Rebel Taxi Nigo
From Accct Wiki
Gags
Because x________
Clips
- Of Course!
Unsorted Shows
Thin Crust Loves KINGDOM HEARTS (TheKHRP)
<Pan Pizza: The Coach>
Pan Pizza: Okay, So what in godbear's name has you believing that you're Rebel Taxi Material?
<Thin Crust: Rookie of the Year>
Thin Crust: Well, I've got this Idea for a video segment It's called the 'Waifu of the Day'.
Pan Pizza: The What?
Thin Crust: My friend this is where I Select an Image of a chick that Turns me on rock hard and then Immortalise it on my Wall!
Pan Pizza: Do you have an Example of this new gag?
Thin Crust: Quite, do you know why they're going for a prequel instead of a sequel...
Pan Pizza: I'm sure they have a legitamate reason fo-(sees the Waifu) Ohh...Ohhhhhh!!! AW! YES!
Thin Crust: Think she's a better Idea than Monsters University...
Pan Pizza: Hell to the Yes!
Thin Crust: Thank you, As for my Segment Idea, Try this on for Size!
(Intro)
Pan Pizza: Ooohh... Pirated, I like that part in ya.
Thin Crust: And what do ya think of the set?
Pan Pizza: <Your Opinion of the Set>
Thin Crust: Alright, We've got a Show to do so let's get right to it. You and Me are gonna roll on through the entire Seeker of Darkness Saga for the Project, Run down an Elaborate Analysis of each of the Games and get into details of what we want to see. We add the Characters to our boster board that we've got there and plan out our story with you guys the fans. The first thing we gotta do is this... (drops the Xehanort Saga in the Garbage) with that said, lets dig into the leftovers.
(1-Davis Family, Bonnie Anderson)
Pan Pizza: uhhhh... Toy Story?
Thin Crust: yep.
Pan Pizza: the first ever CGI feature length film
Thin Crust: yep.
Pan Pizza: What? Are ya pulling my leg or somthin... huh?
Thin Crust: No Sempai, I'm ensuring Kingdom Hearts III becomes the first ever Interactive Motion Picture
Pan Pizza: What?
Thin Crust: It's a dream of mine... I'd be delighted to see this dream realised.
Pan Pizza: Yeah, Nobody Cares so... Why them?
Thin Crust: Why do I think the Davis clan and Bonnie Anderson are Important Characters? Well, in this story I'm setting up, Terra is Andy's Older Brother and Eraqus is the Father.
Step 1: birth by sleep
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Next is Vanitas, a creepy mofo who spawns these Unversed creatures all over place.
And finally, There's Master Anthony Brian Xehanort. He's more or less a good guy who will ultimately reboot the franchise without that Rich Bitch Destiny Taking the wheel. He knows for a fact that nopony can die in this kind of Franchise, just ask Nomura!
Step 2: Kingdom Hearts
And this is where we get the Sora, Riku and Kairi we've come to know. Let's Add the Toys to our Box here
Step 3: Chain of Memories
Step 4: 358/2 Days
Step 5: Kingdom Hearts II
Step 6: coded
Step 7: Dream Drop Distance
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And Reibranz makes it all complete! Give him a round of applause, for he's the last character we're gonna get in the games so far! Let us Cinnabrate!
To The Future (KHRP Game)
RebelTaxi NiGo Season 2 (How I Spent my Supper Vacation)
Intro
It's been one shell of a ride for my sempai and my comrade, A Gurren-Lagann Review, an interview with Maxwell Atoms, A subscription from one of our least enjoyable people... It's been a blast to see it unfold, But now's the time to ask: Doof, where have you been? Well, Now I'm ready to tell ya! Welcome, my friends, to Season 2.
Piñata Island
Poké-Paradise
<FE:A Country>
During Alph's time in the Pokémon world, I was with my Dragonauge... or at least, the young lady who used to be my Dragonauge...
Epilogue
Eventually, We reunited at another universe altogether. There was coffee as we saw a Curious Comet pass by which would be refined into the Cosby Comet you see before you by me and Deep Dish using a mysterious power embued upon us by a nebula of some sort. I think it gave the last guy cancer...
The Downfall of CAPCOM
Nintendo has gotten itself out of its sales slump when it comes to the Wii U... for now at least... But there's one target that I mentioned that may get Disney's Foot in the Door when it comes to the Japanese Market and, you guessed it, taking over the world.
<Cue Capcom clip>
But what can you do with a company as troubled as Capcom. Well for starters, we can breathe new life into Megaman since the last Megaman Game was a just a fanmade crossover with Street Fighter. Let's face it we did not expect the latest Megaman to come from Goddamn Box Art, Like, Dude, that may seem funny to some people but to the fans who trusted you to put Megaman in the Game, That's a dangerously low blow, dude!
