Rebel Taxi Nigo
From Accct Wiki
Gags
Because x________
Clips
- Of Course!
Unsorted Shows
Thin Crust Loves KINGDOM HEARTS (TheKHRP)
<Pan Pizza: The Coach>
Pan Pizza: Okay, So what in godbear's name has you believing that you're Rebel Taxi Material?
<Thin Crust: Rookie of the Year>
Thin Crust: Well, I've got this Idea for a video segment It's called the 'Waifu of the Day'.
Pan Pizza: The What?
Thin Crust: My friend this is where I Select an Image of a chick that Turns me on rock hard and then Immortalise it on my Wall!
Pan Pizza: Do you have an Example of this new gag?
Thin Crust: Quite, do you know why they're going for a prequel instead of a sequel...
Pan Pizza: I'm sure they have a legitamate reason fo-(sees the Waifu) Ohh...Ohhhhhh!!! AW! YES!
Thin Crust: Think she's a better Idea than Monsters University...
Pan Pizza: Hell to the Yes!
Thin Crust: Thank you, As for my Segment Idea, Try this on for Size!
(Intro)
Pan Pizza: Ooohh... Pirated, I like that part in ya.
Thin Crust: And what do ya think of the set?
Pan Pizza: <Your Opinion of the Set>
Thin Crust: Alright, We've got a Show to do so let's get right to it. You and Me are gonna roll on through the entire Seeker of Darkness Saga for the Project, Run down an Elaborate Analysis of each of the Games and get into details of what we want to see. We add the Characters to our boster board that we've got there and plan out our story with you guys the fans. The first thing we gotta do is this... (drops the Xehanort Saga in the Garbage) with that said, lets dig into the leftovers.
(1-Davis Family, Bonnie Anderson)
Pan Pizza: uhhhh... Toy Story?
Thin Crust: yep.
Pan Pizza: the first ever CGI feature length film
Thin Crust: yep.
Pan Pizza: What? Are ya pulling my leg or somthin... huh?
Thin Crust: No Sempai, I'm ensuring Kingdom Hearts III becomes the first ever Interactive Motion Picture
Pan Pizza: What?
Thin Crust: It's a dream of mine... I'd be delighted to see this dream realised.
Pan Pizza: Yeah, Nobody Cares so... Why them?
Thin Crust: Why do I think the Davis clan and Bonnie Anderson are Important Characters? Well, in this story I'm setting up, Terra is Andy's Older Brother and Eraqus is the Father.
Step 1: birth by sleep
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Next is Vanitas, a creepy mofo who spawns these Unversed creatures all over place.
And finally, There's Master Anthony Brian Xehanort. He's more or less a good guy who will ultimately reboot the franchise without that Rich Bitch Destiny Taking the wheel. He knows for a fact that nopony can die in this kind of Franchise, just ask Nomura!
Step 2: Kingdom Hearts
And this is where we get the Sora, Riku and Kairi we've come to know. Let's Add the Toys to our Box here
Step 3: Chain of Memories
Step 4: 358/2 Days
Step 5: Kingdom Hearts II
Step 6: coded
Step 7: Dream Drop Distance
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And Reibranz makes it all complete! Give him a round of applause, for he's the last character we're gonna get in the games so far! Let us Cinnabrate!
To The Future (KHRP Game)
Mario Party 6
RebelTaxi NiGo Season 2 (How I Spent my Supper Vacation)
Intro
It's been one shell of a ride for my sempai and my comrade, A Gurren-Lagann Review, an interview with Maxwell Atoms, A subscription from one of our least enjoyable people... It's been a blast to see it unfold, But now's the time to ask: Doof, where have you been? Well, Now I'm ready to tell ya! Welcome, my friends, to Season 2.
Piñata Island
Poké-Paradise
<FE:A Country>
During Alph's time in the Pokémon world, I was with my Dragonauge... or at least, the young lady who used to be my Dragonauge...
Epilogue
Eventually, We reunited at another universe altogether. There was coffee as we saw a Curious Comet pass by which would be refined into the Cosby Comet you see before you by me and Deep Dish using a mysterious power embued upon us by a nebula of some sort. I think it gave the last guy cancer...
The Downfall of CAPCOM
Nintendo has gotten itself out of its sales slump when it comes to the Wii U... for now at least... But there's one target that I mentioned that may get Disney's Foot in the Door when it comes to the Japanese Market and, you guessed it, taking over the world.
