the Planet Earth through aformentioned Disney Parks...
Matt: Litteraly reworked for space travel courdacy of Muginga.
Miller: ...to escape the upcoming finantial crisis that might ensue back home due to the Wars, Pollution and Downright Corporate Stupidity!
Matt: Lookin' at you, Potential Perchase Capcom!
Miller: Also the King warns the players about Viruses that Perma-Kill you both in the Game and by vaporizing the Player Biomass on a Certain Vessel.
Matt: I think I've seen this Before.
Miller: The Last thing the King does is tell them to access a gift he had inserted into their inventory called a mirror.alude
Matt: Yeah, the name of the item comes before the dot which is classified by certain class of item after said dot.
Miller: It incases the players' Avatars in Bubbles while images of their real world selves are projected by their temporarally disembodied souls.
Matt: I think that show was on Toonami.
Miller: There are surprises aplenty ranging from Petty things like Opposite Gender Masqurade or Age Differences between Player and Avatar to Big Reveals that some characters are merely self-programmed AIs or that some Players are have been using a .alude item at the same time.
Matt: some '.' items react to other types of '.' items including when types are the same. In this case, A newly activated .alude and a consistantly projected .alude can cancel each other out, Get it Memorized!
Miller: And that is the Case for Big T, he was using a mask.alude to hide his prosthetic right arm! Prompting people to spout the line
Matt: It's like that anime I watch on Toonami. You are the Fullmetal-The Fullmetal Alchemist!
Miller: The Last thing this episode reveals right before the line is that Sekai is neither an Ai nor a Player. Who is she?
Matt: We have no Idea!
Miller: And Speaking of Toonami, We want you to air the dang thing right there on the Block because let's face it. We all know how Disney XD treats Action Cartoons like Motorcity that arn't based on Marvel Comics.
Matt: And even then, They're not even pure action cartoons, they're drowned in Ill-conceived Comedy so what is the Point?
Miller:
RebelTaxi NiGo
RTN: How I Spent My Supper Vacation
Knock, Knock, Guess Who's Backety-Back on the Down Low, My Home Depot? So Lip movement's currently an issue on Windows Eight, That's gotta be worth A Haitus in and of itself. So where was I all this Time, The Answer: I became a Piñata Farmer! They're the Talk of the X-Box Community Town, Sure to pick up all of the Waifu! I don't know If I could do a Review once I finally beat it, anyway, there were these Whirlms that loved their mother very much and then came Dastardos who scrunched her when she was sick... That was not a sight those two kids should see once they come back with the ring of flowers they humbly transmuted for her. Ouchies... The two wanted to raise her from the dead, the two broke open a wild Lickitoad for his Candy and Paper Mache, I provided a Dragonache and one of her eggs as I sat by as they watch their revival attempt seem to succed but ultimately Crash and Bernstein!
Ultimately, Alph and I were sucked into the Gate, Each of Us were sent off in to two different worlds, Alph Became a Pikachu in a Pokémon Civilization where he met this Larvatar or sone shit like that, I dunno, That filthy rat stole my money to download this game, While me and my Dragonache ended up in Yillesse with a couple of Shepherds, Chrom, Lissa and Frederick. Also my Dragonache, Okaratsu became a Human Girl... For Some reason and together with Chrom's Blade, Frederick's Strength, Lissa's Care, Okkan's Wit and My... Moral Support, We grew Our Numbers, Our Relationships, Our Futures as we Saved the Land from a Mad King who seeks nothing more than the demise of the Exhalt Herself. We also met Marth, Oooh... And some chick who spent most of her time with us disguised as the guy. All I can say is, A voice modulator from Robinson Industries when it's Fearless Leader has been slain by an A.I. Dalek? Awesome, but knowing that the Real Marth's in my Incredible Crew? Dude... Fail...
So Here I am, With the Job done and My dragonache choosing to stay in Yillesse, I decided to warp my way to a Dying Continuity. It's a matter of Recycling this Universe, It seemed perfectly Healthy but I saw this thing that would beat up Cthulu and take it's Milk Money. I felt a Mysterious cosmic force crawling inside me... It grew Stronger and Stronger and Stronger Still, til I climaxed and channeled the huge explosion in my wake to Convert this vast, seemingly endless universe into the 64,000,000,000,000 Meter man-cave I wallow in today, You may call it the Cosby Comet. And now, all that's Left is to pick up Alph and I need a quack team of Awesomexpiditioneers™ to do just that.
Jess Paltrivel, A creative young woman who won't listen to my direct orders at, like, all, as in she would rather watch me get bent. Her Sister Jade and bestie Maddie are not much better, Despite the Three having a pretty tight team all set to ship. I mean, C'mon, Muppets Plus Dimentio = A better Muppet Movie than Muppets Most Wanted.
