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5 reasons why TOEI must dump SABAN BRANDS

Prologue

Greetings, People of Youtube.

5: Greed

Budget Restraints.

huh*

What this means is: they can choose to do just about anything to save some money for their bottom line.

Huh*

4: The "Power Ups"

So, the nerdy Noah transforms into the badass Gokai Blue? And Jake into Green is kinda fitting, KINDA. Because Jake is the jokester, but he's not clumsy... Right, Don?

First off, A "Power Up" should enhance the look and the abilities of the current rangers. Second, Why do they have to change suits only to change to another suit? Third, Kibaranger with the Zyurangers pretty much worked out 'cuz they both have bestial motifs (dinosaurs for Zyuranger, mythical beasts for Dairanger). But Gokai Silver with the Goseigers? The pirate motif isn't really anywhere near to the angel motif... And the Main Problem, This version of powering up diminishes the well designed suits of the Gokaiger and essentially skips a full group of heroes! Henceforth, I Hereby Propose a new Law for adapting Power Ranger Teams to prevent this sheer lazyness, All Ranger Teams must be their Own Seperate Entity. I notice the Zordon Era has a special Problem. Dont worry, the Masterplan in this Bright Red Folder Donated from an Anonymous source has all the Answers. And Yes, This TARDIS Blue Folder also has a masterplan that will also be Important.

It's Funny because Toei Explicitly demanded that no Sentai shall be skipped, the fact that Saban Found this Loophole Agri-vates the Toku Faithful to no end.

3: Nickelodeon's Greed

Here's that first mistake that screwed everything up for fandom. I ran into a little kid in a Power Rangers T-Shirt one time at my Local Wal*Mart and said to me, "Where are the Power Rangers? Where did the go?" Guess which Red Ranger I spotted on said shirt, Jaden Shiba! I directed him to the local TV Tropes where he can get learned about The franchise beyond the Samurai Rangers and he would be humiliated and publicly insulted by Local Veterans of the Power Rangers Fandom. This is what two consecutive Twenty-Episode Seasons do to our generation. Why would they order only twenty episodes when clearly there's more than double that amount in Stock Footage. I'll give you a hint, Who's Bright Yellow, Peaked with a Movie, and Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea. And that's not all el orange couch has done to add insult to injury, We also can also blame it for the Dissapearence of Power Rangers from Vortexx. Oh, Spongebob, Ruining the lives of his neighbors one day at a time.

2: Disney's Changed

And now, we have a new segment on the Show called < Kid-Vid! Slowly Dying, but still sorta okay > In 2001, they were given a choice, Ultimately Haim only wanted a huge pile of money to further his political goals and so he handed over the whole dang Ship to Buena Vista, One of the Walt Disney Company's Corporate Lap Dogs. We could have seen much better seasons in the Kalish Era, SPD would have been Epic, Mystic Force would have been Magestic, Operation Overdrive...would have been Watchable! But no, they Watered it down with explosions and Censorship, only letting up just so they could stuff it in the cupboard that they called ABC Kids.

But that's the thing with Disney, they didn't buy Saban for Saban. They Bought It for ABC Family, Everything Else they got was Junk to lock away into the vault, Even the Rangers! It was only saved from the void of obscurity by the Suggestion to film their Series in New Zealand where they Ironically ban Power Rangers, I might add. And to Top it all off, this half-hearted purchase became the catalyst for Michael Eisener's Removal from Office and the beginning of Iger's reign in the Magic Kingdom. If they were to give Power Rangers a Second Chance with Bob in control, They would welcome the franchise back with open arms and a clearer, Kalish-Free head.

1: Gangnam Girls

If the Internet is whining about how what the name would be applied to then you're officially Ruined Forever. The Name "Gangnam Girls" is More Freakin' Dated than a Transformer with an Afro, like, is it a disco ball? er... how do you transform with that thing? Huh? You'd think It would be one of those 4Kids-type dubs with that specific kind of Suck but clearly nothing good can come of their works when the name alone has the potential to doom the anime industry in America. Goodbye, Toonami ...again: Hello, World War III. I've said it before in the much less mature first draft of this video. Laziness can be excused, World-Threatening Racism cannot. The fact that we live in a world where the assumption that Asians are all the same could trigger the end of aforementioned world should be some cause for alarm. But if this Abomination comes in to ruin our day, We're History. Obviously something is wrong with the brilliant men who recruited five fantastic actors to portray that one group of Courageous Teenagers with additude since the day Murdoch left the Blokes at Buena Vista to gunt up his fridge and burn his house down with lemons, Because their age and the age of the rest of the fine folk at Saban Brands is as obvious as it can get with Gangnam Girls.