<Cue Capcom clip>
But what can you do with a company as troubled as Capcom. Well for starters, we can breathe new life into Megaman since the last Megaman Game was a just a fanmade crossover with Street Fighter. Let's face it we did not expect the latest Megaman to come from Goddamn Box Art, Like, Dude, that may seem funny to some people but to the fans who trusted you to put Megaman in the Game, That's a dangerously low blow, dude!
Moving on to Dead Rising, the latest notable franchise on our list. The timeline and mythos now spans more than a Decade with it's third Installment, I see a bottle of Nerd Rage in your future.
Devil May Cry, badass hack n' slash adventure. Recently suffered just because the story was rebooted in a vain attempt to appeal to western audiences, although Raptor News has some potential. Not Disney's cup of tea but what can you do? Also unlikely to survive unscathed in the big Disney Buyout to come...
Resident Evil, A lesson from Don Bluth says: Children can take anything as long as there's a Happy Ending. You don't need to make it overly sappy, just have the goal of the game unsures that everybody lives, and that they're all in this Together, speaking of Sunday School Musical
Capcom Fighters are definitely a Packaged Deal, Especially when you count in the Capcom vs. Whatever Franchise, Which crosses over Street Fighter, Darkstalkers, All those Classic Capcom Fighters, even the other Capcom franchises out there and renders all deals to buy individual franchises entirely useless. I'm including Breath of Fire and Power Stone because I guess they're fighters, I dunno, I never even heard of 'em except for Power Stone for it is badass. According to a recent tweet from Yoshinoki Ono, the creator of Street Fighter, Capcom does not have enough resources to even port over Ultra Street Fighter 4, The money thing I get since they only have at most 152 million bucks left to spend, And they fired half their european staff. It's painfully obvious that Capcom's goin' Tits up in the months to come.
Bad Buisness Habits, Overreliance on bad DLC, Burying franchises, Milking only one franchise 'til it's bone dry, Needless to say, They're Screwed and you're in luck! Who's biting first, Midway, Arc, Dare I say... Disney? As you can tell by my collection of Disney Infinity Swag, The Answer is obvious.
Act now and you can relegate the very Management who got them into this mess to man the Ticket Booths at Tokyo Disneyland.
RebelTaxi Loves TURNER BROADCASTING (Donald Trump)
Pan Pizza: Welcome Back to Divorce Horse! If you are just joining us, Donald Trump needs to his Broadcasting Empire beyond Just the Apprentice.
---
Thin Crust: Pan, We wish to negotiate some terms for Donald Trump.
Top 10 Star Wars DI Figurines: Original Trilogy
3.0.'s coming up faster than a sweating bullet, and with it: Star Wars. We already know the guys from The Force Awakens will be well on their way to the Toy Factory, but there's no word on the Trilogy that started it all and that's what I'm counting down.
Top 10 Star Wars DI Figurines: Prequel Trilogy
Top 10 Star Wars DI Figurines: Expanded Universe
RebelTaxi Hates STEVEN MOFFAT (#Trump4Who)
RebelTaxi Hates LET'S KILL HITLER (WtFaiz, River!?)
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The Doctor: Put him in the Cuboard.
Pan Pizza: What?
Pan Pizza: WHAT!? They have the oppritunity to explore a universe where World War Dos is freakin stopped and you shelve that plotline for-?
(Mels collapses)
Pan Pizza: Well, She was completely Pointless, Wasn't she...
Thin Crust: Actually...
Pan Pizza: Let's give a gihugic novelty hand to Mels the Most Pointless companion ever!
<Cue Party Scene from Wild Force>
The Doctor: We'll call your parents,
Mels:
<The same scene from Wild Force where everone stops partying>
Pan Pizza: *getting his pot out* huh?
Mels: Penny in the air...
Pan Pizza: Oh, no.
Mels: Penny Drops.
Pan Pizza: Thinny, Who names their kid "Mels".
Thin Crust: No one! It must be short for something like-
Mels: Melody.
The Doctor: You named your daughter... after your daughter.
Thin Crust:
RebelTaxi Hates THE WEDDING OF RIVER SONG (Isn't It All Pointless?)
RebelTaxi Hates THE DOCTOR, THE WIDOW AND THE WARDROBE (Androzani, What!?)