Moving on to Dead Rising, the latest notable franchise on our list. The timeline and mythos now spans more than a Decade with it's third Installment, I see a bottle of Nerd Rage in your future.
Devil May Cry, badass hack n' slash adventure. Recently suffered just because the story was rebooted in a vain attempt to appeal to western audiences, although Raptor News has some potential. Not Disney's cup of tea but what can you do? Also unlikely to survive unscathed in the big Disney Buyout to come...
Resident Evil, A lesson from Don Bluth says: Children can take anything as long as there's a Happy Ending. You don't need to make it overly sappy, just have the goal of the game unsures that everybody lives, and that they're all in this Together, speaking of Sunday School Musical
Capcom Fighters are definitely a Packaged Deal, Especially when you count in the Capcom vs. Whatever Franchise, Which crosses over Street Fighter, Darkstalkers, All those Classic Capcom Fighters, even the other Capcom franchises out there and renders all deals to buy individual franchises entirely useless. I'm including Breath of Fire and Power Stone because I guess they're fighters, I dunno, I never even heard of 'em except for Power Stone for it is badass. According to a recent tweet from Yoshinoki Ono, the creator of Street Fighter, Capcom does not have enough resources to even port over Ultra Street Fighter 4, The money thing I get since they only have at most 152 million bucks left to spend, And they fired half their european staff. It's painfully obvious that Capcom's goin' Tits up in the months to come.
Bad Buisness Habits, Overreliance on bad DLC, Burying franchises, Milking only one franchise 'til it's bone dry, Needless to say, They're Screwed and you're in luck! Who's biting first, Midway, Arc, Dare I say... Disney? As you can tell by my collection of Disney Infinity Swag, The Answer is obvious.
Act now and you can relegate the very Management who got them into this mess to man the Ticket Booths at Tokyo Disneyland.
RebelTaxi Loves TURNER BROADCASTING (Donald Trump)
Pan Pizza: Welcome Back to Divorce Horse! If you are just joining us, Donald Trump needs to his Broadcasting Empire beyond Just the Apprentice.
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Thin Crust: Pan, We wish to negotiate some terms for Donald Trump.
RebelTaxi Hates STEVEN MOFFAT (#Trump4Who)
RebelTaxi Hates LET'S KILL HITLER (WtFaiz, River!?)
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The Doctor: Put him in the Cuboard.
Pan Pizza: What?
Pan Pizza: WHAT!? They have the oppritunity to explore a universe where World War Dos is freakin stopped and you shelve that plotline for-?
(Mels collapses)
Pan Pizza: Well, She was completely Pointless, Wasn't she...
Thin Crust: Actually...
Pan Pizza: Let's give a gihugic novelty hand to Mels the Most Pointless companion ever!
<Cue Party Scene from Wild Force>
The Doctor: We'll call your parents,
Mels:
<The same scene from Wild Force where everone stops partying>
Pan Pizza: *getting his pot out* huh?
Mels: Penny in the air...
Pan Pizza: Oh, no.
Mels: Penny Drops.
Pan Pizza: Thinny, Who names their kid "Mels".
Thin Crust: No one! It must be short for something like-
Mels: Melody.
The Doctor: You named your daughter... after your daughter.
Thin Crust:
RebelTaxi Hates THE WEDDING OF RIVER SONG (Isn't It All Pointless?)
RebelTaxi Hates THE DOCTOR, THE WIDOW AND THE WARDROBE (Androzani, What!?)
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It starts with a spaceship exploding at the hands of the Doctor-Wait! I'm gonna need some Doritos and Mountain Dew, It's pretty obvious that this episode's gonna rely solely on Rule of Cool here... The Doctor survives the noisy fall from space to the serface of Early 20th Century London through a fancy Impact Suit-Hold Up! This just isnt the Right Size Bag and Bottle for the Job...(The Bottle and bag are replaced with a 20 oz bottle and a family sized bag) ...What? I needed something a bit more potent...
However, seeing the Doctor not only survive, but making sounds, in the airless vacuum of space is ridiculous. Further, the Doctor should have burned up in the Earth’s atmosphere, or been splattered into smithereens by the force of impact. But, it’s Christmas, and for once, Steven Moffat tried to offer an explanation for his seeming plot hole, so I’m gonna let this one slide – even if said explanation (the Doctor is wearing an “impact suit” that is repairing his damaged body, which is why he cannot remove the helmet, thus hiding his face from Madge, and leading to the events of the episode) is a bit contrived.
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And Now, If you excuse me. I have a Six Hour Challenge to Run for Toonami and a Best Doctor Who Stories List to compile for the Campaign. And seeing as the Toonami Six Hour is Super Cereal because Cartoons, The Latter of the two (Pulls Snacks from under the Table) It's Gonna be all Your Fault! Pepsico Foodstuffs Wrapped in Kilbasa and Spicy Italian Sausages, Don't fail me now!