Epilogue

And those are my Five Problems with Saban Brands, But there is some good news, If you didn't hear me back with the Power Up Segment, A good fellow has handed me a Masterplan for Funimation should they get Motivation from the Fans and Rider Kick The 64-year-old virgins at Saban Brands back into the Nightosphere whence it came.

Cartoon Network Pilots

Scedule

Mars Safari fizzles out at 12

My Science Project disgusts the childrens at 12:15

Mystery Roomies echoes an old friend at 12:30

Steven Universe shows it's stripes at 12:45

Clarence drags us down at 1

Lakeford County Turbo picks us back up again at 1:15

Wolf's Rain sinks it's teeth into the 1:30 slot.

Super Pig slips through the cracks at 2

We'll top it all off with Fanime Selects at 2:30

--

Six Hours that are anything but wasted.

South Park Kickstarter

Do you like nickelodeon? Well, Have we got an Idea for you, a Roast of the first kids network from your favorite white trash redneck mountain town South Park! The Laziness and Racism of Saban, Overreliance on Spongebob, good shows being forgotten by the network and so much more will be covered by this episode. The title of the episode: Super Megasuck, But we need your help to make it happen. If you donate some money to fund this special episode of South Park or if you Tweet the hashtag #SuperMegasuck to Trey and Matt's Twitter Accounts and other Twittermen with strong ties to South Park and get the guys to actually acknowledge this movement, we could see a true game changer for Nick. I dont expect to see this be a success but if it ends up raising the $64,000 needed for a single episode, I will surely be amazed. I'll be doing extra incentives for this project, $86,000 - Tara Strong as Trini, The Original Yellow Power Ranger, as in the one with the vacant role, to sum up, she'll have a voice similar to Twilight Sparkle and Illana from Sym-biotic Titan as that's far closer to Trini than whover Saban Picked up for the show. $100,000 - Live Broadcasting not just on Comedy Central, but also on Nickelodeon where the sponge sleeps... Speaking of the Sponge, $128,000: Tom Kenny and company join the jamboree

The Downfall of DInACE (#OccupyHyrule)

Intro

Wii U Woes

"Games, Not Art"

As you can see, Satoru Iwata is flipping retarded and he must be destroyed, at all costs.

Avoid Nintendo

To help illustrate phase one of our master plan, I have two perfectly dignified critics...Bleep and Bloop

Bloop: Why is it that every time we make that joke, we get vaporized by All Hail Retcon?

Rule of Cool #48, Keep the Negatives.

Bloop: That doesn't make any logical sense!

It don't have to make sense, we fly our motorcars in Space! Therefore, All questions we do not deem worthy are henceforth invalid!

Bleep: We shall have our vengeance yet.

Oh, and I'll be waiting, and could you give us the lowdown on A little something we'd like to call Disney Infinity.

So the starter Pack's worth $75, Sidekick and Villain packs cost $35 eaches, putting them on Par with the Cars and Lone Ranger Playsets for a total so far of $215 There are the overflow characters for $13 a pop which at launch includes Violet, Dash, Franchesco and Mater so there ya go, $52 more dollars down the flusher with $5 blind packs of Power Discs you can collect and Trade with other Disney Infinity players meaning we can piss away as much money as we can!

Exactly, that why you must take all that money you've been saving up for your Wii U and blow it all on the much more awesome Disney Infinity in protest of Nintendo's current position.

Bloop: So what you're saying is you want us to Avoid all things pertaining to the word "Nintendo"

That's the Plan.

Bleep: No Pikmin 3?

No.

Bloop: No Pokémon X or Pokémon Y?

No.

Bleep: No Wonderful 101?

Sadly, no...

Bloop: No Mario Kart 8?

Not even a pre-order.

Ranting Robots: EX-TER-MI-NATE! EX-TER-(Static)

heh. There are other ways to make Iwata fall.

The Way to Do It

Our Goal here is to have Disney perchase Nintendo in order to relieve Iwata of duty! Sell your Stocks in the company

For those of you who already Inked a pre-order, I've got a special item on the menu for you guys.

The Final Battle

Now the goal of this resistance is having Nintendo sell it's buisness to a place I'm certain will allow it to grow and expand not as a company, but as a valued asset to it's parent company. If you haven't figured out yet through the direction of the Money, It's the goddamn Walt Disney Company! This could prove to be quite the venture for Disney, seeing as how they could get their foot in the Door in the Japanese Market with a wonderful company to one day rechristen as 'Walt Disney Entertainment of Japan'. Think of all the funny Japanese friends you could unite under a newly recolored umbrella, Ghibli, Probably Toei if they realise Saban's Treatment of their properties has been rancid since their revival, and even a little company named Square Enix. My god, It'll be beautiful and we have a consistant method of hitting Nintendo where it hurts. And why, you may ask?