---
It starts with a spaceship exploding at the hands of the Doctor-Wait! I'm gonna need some Doritos and Mountain Dew, It's pretty obvious that this episode's gonna rely solely on Rule of Cool here... The Doctor survives the noisy fall from space to the serface of Early 20th Century London through a fancy Impact Suit-Hold Up! This just isnt the Right Size Bag and Bottle for the Job...(The Bottle and bag are replaced with a 20 oz bottle and a family sized bag) ...What? I needed something a bit more potent...
However, seeing the Doctor not only survive, but making sounds, in the airless vacuum of space is ridiculous. Further, the Doctor should have burned up in the Earth’s atmosphere, or been splattered into smithereens by the force of impact. But, it’s Christmas, and for once, Steven Moffat tried to offer an explanation for his seeming plot hole, so I’m gonna let this one slide – even if said explanation (the Doctor is wearing an “impact suit” that is repairing his damaged body, which is why he cannot remove the helmet, thus hiding his face from Madge, and leading to the events of the episode) is a bit contrived.
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And Now, If you excuse me. I have a Six Hour Challenge to Run for Toonami and a Best Doctor Who Stories List to compile for the Campaign. And seeing as the Toonami Six Hour is Super Cereal because Cartoons, The Latter of the two (Pulls Snacks from under the Table) It's Gonna be all Your Fault! Pepsico Foodstuffs Wrapped in Kilbasa and Spicy Italian Sausages, Don't fail me now!
RebelTaxi Hates ASYLUM OF THE DALEKS (Just Cameos!?!)
Thin Crust: This Episode...Ugh!
Pan Pizza: What he's saying is... Ugh!
Both: It makes no... Gah!!!
Thin Crust: Asylum of the Daleks... I mean this is the lowest a Dalek story can possibly get, Lower than Destiny of the Daleks, Lower than Revalation, Evolution even! This thing looses to the one where a Dalek Rams a Guy up his Time Vortex to become...This!
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Pan Pizza: This is by far the Jumping the Shark Moment of all Dalek-kind, Ruining them for the rest of the series and I hope to christ that the Daleks are soon Retired after this episode because we cant handle what kind of re-establishment Moffat would have in Store for the Show.
Thin Crust: With a Plot made of Swiss Cheese and wasted opportunities aplenty, this is by far the worst season opener since Warriors of the Deep. If you know what that is from whatever source you heard it from, please go take a few minutes with us... (He and Pan Pizza stare into the Mirror in tears)
-Transition-
Thin Crust: Now do you understand why we need this Masterplan?
RebelTaxi Hates THE ANGELS TAKE MANHATTAN (Predictable)
For this episode Moffat should be bringing his A-Game. He would ensure that the Ponds' Exit from the Show is a worthwhile adventure and perk up those who still have faith in him after the total train wrecks he wrote beforehand...
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Ya know, This scene is not only pointless but it spoils the surprise you've got for Rory! Speaking of The boy who waited...
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Ya see that tombstone that's over there If anyone in the audience does not see this thing being important later allow me to get you a number for a good psychiatrist.
---
(Bwaaaaa! Bwa-Bwaaa-Bwaaa!)
Rory begs the Doc- Wait, Ya Know what? I'm not even gonna call him that! Rory Begs Shinji the Slinky to try and fix this but Shinji the Slinky reminds him of fixed time. My god I can't believe I Live in a Universe where this is acctually Possible
Rory Decides to Commit Suicide to in order to change his future and cause a paradox against fixed time. He assures Amy that he could be ressurected and Joins him just as the Shinji the Slinky
(Bwaaaaa! Bwa-Bwaaa-Bwaaa!)
Thin Crust: See, The reason why we saw them get zapped right in front of their eyes which we commonfolk use to...you know, See Them... is Because Karen Gillan has made her desision about leaving the show Final!
Pan Pizza: So the Doc- Ya know what, I'm not even gonna call him that <Insert Insult name>
RebelTaxi Hates THE SNOWMEN (Old Monster Desecration)
I think I get it now, Moffat's Secret! I get why Blink didn't Focus on The Doctor and his companion at the time Martha Jones. I understand why Donna Noble was Trapped inside the Data Core away from the Doctor, I actually get the divorce subplot! River Song, Amelia Williams and Clara Ozwin Ozwald are all gimmick added to the show to keep < Rose Tyler > The Girl who Waited, The Doctor's quot-unquot "Wife", and now... the girl who died twice. They're merely gimmick to keep Rose around Moffat figured out how to cheat the system and let that bitch < Regeneraaaaaaate! >
Now do you see why this dickhole must be evacuated from the franchise...It's the Lucas Effect, he rocked then but he blows now...