RebelTaxi Hates ASYLUM OF THE DALEKS (Just Cameos!?!)
Thin Crust: This Episode...Ugh!
Pan Pizza: What he's saying is... Ugh!
Both: It makes no... Gah!!!
Thin Crust: Asylum of the Daleks... I mean this is the lowest a Dalek story can possibly get, Lower than Destiny of the Daleks, Lower than Revalation, Evolution even! This thing looses to the one where a Dalek Rams a Guy up his Time Vortex to become...This!
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Pan Pizza: This is by far the Jumping the Shark Moment of all Dalek-kind, Ruining them for the rest of the series and I hope to christ that the Daleks are soon Retired after this episode because we cant handle what kind of re-establishment Moffat would have in Store for the Show.
Thin Crust: With a Plot made of Swiss Cheese and wasted opportunities aplenty, this is by far the worst season opener since Warriors of the Deep. If you know what that is from whatever source you heard it from, please go take a few minutes with us... (He and Pan Pizza stare into the Mirror in tears)
-Transition-
Thin Crust: Now do you understand why we need this Masterplan?
RebelTaxi Hates THE ANGELS TAKE MANHATTAN (Predictable)
For this episode Moffat should be bringing his A-Game. He would ensure that the Ponds' Exit from the Show is a worthwhile adventure and perk up those who still have faith in him after the total train wrecks he wrote beforehand...
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Ya know, This scene is not only pointless but it spoils the surprise you've got for Rory! Speaking of The boy who waited...
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Ya see that tombstone that's over there If anyone in the audience does not see this thing being important later allow me to get you a number for a good psychiatrist.
---
(Bwaaaaa! Bwa-Bwaaa-Bwaaa!)
Rory begs the Doc- Wait, Ya Know what? I'm not even gonna call him that! Rory Begs Shinji the Slinky to try and fix this but Shinji the Slinky reminds him of fixed time. My god I can't believe I Live in a Universe where this is acctually Possible
Rory Decides to Commit Suicide to in order to change his future and cause a paradox against fixed time. He assures Amy that he could be ressurected and Joins him just as the Shinji the Slinky
(Bwaaaaa! Bwa-Bwaaa-Bwaaa!)
Thin Crust: See, The reason why we saw them get zapped right in front of their eyes which we commonfolk use to...you know, See Them... is Because Karen Gillan has made her desision about leaving the show Final!
Pan Pizza: So the Doc- Ya know what, I'm not even gonna call him that <Insert Insult name>
RebelTaxi Hates THE SNOWMEN (Old Monster Desecration)
I think I get it now, Moffat's Secret! I get why Blink didn't Focus on The Doctor and his companion at the time Martha Jones. I understand why Donna Noble was Trapped inside the Data Core away from the Doctor, I actually get the divorce subplot! River Song, Amelia Williams and Clara Ozwin Ozwald are all gimmick added to the show to keep < Rose Tyler > The Girl who Waited, The Doctor's quot-unquot "Wife", and now... the girl who died twice. They're merely gimmick to keep Rose around Moffat figured out how to cheat the system and let that bitch < Regeneraaaaaaate! >
Now do you see why this dickhole must be evacuated from the franchise...It's the Lucas Effect, he rocked then but he blows now...
RebelTaxi Hates THE BELLS OF SAINT JOHN (Frankenstory)
Hey, kids. Let's play Steven Moffat Bingo! Since we all know how ball-lickingly bad he's gotten at writing, I decided to create this Bingo Card with every element from Moffat's other stories each having a shot of an alcoholic beverage to help calm your nerves. There's a lot of contribance to watch and alot of Booze to Drink so let's take a look at The Bells of Saint John.
In the Prequel, The Doctor Encounters Clara as a little Girl...
It's bad enough when I have to take a shot this early, now Moffat's soiled one of Amy's few defining gimmicks! (Takes a shot)
The plot's kind of like the Idiot's Lantern, y'know the 2012 Olympics? As we see a warning from the Internet except the members of said internet is trapped with their computer webcam or something...God! A Blink reference, really? Your award winning story from when he didn't suck is getting shoehorned into this mess. Sorry, Steve-O... that's another shot against you. (takes a shot) Is copying your own work plagerism or fetish...
And that was the Bells of St John. (gets cross-eyed) Nope, need a minute. < Emergency Stomach Pump Session > it's shit! It plagiarised a story we have already seen in the idiots lantern, it spits in the face of River Song by all the flirting on screen with Clara, and the villains were a concept more suited for a 90s comic script for the Tick. And considering how many times actors return to Dr Who as new and more plot integral characters (the Brigadier, Gwen Cooper, Martha Jones, etc.) I don't really feel the impact of THIS COMPANION who died twice... Hell even Colin Baker was brought back to be the DOCTOR!!! the actress playing Oswin then goes on to play a character called Clara... I don't see a big deal to start bringing this up now. Also if was first named Oswin in her first life, then Clara in her second life, why is she Clara again? Her character concept is a plot hole in of itself...!!