And for this team, I also reeled in Six Puella Magi from Mitakihara on the condition that I sell this thing to Ignorant Disney Executives, There is a bunch of things to hide, I don't need to mention a bunch being a unit of measurement again, now, don't I?
So here I am, Biding my Time, waiting for the main event, I asked Chrom at his wedding to assist us once we finally reach the Climax and we finally re-unite with Alph. In the meantime, I am more than Eager to catch up on the Shenanigans that ensued while I was out... Including Nintendo's Sinking Ship; the Wii U, Capcom's Quest for Bankruptcy, The Holy Quintet's Latest Addition Nagisa, Legend of Korra Season 2, Disney's Animated Smash Hit Frozen...
THiN CRUST: Capcom's Broke, Nintendo's a must-have again, The Doc turned 50 and I have a huge collection of Toys I gotta show my Incredible Crew. Maybe I could get some respect or appreciation from a Paltrivel Sister or Two? But It ain't Just Infinity Bases that are lighting up On the Next Episode of NiGo Taxi: "A Mysterious Light in the Sky" See You in the Battlefield.
RTN: RebelTaxi Loves Disney Infinity (A Mysterious Light in the Sky)
Admit it, You wanted Pan-Sempai to touch this since the day It was announced! *We didn't Necessarily-* All things considered, It's a bit of a wild ride through the Highly ambitious and so far Highly Successful Disney Infinity Franchise. It has the potential to become it's own console, With Individual games called 'Playsets' taking characters from each franchise on an adventure. But the real icing on the cake is the main part of the experience, the Toy Box! See, these guys are not the real deal but Ailen Crystalline Robots called Plotworks that mostly Stem from Walt Disney's Imagination and his Trillion Dollar Legacy. The Toys you can get, both in the game and IRL, are amazing as always since this is Disney we're checking out, But there are some hangups to this nearly perfect game. Kids would dig the unpredictability Factor of the Toy Vault, Gamers would despise having to buy more of these Real life Figurines to grind enough spins out of em to clear out the Toy Vault as that's the only way you can get the Toy you need for whatever damn project you need to make.
Playsets
You may think you've picked up all the Toy Capsules in each of the campaigns called Playsets, But you are bound to miss a few, what with the lack of an in-game map to guide you. That is ultimately what dragged me kicking and screaming back into the Pirates of the Caribbean Playset inside the Starter Pack Piece. Here you plunder the high seas to high heaven and back to hell, Using your sword for breaking open treasure chests (Because Plastic), your ship and your greatest tool in pirating the greatest treasures you could ever find, the classic trick of the old timey-piratey trade: Torrent.
If causing harm to the global economy isn't your thing, why don't you try out protecting the world from metal balls instead? That's what the Incredibles playset's here to do. The best part is the variety in their signature moves, Pirates, Monsters and Cars are all the same, most of them have a boring shoulder charge, lame. Back on the Playset, Syndrome has risen from the armpits of hell to torment Metroville, the city that the Parr clan calls their home. They suit up as the Incredibles, Jack-Jack obviously sitting it out, to protect the city from Syndrome and his colleagues, The Hourder, Snoring Gloria, and a surprise appearence from Baron von Ruthless. Sure, they're just Townsfolk Costumes but at least we've got some idea as to what they look like.
The Last Playset in the Piece is Monsters University, It's Fear-It Week and notorious rival Fear Tech's first out of the gate, gunking up MU with banners, posters and the like. It's time to prank them back throughout the week, Collecting Pendants that unlock fancy new stuff along the way. The big thing you get out of this is the Fraternity Row and Paintball Gun.
But Wait, There's More!
Out of the Box, The Toy Box is the only place where Co-Op is possible as Playsets are restricted to only the characters from it's corresponding franchise... To engage in Co-Op in the Playsets. You need to buy up more! It's a good thing I Installed that mailbox then. As it turns out there are additional figure packs: The Sidekicks Pack, featuring Mrs. Incredible, Mike and Captain Hector Barbosa... Bit of A Stretch, But I'll roll with that. If you're feeling a bit Bad to the Bone today, I point you towards the Villain Pack that features Davy Jones, Syndrome, and Randall Boggs... Course, since we're getting a Monsters University Playset, the Randall we're getting, Randy as he likes to be called, is a bit nicer than the one in the original and seems a bit ticked off that he ended up in the Villain Pack in the first place. The kids Violet and Dash are the only two characters from the Incredibles Playset and the Starter Pack Playsets that don't appear on any character packs available at launch. And guess what, There's still more to dig into here.
Being the Cash Cow that it is, It was only Natural that Cars ends here, Adding Lightning McQueen and Holly Shiftwell Joining the Jamboree with Mater following suit in a Separate Package. The only thing that's more depressing that Pixar's Bland-tacularly Blatant Toy Line Movie got a playset before the likes of Peter Pan, Disney Princesses or Kingdom Hearts is that Franchesco Benovoli has to be introduced last, I know how he hates being late.