The base price is twice the amount of Nintendo's Net Worth. I say we get next year's SGC to host an epic gaming of Nintendo-themed epicness where each of the five battles Iwata manages to lose results in Nintendo's price shrinking .20%. And we need some people to kick Iwata's ass in Smash Brothers, Mario Kart, Kid Icarus Uprising, Pokémon and a secret game that we cannot reveal just yet.

Contact Screwattack.com to have Next Year's SGC be where Iwata shall fight a war he'll never forget!

Thin Crust Loves KINGDOM HEARTS (TheKHRP)

Pan Pizza: Okay, So what in godbear's name has you believing that you're Rebel Taxi Material?

Thin Crust: Well, I've got this Idea for a video segment It's called the 'Waifu of the Day'.

Pan Pizza: The What?

Thin Crust: My friend this is where I Select an Image of a chick that Turns me on rock hard and then Immortalise it on my Wall!

Pan Pizza: Do you have an Example of this new gag?

Thin Crust: Quite, do you know why they're going for a prequel instead of a sequel...

Pan Pizza: I'm sure they have a legitamate reason fo-(sees the Waifu) Ohh...Ohhhhhh!!! AW! YES!

Thin Crust: Think she's a better Idea than Monsters University...

Pan Pizza: Hell to the Yes!

Thin Crust: Thank you, As for my Segment Idea, Try this on for Size!

(Intro)

Pan Pizza: Ooohh... Pirated, I like that part in ya.

Thin Crust: And what do ya think of the set?

Pan Pizza: <Your Opinion of the Set>

Thin Crust: Alright, We've got a Show to do so let's get right to it. You and Me are gonna roll on through the entire Seeker of Darkness Saga for the Project, Run down an Elaborate Analysis of each of the Games and get into details of what we want to see. We add the Characters to our boster board that we've got there and plan out our story with you guys the fans. The first thing we gotta do is this... (drops the Xehanort Saga in the Garbage) with that said, lets dig into the leftovers.

(1-Davis Family, Bonnie Anderson)

Pan Pizza: uhhhh... Toy Story?

Thin Crust: yep.

Pan Pizza: the first ever CGI feature length film

Thin Crust: yep.

Pan Pizza: What? Are ya pulling my leg or somthin... huh?

Thin Crust: No Sempai, I'm ensuring Kingdom Hearts III becomes the first ever Interactive Motion Picture

Pan Pizza: What?

Thin Crust: It's a dream of mine... I'd be delighted to see this dream realised.

Pan Pizza: Yeah, Nobody Cares so... Why them?

Thin Crust: Why do I think the Davis clan and Bonnie Anderson are Important Characters? Well, in this story I'm setting up, Terra is Andy's Older Brother and Eraqus is the Father.

Step 1: birth by sleep

---

Next is Vanitas, a creepy mofo who spawns these Unversed creatures all over place.

And finally, There's Master Anthony Brian Xehanort. He's more or less a good guy who will ultimately reboot the franchise without that Rich Bitch Destiny Taking the wheel. He knows for a fact that nopony can die in this kind of Franchise, just ask Nomura!

Step 2: Kingdom Hearts

And this is where we get the Sora, Riku and Kairi we've come to know. Let's Add the Toys to our Box here

Step 3: Chain of Memories

Step 4: 358/2 Days

Step 5: Kingdom Hearts II

Step 6: coded

Step 7: Dream Drop Distance

---

And Reibranz makes it all complete! Give him a round of applause, for he's the last character we're gonna get in the games so far! Let us Cinnabrate!

To The Future (KHRP Game)

RebelTaxi Loves TURNER BROADCASTING (Donald Trump)

Pan Pizza: Welcome Back to Divorce Horse! If you are just joining us, Donald Trump needs to his Broadcasting Empire beyond Just the Apprentice.

---

Thin Crust: Pan, We wish to negotiate some terms for Donald Trump.

RebelTaxi Hates STEVEN MOFFAT (#Trump4Who)

RebelTaxi Hates LET'S KILL HITLER (WtFaiz, River!?)

RebelTaxi Hates THE WEDDING OF RIVER SONG (Isn't It All Pointless?)

RebelTaxi Hates THE DOCTOR, THE WIDOW AND THE WARDROBE (Androzani, What!?)

---

And Now, If you excuse me. I have a Six Hour Challenge to Run for Toonami and a Best Doctor Who Stories List to compile for the Campaign. And seeing as the Toonami Six Hour is Super Cereal because Cartoons, The Latter of the two (Pulls Snacks from under the Table) It's Gonna be all Your Fault! Pepsico Foodstuffs Wrapped in Kilbasa and Spicy Italian Sausages, Don't fail me now!