RebelTaxi Hates THE NAME OF THE DOCTOR (OMGWTFGENIUS!)
This was Balls, This entire series of Doctor Who was flat-out Chicken Balls. To watch Moffat's earlier work especially Curse of Fatal Death knowing the shit I know now is just dissapointing. To even look at Steven Moffat's Face since the whole dang season has passed is painful to me. It is why I use the Image of Sayaka to represent him. She delt with stress and fell into darkness, Just like Moffat but at least she wasnt aware of what Octavia Von Sekkendoff has done in her existance.
Moffat has Made every story of series 7 its own blockbuster. And Moffat's Stories as of Late have been known for Angering the Fanbase in Three Ways, Jumping the Shark, Nuking the Fridge and Frying the Coke.
And the Moffat Era has been Very Crappy Thus Far with Walking Gimmicks, Inconsistant Time Lords and Plot Holes the size of the Grand Canyon but we have yet to experience the big moment series seven has been building up towards, The Moment Doctor Who Fries the Coke! I dont think It's gonna happen here tonight and Moffat's acctually being clever for -What's this?
Wait a minute, this could be it. The Doctor seems to be swallowing his pride.
He's standing there sadly...
Could this be the Frying the Coke Moment
Yes! Yes!
And we're safe! They did not reveal the Doctor's Name at all, and thank god. Cause that could have fried the coke big time.
Oh, dear... The Shark Chart's off the scale...
And there it goes, It hit the Highest Setting of Jumping the Shark, Coming Back to Shoot in the Nads, Rape it, Eat it's flesh, consume it soul, mount it's head on the wall and rinsing and repeating the process on twelve other goddamn sharks just to be safe! Johnny Hurt is living proof that Doctor Who Needs Saving! So keep tweeting the Hashtag #DisneyWho to ensure that No further Jumping the Shark Moments Occur and the Fans Have a say in the Production of the Franchise.
RebelTaxi Hates THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR (TYLER!)
You know what, I take it all back... Everything I said about... 'Mels' and the Rose Tyler Gimmick-Clones... All of it... I take everything back... Because I knew somehow it was gonna get worse...
and worse...
and worse...
and worse...
and worse...
and God-Jeaaabust! I'm sure you can forgive me for the hell I raised, Right Whoniverse... You're not gonna ruin the Anniversary for everyone right? Please... :(
And that was Day of the Doctor, Oh my christ... That certainly was a Wild Ride though Space and Time.
RebelTaxi Hates THE FALL OF THE ELEVENTH (Pray for Petey)
Poor Matt Smith. He's proven to be one of the most Magnificent Actors to play the Doctor. He has had a stellar freshman year, but was screwed into a rather iffy sophamore year, an absolutely retarded junior year and a rather confusing Senior Year. But it all has to end somewhere and what better way to Graduate than in the confines of a Christmas Special. I kinda wanna see the Doctor Who christmas specials on the Isle of Misfit Christmas Specials on Platypus Comix. I also wanna see a fourth Policy Trailer Jamboree.
RebelTaxi Hates GOSEI SENTAI AKIBARANGER (Humiliation)
The Seventeenth Super Sentai, the one that was snubbed by it's American cousin Power Rangers and for good reason. We're taking a look at Gosei Senta-I F**king Hate Akibaranger!
5 reasons why TOEI must dump SABAN BRANDS
Prologue
Greetings, People of Youtube.
5: Greed
Budget Restraints.
- huh*
What this means is: they can choose to do just about anything to save some money for their bottom line.
- Huh*
4: The "Power Ups"
So, the nerdy Noah transforms into the badass Gokai Blue? And Jake into Green is kinda fitting, KINDA. Because Jake is the jokester, but he's not clumsy... Right, Don?
First off, A "Power Up" should enhance the look and the abilities of the current rangers. Second, Why do they have to change suits only to change to another suit? Third, Kibaranger with the Zyurangers pretty much worked out 'cuz they both have bestial motifs (dinosaurs for Zyuranger, mythical beasts for Dairanger). But Gokai Silver with the Goseigers? The pirate motif isn't really anywhere near to the angel motif... And the Main Problem, This version of powering up diminishes the well designed suits of the Gokaiger and essentially skips a full group of heroes! Henceforth, I Hereby Propose a new Law for adapting Power Ranger Teams to prevent this sheer lazyness, All Ranger Teams must be their Own Seperate Entity. I notice the Zordon Era has a special Problem. Dont worry, the Masterplan in this Bright Red Folder Donated from an Anonymous source has all the Answers. And Yes, This TARDIS Blue Folder also has a masterplan that will also be Important.
It's Funny because Toei Explicitly demanded that no Sentai shall be skipped, the fact that Saban Found this Loophole Agri-vates the Toku Faithful to no end.