Rounding out the cast with a one buy wonder, The Lone Ranger Playset is the penultimate Playset that has been released as of this recording, The other being Toy Story in Space. You get the man himself and his Trusted Ally Tonto who dispite being a toy looks more like himself than Johnny Depp's Portrayal... Wonder how that turned out.
There are also these Power Discs sold in blind pairs for five bucks eaches. Blind meaning you can end up with fuckin' useless dupes which you could probably store to either trade off or sell off for around $56 which I'm more than willing to do BTW!
Wave II: It's A Trap
This turned out pretty good for an end result of John Lasseter Locking up Spyro to make sweet, sweet love. God, I hate those Ranting Robots for putting that line in my head. And the Best Part about it is We're Still Not Done! There's this Toy Story in Space Playset which is a fitting tribute to the franchise that started it all. I'll be sure to discuss it in full detail in a later side mission. There's also Jack Skellington, Rapunzel, Wreck-It Ralph, Vanellope, Anna and Elsa from Frozen, And an inevitable figurine of the very leader of the club that's made for you and me. There are two more waves of Power Discs going around, I have most of Wave One but very little of Wave Two, Like I only have the Discs from the Frozen Toy Box Pack. And there's still more coming, even after the Phineas and Ferb Toy Box Pack, Although It's good to see them get figurines, The Show itself seems to be winding down after second erection. I have my own Ideas for Infinity, A already wrangled up an artist to assist me in my Big, Big, Plans. Today, Infinity... Tomorrow, Disneyland New England!
- I await your Buyout.
Let's see, We've Got Phineas, Agent P, Two Power Discs... Hey, Where's Ferb?
News: Capcom
Side Mission: TOY STORY IN SPACE
'Oh, You suck, Google!' The Youtube Evacuation Installation Tape
Welcome to 'Oh, You suck, Google!' The Youtube Evacuation Installation Tape.
Now remove all characters from the Old House starting with the Toy Box Characters.
Now Toy Story and Lone Ranger, Remove Tonto, John, Jessie, Buzz, and Woody
Next we will do Cars, Remove Franchesco, Holley, Mater and Lightning
Now Monsters, Remove Randall, James and Mike.
Next will be Pirates, Remove Davy Jones, Captain Jack Sparrow, Then H-Bar.
And now to Remove The Incredibles, Remove Dash, Violet, Syndrome, Mrs. Incredible and Mr. Incredible.
Finally the Critics, These will be the last Characters you Remove as they will
Audition
Wanted: A Couple of Abridgers who'd be willing to voice characters from Cyberteam in Akihabara. We need Specific Voices for a few Divas, Such as Aphrodite being the Major! We also want a few Weirdies to join the Party so Click the Vid-Responce button and Show us what you got.
Homework
My Mecha
The name 'Robotics' could eventually be a racist term for science should fruity little Mechs like these come into mass production. Say hello to Project Aiko, once she's completed, She will do all the cooking, cleaning, and sixty-eight other chores that would allow them to take care of the elderly and severely brain-dead. Production started in 2007 after her creator, Le Trung, got a major boost of motivation in the form of Chobits, A Japanese anime adapted from a CLAMP manga book, Slag you not. Since then her construction and maintenance has been funded on his own dime He has taken out credit cards and loans, sold his car and spent his life savings on perfecting the machine - at a cost so far of £14,000. As you can see, he is more than open to find some investors for this project. The donations that you send over will go towards new motors, sensors and mainboards to design Aiko’s arms and legs, thus fulfilling his lifelong dream of enabling Aiko to walk and and do other house chores. There is always room for improvement, even when people say that it is perfect: "If we make something perfect, then we have failed. New Innovation comes from imagination, inspiration, and fixing our mistakes". (Le Trung, Official Website) But What really makes Aiko Tick? Is she an Idea worth investing time and money into?
Built upon a newfangled piece of software he calls the Biometric Robot Artificial Intelligence Neural System (BRAINS) which is constantly being improved as time goes on, Aiko can recognise up to 300 different faces per second, read newspapers, check the weather, distinguish between different medicines and can even tell you when your flight will arrive or leave the airport. Trung also claims that due to an array of sensors, Aiko can also function as an intimate companion. But as of this writing, The Original Robot herself is still a virgin and has never slept with a partner, not even her own creator. To make matters worse, without any motors for her legs, she is ultimately stuck in a wheelchair. Le Trung's plans for the future of Aiko beyond that wheelchair would offer the robot for public consumption at around $15,000-$17,000. He even plans to create a Robotic Idol with a ‘Project EVE’ of some sort. “Anyone who had any doubt that the future of humanoid robots would inevitably veer towards the seedy side need only look to the example of Le Trung and his fembot Aiko.” (Adario Strange, dvice.com) Truer words have never been said about a Robot of this Calibre. With her Versitility and updates to come, this proves to be a thing worth waiting for. Better Late than never, I suppose…