RebelTaxi Hates THE BELLS OF SAINT JOHN (Frankenstory)
Hey, kids. Let's play Steven Moffat Bingo! Since we all know how ball-lickingly bad he's gotten at writing, I decided to create this Bingo Card with every element from Moffat's other stories each having a shot of an alcoholic beverage to help calm your nerves. There's a lot of contribance to watch and alot of Booze to Drink so let's take a look at The Bells of Saint John.
In the Prequel, The Doctor Encounters Clara as a little Girl...
It's bad enough when I have to take a shot this early, now Moffat's soiled one of Amy's few defining gimmicks! (Takes a shot)
The plot's kind of like the Idiot's Lantern, y'know the 2012 Olympics? As we see a warning from the Internet except the members of said internet is trapped with their computer webcam or something...God! A Blink reference, really? Your award winning story from when he didn't suck is getting shoehorned into this mess. Sorry, Steve-O... that's another shot against you. (takes a shot) Is copying your own work plagerism or fetish...
And that was the Bells of St John. (gets cross-eyed) Nope, need a minute. < Emergency Stomach Pump Session > it's shit! It plagiarised a story we have already seen in the idiots lantern, it spits in the face of River Song by all the flirting on screen with Clara, and the villains were a concept more suited for a 90s comic script for the Tick. And considering how many times actors return to Dr Who as new and more plot integral characters (the Brigadier, Gwen Cooper, Martha Jones, etc.) I don't really feel the impact of THIS COMPANION who died twice... Hell even Colin Baker was brought back to be the DOCTOR!!! the actress playing Oswin then goes on to play a character called Clara... I don't see a big deal to start bringing this up now. Also if was first named Oswin in her first life, then Clara in her second life, why is she Clara again? Her character concept is a plot hole in of itself...!!
RebelTaxi Hates THE NAME OF THE DOCTOR (OMGWTFGENIUS!)
This was Balls, This entire series of Doctor Who was flat-out Chicken Balls. To watch Moffat's earlier work especially Curse of Fatal Death knowing the shit I know now is just dissapointing. To even look at Steven Moffat's Face since the whole dang season has passed is painful to me. It is why I use the Image of Sayaka to represent him. She delt with stress and fell into darkness, Just like Moffat but at least she wasnt aware of what Octavia Von Sekkendoff has done in her existance.
Moffat has Made every story of series 7 its own blockbuster. And Moffat's Stories as of Late have been known for Angering the Fanbase in Three Ways, Jumping the Shark, Nuking the Fridge and Frying the Coke.
And the Moffat Era has been Very Crappy Thus Far with Walking Gimmicks, Inconsistant Time Lords and Plot Holes the size of the Grand Canyon but we have yet to experience the big moment series seven has been building up towards, The Moment Doctor Who Fries the Coke! I dont think It's gonna happen here tonight and Moffat's acctually being clever for -What's this?
Wait a minute, this could be it. The Doctor seems to be swallowing his pride.
He's standing there sadly...
Could this be the Frying the Coke Moment
Yes! Yes!
And we're safe! They did not reveal the Doctor's Name at all, and thank god. Cause that could have fried the coke big time.
Oh, dear... The Shark Chart's off the scale...
And there it goes, It hit the Highest Setting of Jumping the Shark, Coming Back to Shoot in the Nads, Rape it, Eat it's flesh, consume it soul, mount it's head on the wall and rinsing and repeating the process on twelve other goddamn sharks just to be safe! Johnny Hurt is living proof that Doctor Who Needs Saving! So keep tweeting the Hashtag #DisneyWho to ensure that No further Jumping the Shark Moments Occur and the Fans Have a say in the Production of the Franchise.
RebelTaxi Hates THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR (TYLER!)
You know what, I take it all back... Everything I said about... 'Mels' and the Rose Tyler Gimmick-Clones... All of it... I take everything back... Because I knew somehow it was gonna get worse...
and worse...
and worse...
and worse...
and worse...
and God-Jeaaabust! I'm sure you can forgive me for the hell I raised, Right Whoniverse... You're not gonna ruin the Anniversary for everyone right? Please... :(
And that was Day of the Doctor, Oh my christ... That certainly was a Wild Ride though Space and Time.