3: Nickelodeon's Greed
Here's that first mistake that screwed everything up for fandom. I ran into a little kid in a Power Rangers T-Shirt one time at my Local Wal*Mart and said to me, "Where are the Power Rangers? Where did the go?" Guess which Red Ranger I spotted on said shirt, Jaden Shiba! I directed him to the local TV Tropes where he can get learned about The franchise beyond the Samurai Rangers and he would be humiliated and publicly insulted by Local Veterans of the Power Rangers Fandom. This is what two consecutive Twenty-Episode Seasons do to our generation. Why would they order only twenty episodes when clearly there's more than double that amount in Stock Footage. I'll give you a hint, Who's Bright Yellow, Peaked with a Movie, and Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea. And that's not all el orange couch has done to add insult to injury, We also can also blame it for the Dissapearence of Power Rangers from Vortexx. Oh, Spongebob, Ruining the lives of his neighbors one day at a time.
2: Disney's Changed
And now, we have a new segment on the Show called < Kid-Vid! Slowly Dying, but still sorta okay > In 2001, they were given a choice, Ultimately Haim only wanted a huge pile of money to further his political goals and so he handed over the whole dang Ship to Buena Vista, One of the Walt Disney Company's Corporate Lap Dogs. We could have seen much better seasons in the Kalish Era, SPD would have been Epic, Mystic Force would have been Magestic, Operation Overdrive...would have been Watchable! But no, they Watered it down with explosions and Censorship, only letting up just so they could stuff it in the cupboard that they called ABC Kids.
But that's the thing with Disney, they didn't buy Saban for Saban. They Bought It for ABC Family, Everything Else they got was Junk to lock away into the vault, Even the Rangers! It was only saved from the void of obscurity by the Suggestion to film their Series in New Zealand where they Ironically ban Power Rangers, I might add. And to Top it all off, this half-hearted purchase became the catalyst for Michael Eisener's Removal from Office and the beginning of Iger's reign in the Magic Kingdom. If they were to give Power Rangers a Second Chance with Bob in control, They would welcome the franchise back with open arms and a clearer, Kalish-Free head.
1: Gangnam Girls
If the Internet is whining about how what the name would be applied to then you're officially Ruined Forever. The Name "Gangnam Girls" is More Freakin' Dated than a Transformer with an Afro, like, is it a disco ball? er... how do you transform with that thing? Huh? You'd think It would be one of those 4Kids-type dubs with that specific kind of Suck but clearly nothing good can come of their works when the name alone has the potential to doom the anime industry in America. Goodbye, Toonami ...again: Hello, World War III. I've said it before in the much less mature first draft of this video. Laziness can be excused, World-Threatening Racism cannot. The fact that we live in a world where the assumption that Asians are all the same could trigger the end of aforementioned world should be some cause for alarm. But if this Abomination comes in to ruin our day, We're History. Obviously something is wrong with the brilliant men who recruited five fantastic actors to portray that one group of Courageous Teenagers with additude since the day Murdoch left the Blokes at Buena Vista to gunt up his fridge and burn his house down with lemons, Because their age and the age of the rest of the fine folk at Saban Brands is as obvious as it can get with Gangnam Girls.
Epilogue
And those are my Five Problems with Saban Brands, But there is some good news, If you didn't hear me back with the Power Up Segment, A good fellow has handed me a Masterplan for Funimation should they get Motivation from the Fans and Rider Kick The 64-year-old virgins at Saban Brands back into the Nightosphere whence it came.
Cartoon Network Pilots
Scedule
Mars Safari fizzles out at 12
My Science Project disgusts the childrens at 12:15
Mystery Roomies echoes an old friend at 12:30
Steven Universe shows it's stripes at 12:45
Clarence drags us down at 1
Lakeford County Turbo picks us back up again at 1:15
Wolf's Rain sinks it's teeth into the 1:30 slot.
Super Pig slips through the cracks at 2
We'll top it all off with Fanime Selects at 2:30
--
Six Hours that are anything but wasted.
South Park Kickstarter
Do you like nickelodeon? Well, Have we got an Idea for you, a Roast of the first kids network from your favorite white trash redneck mountain town South Park! The Laziness and Racism of Saban, Overreliance on Spongebob, good shows being forgotten by the network and so much more will be covered by this episode. The title of the episode: Super Megasuck, But we need your help to make it happen. If you donate some money to fund this special episode of South Park or if you Tweet the hashtag #SuperMegasuck to Trey and Matt's Twitter Accounts and other Twittermen with strong ties to South Park and get the guys to actually acknowledge this movement, we could see a true game changer for Nick. I dont expect to see this be a success but if it ends up raising the $64,000 needed for a single episode, I will surely be amazed. I'll be doing extra incentives for this project, $86,000 - Tara Strong as Trini, The Original Yellow Power Ranger, as in the one with the vacant role, to sum up, she'll have a voice similar to Twilight Sparkle and Illana from Sym-biotic Titan as that's far closer to Trini than whover Saban Picked up for the show. $100,000 - Live Broadcasting not just on Comedy Central, but also on Nickelodeon where the sponge sleeps... Speaking of the Sponge, $128,000: Tom Kenny and company join the jamboree
September 2013
Newcomer: DEEP DiSH
Arrival
EyEyEyEyEy! Which way do I go so that I can reach my home of-
DEEP DiSH: Who are you and what the Faiz are you doing in my grandma's TV?