RebelTaxi Hates ASYLUM OF THE DALEKS (Just Cameos!?!)

Thin Crust: This Episode...Ugh!

Pan Pizza: What he's saying is... Ugh!

Both: It makes no... Gah!!!

Thin Crust: Asylum of the Daleks... I mean this is the lowest a Dalek story can possibly get, Lower than Destiny of the Daleks, Lower than Revalation, Evolution even! This thing looses to the one where a Dalek Rams a Guy up his Time Vortex to become...This!

---

Pan Pizza: This is by far the Jumping the Shark Moment of all Dalek-kind, Ruining them for the rest of the series and I hope to christ that the Daleks are soon Retired after this episode because we cant handle what kind of re-establishment Moffat would have in Store for the Show.

Thin Crust: With a Plot made of Swiss Cheese and wasted opportunities aplenty, this is by far the worst season opener since Warriors of the Deep. If you know what that is from whatever source you heard it from, please go take a few minutes with us... (He and Pan Pizza stare into the Mirror in tears)

-Transition-

Thin Crust: Now do you understand why we need this Masterplan?

RebelTaxi Hates THE ANGELS TAKE MANHATTAN (Predictable)

For this episode Moffat should be bringing his A-Game. He would ensure that the Ponds' Exit from the Show is a worthwhile adventure and perk up those who still have faith in him after the total train wrecks he wrote beforehand...

---

Ya know, This scene is not only pointless but it spoils the surprise you've got for Rory! Speaking of The boy who waited...

---

If anyone in the audience does not see this tombstone being important later allow me to get you a number for a good psychiatrist.

RebelTaxi Hates THE SNOWMEN (Old Monster Desecration)

I think I get it now, Moffat's Secret! I get why Blink didn't Focus on The Doctor and his companion at the time Martha Jones. I understand why Donna Noble was Trapped inside the Data Core away from the Doctor, I actually get the divorce subplot! River Song, Amelia Williams and Clara Ozwin Ozwald are all gimmick added to the show to keep < Rose Tyler > The Girl who Waited, The Doctor's quot-unquot "Wife", and now... the girl who died twice. They're merely gimmick to keep Rose around Moffat figured out how to cheat the system and let that bitch < Regeneraaaaaaate! >

Now do you see why this dickhole must be evacuated from the franchise...It's the Lucas Effect, he rocked then but he blows now...

RebelTaxi Hates THE BELLS OF SAINT JOHN (Frankenstory)

Hey, kids. Let's play Steven Moffat Bingo! Since we all know how ball-lickingly bad he's gotten at writing, I decided to create this Bingo Card with every element from Moffat's other stories each having a shot of an alcoholic beverage to help calm your nerves. There's a lot of contribance to watch and alot of Booze to Drink so let's take a look at The Bells of Saint John.

In the Prequel, The Doctor Encounters Clara as a little Girl...

It's bad enough when I have to take a shot this early, now Moffat's soiled one of Amy's few defining gimmicks! (Takes a shot)

The plot's kind of like the Idiot's Lantern, y'know the 2012 Olympics? As we see a warning from the Internet except the members of said internet is trapped with their computer webcam or something...God! A Blink reference, really? Your award winning story from when he didn't suck is getting shoehorned into this mess. Sorry, Steve-O... that's another shot against you. (takes a shot) Is copying your own work plagerism or fetish...

---

And that was the Bells of St John.us (gets cross-eyed) Nope, need a minute. < Emergency Stomach Pump Session >

RebelTaxi Hates THE NAME OF THE DOCTOR (OMGWTFGENIUS!)

So we see that the Great Intelligence wants to use it to kill the Doctor all at once, you could've saved some time and killed him in the middle of Cinderella, Snow White, or even his freakin' childhood for corn's sake.

RebelTaxi Hates THE FALL OF THE ELEVENTH

Poor Matt Smith. He's proven to be one of the most Magnificent Actors to play the Doctor. He has had a stellar freshman year, but was screwed into a rather iffy sophamore year, an absolutely retarded junior year and a rather confusing Senior Year. But it all has to end somewhere and what better way to Graduate than in the confines of a Christmas Special. I kinda wanna see the Doctor Who christmas specials on the Isle of Misfit Christmas Specials on Platypus Comix. I also wanna see a fourth Policy Trailer Jamboree.

RebelTaxi Hates GOSEI SENTAI AKIBARANGER (Humiliation)

The Seventeenth Super Sentai, the one that was snubbed by it's American cousin Power Rangers and for good reason. We're taking a look at Gosei Senta-I F**king Hate Akibaranger!

Rebel Taxi Nigo