Your Grandma's TV? Heh... I Applaud the RVT reference but...Your Grandma's TV?
DEEP DiSH: Yeah, I used to have this thing where I crashed at my grandma's place...Doin' it for old times sake so shut up!
Well, I won't till you point me to the way home, I got stuck in California by those Esquire Network bastards and I've been traveling ever since I picked up a few souvenirs from Texas as evidenced by my location in the previous review shown here.
DEEP DiSH: Wait, you're an Internet Critic?
Proud driver of the Rebel Taxi NiG0!
DEEP DiSH: How come I never heard of you?
Because I only have a subscriber headcount in the early triple digits...
DEEP DiSH: And you sure you can get me on That Guy with the Glasses.com?
I hope to get all the RT Bozos onto That Guy with the Glasses!
DEEP DiSH: How so? On that Inked Reality division they think they're gonna make?
Maybe!
DEEP DiSH: Yeah, guess it's better than nuthin'...
Yeah, If my Cinemark review doesn't get me on Pan's Good Side then the whole TGWTG business certainly-(sniffs) I sense a Disturbance in the force...and it coming from- Are you the DEEP DiSH guy I've been courting to add to my crew?
DEEP DiSH: You courted to join your crew, and it was unsuccessful 'til you managed to show up here with your magic trick. How'd you do that?
Well, I convert my body into electrical energy and I have to find a screen to stay on before I fizzle out of biomass and die so I usually recharge on any electrical gadget with a screen. That was where your Grandma's TV Screen came into the Picture! By the way for every state I made a video in, I pick up a few souvenirs so I hope you can carry them over.
DEEP DiSH: Well, I do all the Hard Work so... will do.
The Downfall of Nintendo (#DInACE)
Intro
This is going to be my most insightful video ever because I have a lot to say on this matter, I love Nintendo and I hope it'll stick around for 100 more years... But it won't unless we have some change upstairs, We're aiming to Kill the Beast ...metaphorically!
Animal Crossing: New Leaf
If you think Animal Crossing New Leaf is a satisfactory Game for the 3DS Lineup, you are sadly mistaken. Here's a Dissatisfied Customer who wants change in Nintendo's Kingdom in terms of her Animal Crossing adventures
The game was fun at the beginning when trying to unlock all the different shops and upgrading my house but once I caught or dug up everything, once all the shops were made, the game just got.... boring. Repetitive. Dull. I get there are people who like this game and I'm sure they probably still like it but I need more substance in the long run. I can't constantly play a game where I only get a few rewards of holidays and such threw out the year to make me want to keep playing. If this had more to do like mini games or some small manner of monster combat like if it was set in an RPG Fantasy world, it would be a lot more fun. As it is, its not my thing.
She Demolished her Town on a tuesday. Sad, All too sad...
Wii U Woes
You wanna know how many Wii U consoles have been sold so far... For the Chrystler, You already know this by now. I would love for Nintendo to make Mario games forever, but I also want the Wii U to be more than my Mario, Kirby or “Insert classic Nintendo character name here” console. I could quite honestly pop four AAs in my (still-working!) original Game Boy for that. I’m not the only one. Times have been tough for Nintendo. The company has been particularly hard hit by the rise of mobile games, which largely appeal to the same kind of lighthearted gamers as Nintendo titles. Comparisons to Sega, which had to switch from being a hardware company to a publisher after poor sales, are everywhere, especially after the company confirmed this week to GamesIndustry.biz that it’s selling the Wii U at a loss.
It's Current offering is Pikmin 3 and Let's face it, It isnt my cup of tea nor is it your. If I'm wrong and It is your cup of tea, I apoligize and more power to ya. But do we really want a new alliteration of Mario Kart or Smash Bros. Especially since all that's been goin' down upstairs. Games like The Wonderful 101, which was developed by Platinum Games and will be published by Nintendo, were great in demos. Nintendo’s also working to make using Wii U’s Game Pad controller a more integral part of the game, rather than the way it’s mostly been used up to this point, which is basically as a more convenient place to keep a map. And they're hoping to create a new franchise by aformentioned Mario Kart 8, That's a change that promises to get them back to Nintendo-like profits by 2014... That is, if it is in fact a new franchise...
Out of Touch with the Internet
Nintendo didn't want Smash to be at EVO at all, and the news that the broadcast was canceled came after a compromise with the EVO officials to at least allow the tournament to take place without the stream. Once the internet found out about this, the negative outcry was so great that Nintendo allowed the game to be streamed.
"Games, Not Art"
Star Fox Adventures is the result of this trope. Originally, the game was to be called Dinosaur Planet and had no ties whatsoever with the Star Fox franchise. Krystal and a male fox were the main characters. But since Nintendo was behind schedule with a Star Fox sequel, they forced Rare into changing the plot and characters around. The male fox was axed, Krystal was aged up and became the Distressed Damsel, and Fox McCloud became the hero of a game that had little to do with what he does best: flying around in space and blasting bad guys. Suffice to say many fans of the franchise still hate this game — even though it's not a bad game per se. But the meddling didn't stop at the concept phase. A rushed release date caused what could have been a climactic boss fight with General Scales to be completely cut. But the cut is extremely unnatural and jarring: the fight actually has its own arena and intro cinematic, and the fight itself actually lasts a second or two before it gets called off, and the player is left confused and wanting.
Super Mario Galaxy had a story built around the game that didn't interfere with the gameplay and gave players an insight on Rosalina's history. Most players liked the concept. However, when the developers tried to do it again for Super Mario Galaxy 2, Shigeru Miyamoto himself stepped in and wanted the story aspect to be scrapped because he wanted the game to be more focused on the gameplay itself like the NES games had done.
If that's not enough, He did it again with Paper Mario Sticker Star, saying a story wasn't needed (even though the RPG games have always been more story-based than the platformers) and requesting that they only use existing Mario characters rather than coming up with new ones. He also felt the game played too much like Thousand Year Door, which led to the battle system being completely revamped. Unfortunately, after the Base Breaking Super Paper Mario, many fans were hoping for a game that returned to the style of the first two games, so Sticker Star was dismissed by us, the fans.
Even the Zelda series has been victim of Miyamoto's story-phobia. Ever since Ocarina Of Time, the developers have tried to include more complex and detailed stories, only to be forced to stop and simplify the plot, even excluding major plot points (the whole point of the story of Four Swords Adventures was being the backstory of A Link To The Past, an idea that had to be scrapped, with the final product taking place sometime after Twilight Princess in the game's timeline (in the Child Link timeline branch) and having nothing to do with A Link to the Past (which is in a completely different timeline branch), which caused the series to have an even more convoluted timeline. Link's Crossbow Training is probably the most tragic example: the developers wanted to develop a full-fledged, epic Zelda game that would be to Twilight Princess what Majora's Mask is to Ocarina of Time, but Miyamoto forbid them from including a epic story—or a story of any sorts, bosses (sans a single one that the developers were allowed to put in after fighting for it), or large and immersive stages. This resulted in what's widely considered the weakest installment in the series (not counting the licensed CD-i games) both by fans and critics alike. Also, because of people uploading the Subspace Emissary cutscenes from Super Smash Bros. Brawl onto the internet, there will be no story cutscenes in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS.
There were many Franchises that were aborted for their Icons. There was a game "Fluff's Yarn", starred a totally new character, Fluff. When the game didn't seem to be turning out very well, Nintendo suggested turning it into a Kirby game which we all know as "Kirby's Epic Yarn" and if that's not enough, Kid Icarus Uprising originally wasn't planned to have anything to do with the Kid Icarus series. Nintendo and Sakurai were just working on a Nintendo 3DS action game involving sky and land combat when they suddenly realized that Pit would be the perfect character for such a title. And once upon a time, an original fighting game with new characters by the name "Dragon King" was in the works. When they brought in Sakurai, he knew that fighting games at the time did not sell very well, he had the idea of using Nintendo characters. That Idea became the Super Smash Bros. Franchise... <Let it Sink in...>
Iwata carefully explained his position on development and Nintendo's role as an entertainment company. Saying that Nintendo makes Games, and that Video Games are not Art. As you can see, He's flipping retarded and he must be destroyed, at all costs. I plan to organize a little resistance movement called the Disney Infinity Allegence Committee of Exploitation or DInACE for short. We plan to hurt your bottom line not because we dispise the folks who rescued the gaming industry. Of course not, we just want you to get better!
<TOM explains Criticism>
And since Iwata-san cant take criticisim we must excrute him from his post and there is only one man to do it... or rather, one mouse.
That's Right, If it isnt obvious by the Acronym, We here at project DInACE Aim to have the Walt Disney Company perchase Nintendo so that they can:
- Remove Iwata from the Company and get some new blood up in management
- Have Disney start a Japanese Branch that will begin the Aquisition of a grocery list of Japanese Studios
- Have Nintendo rise from the ashes of corporate cynacism and make commercially viable games again!
Phase One: The Resistance
The first thing we have to do here is to redirect all Nintendo-Based Investments to Disney Infinity, hitting Nintendo where it hurts. We all accept trading in Nintendo Stocks for Disney Stocks, Here's the Current Exchange Rate as of this Video.
- Disney: $ 63.96
- Nintendo: $ 15.83
- Stock Rate: Around Four
Be sure to check every stinkin' day, the more Nintendo stocks you sell, the lower it's stock prices are gonna be. Back to Disney Infinity, Ranting Robots Bleep and Bloop explain how to get rid of that pesky Wii U fund.
<Disney Infinity Costs>
There are also Power Discs sold in blind packs for around five bucks eaches so boom! The emptied carcass of your entire Wii U Fund burninated one disc at a time. More figures and discs will be coming down the pipe and there are even retailers dealing out exclusive toys for this thing so buy the smeg out of this game, say it's for your kids, bring your actual kids for bonus points, Just buy into this great game because let's face it:
<Infinity Cash Cow>
You can also resist by going to Magic Kingdom Hearts, a special event at Walt Disney World's Not Quite Scary Halloween Party, specifically for fans of other ongoing Disney crossover franchise Kingdom Hearts. So yeah, Neither me nor Deep Dish will be attending for we have our own business to attend to. But we'll do a monthly DInACE Direct where we here at Rebel Taxi give you Information that shall Aid DInACE...Directly. Expect a few special guests from time to time as we dive into the Derp of Iwata San's mind and rescue Nintendo. It'll be greatly appreciated if any one of us were to star in and co-write an episode of South Park, It'll give us some exposure as to who we are and why we will not tone it down...
Phase Two: The Offer
Iwata has stated he'll try to get the company back to Nintendo-like profits by 2014. So if we foil his promise then he'll have to cave in to our demands, It'll take months for the deal to become legally stable so yes, you guys can still have your Kingdom Hearts III...I Hope. We're aiming for a $6.4 Billion dollar deal both in Cash and Disney stocks like in the Lucasfilm Deal and it must have Iwata leaving the company to move on to crack $#!- and I know the perfect place where you can stay when the deal happens... <Hobo Joe>
Step Three: The Rebuild
So now that Disney owns Nintendo, what happens now to all it's assets and properties? Simple, we flat out port 'em over to our ultimate tool that saved the day, Disney Infinity! We get Avalanche to develop a Developer's Kit for their game and ship them to All the 1st and 2nd Party Developers Nintendo owns and relegate them to Disney Infinity because they'd be better off making figurines than developing for an obviously outdated console they've been selling at a loss since it's launch day. I have a Masterplan for all Nintendo Properties should they go through with the big deal. After Nintendo finishes it's final farewell to the Console Market, It will be developing Playsets for Mario and two tastes of the Zelda Franchise (Ocarina and Wind Waker) Intelligent Systems will cook up Playsets for each country in Fire Emblem alongside a better Paper Mario Game. Hal will develop Kirby and Ice Climbers Playsets with Project Sora helping out whilst it Develops a Kid Icarus Playset alongside Smash Bros. for Infinity. Retro Studios would develop Metroid and Donkey Kong Country Playsets, Game Freak has six regions of Pokémon to port over as well as a Possible Seventh to Ring in the new Tools. Speaking of which, The Pokémon Company can develop a Playset for Pokémon's Rumble and Mystery Dungeon Series. Mario Kart, Mario Party, Warioware, the list goes on. But when the well runs dry, We've got Toy Boxes to Polish and a big old treasure trove of stories to adapt for new Playsets and such.
Outro and Events
I would like to thank you for sitting through my evil scheme and I hope you guys can assist in the Events I have planned, There's Magic Kingdom Hearts in October just as I previously mentioned...Then the release of the X-Box One and PS4 will be an event we call "Deep Hurting" In we explain the evils of Nintendo in excruciating detail to Nintendo fans, what little they have left, and sway them to Playstation, X-Box, Mobile Games, PC, anything but Ninty and for every Major Release Nintendo's got in store, we have Boycotts set up too. Pokémon X and Y wll have 'Pistols for Pokémon' Mario 3D World will have 'Rehash Relief' because let's all agree on this one, It's just Mario 3D Land with more Catnip. The Wind Waker HD remake isn't gonna sell consoles so lets call this one 'Heroes of Gaming' in honor of the one true hero of time! And I am afraid that 'The Smashtacular Battle' will be a Super Smash Bros. boycott and there's also a Mario Kart Boycott called 'Sidetracked' and the real punch to the nads here will be 'Occupy Hyrule'. Now that I have officially ruined the night <Awolnation - Kill Your Heroes> and you guys can join said fight not just with Disney Infinity but also with these T-Shirts I plan to make for each occasion. If you love Nintendo and think it could be better then hop aboard Rebel Taxi vs. Nintendo bandwagon and put Iwata-san back in his place!