RebelTaxi Hates THE TIME OF THE DOCTOR (Pray for Petey)
Poor Matt Smith. He's proven to be one of the most Magnificent Actors to play the Doctor. He has had a stellar freshman year, but was screwed into a rather iffy sophamore year, an absolutely retarded junior year and a rather confusing Senior Year. But it all has to end somewhere and what better way to Graduate than in the confines of a Christmas Special. I kinda wanna see the Doctor Who christmas specials on the Isle of Misfit Christmas Specials on Platypus Comix. I also wanna see a fourth Policy Trailer Jamboree.
RebelTaxi Hates .--.
RebelTaxi Hates GOSEI SENTAI AKIBARANGER (Humiliation)
The Seventeenth Super Sentai, the one that was snubbed by it's American cousin Power Rangers and for good reason. We're taking a look at Gosei Senta-I F**king Hate Akibaranger!
5 reasons why TOEI must dump SABAN BRANDS
Prologue
Greetings, People of Youtube.
5: Greed
Budget Restraints.
- huh*
What this means is: they can choose to do just about anything to save some money for their bottom line.
- Huh*
4: The "Power Ups"
So, the nerdy Noah transforms into the badass Gokai Blue? And Jake into Green is kinda fitting, KINDA. Because Jake is the jokester, but he's not clumsy... Right, Don?
First off, A "Power Up" should enhance the look and the abilities of the current rangers. Second, Why do they have to change suits only to change to another suit? Third, Kibaranger with the Zyurangers pretty much worked out 'cuz they both have bestial motifs (dinosaurs for Zyuranger, mythical beasts for Dairanger). But Gokai Silver with the Goseigers? The pirate motif isn't really anywhere near to the angel motif... And the Main Problem, This version of powering up diminishes the well designed suits of the Gokaiger and essentially skips a full group of heroes! Henceforth, I Hereby Propose a new Law for adapting Power Ranger Teams to prevent this sheer lazyness, All Ranger Teams must be their Own Seperate Entity. I notice the Zordon Era has a special Problem. Dont worry, the Masterplan in this Bright Red Folder Donated from an Anonymous source has all the Answers. And Yes, This TARDIS Blue Folder also has a masterplan that will also be Important.
It's Funny because Toei Explicitly demanded that no Sentai shall be skipped, the fact that Saban Found this Loophole Agri-vates the Toku Faithful to no end.
3: Nickelodeon's Greed
Here's that first mistake that screwed everything up for fandom. I ran into a little kid in a Power Rangers T-Shirt one time at my Local Wal*Mart and said to me, "Where are the Power Rangers? Where did the go?" Guess which Red Ranger I spotted on said shirt, Jaden Shiba! I directed him to the local TV Tropes where he can get learned about The franchise beyond the Samurai Rangers and he would be humiliated and publicly insulted by Local Veterans of the Power Rangers Fandom. This is what two consecutive Twenty-Episode Seasons do to our generation. Why would they order only twenty episodes when clearly there's more than double that amount in Stock Footage. I'll give you a hint, Who's Bright Yellow, Peaked with a Movie, and Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea. And that's not all el orange couch has done to add insult to injury, We also can also blame it for the Dissapearence of Power Rangers from Vortexx. Oh, Spongebob, Ruining the lives of his neighbors one day at a time.
2: Disney's Changed
And now, we have a new segment on the Show called < Kid-Vid! Slowly Dying, but still sorta okay > In 2001, they were given a choice, Ultimately Haim only wanted a huge pile of money to further his political goals and so he handed over the whole dang Ship to Buena Vista, One of the Walt Disney Company's Corporate Lap Dogs. We could have seen much better seasons in the Kalish Era, SPD would have been Epic, Mystic Force would have been Magestic, Operation Overdrive...would have been Watchable! But no, they Watered it down with explosions and Censorship, only letting up just so they could stuff it in the cupboard that they called ABC Kids.
But that's the thing with Disney, they didn't buy Saban for Saban. They Bought It for ABC Family, Everything Else they got was Junk to lock away into the vault, Even the Rangers! It was only saved from the void of obscurity by the Suggestion to film their Series in New Zealand where they Ironically ban Power Rangers, I might add. And to Top it all off, this half-hearted purchase became the catalyst for Michael Eisener's Removal from Office and the beginning of Iger's reign in the Magic Kingdom. If they were to give Power Rangers a Second Chance with Bob in control, They would welcome the franchise back with open arms and a clearer, Kalish-Free head.
1: Gangnam Girls
If the Internet is whining about how what the name would be applied to then you're officially Ruined Forever. The Name "Gangnam Girls" is More Freakin' Dated than a Transformer with an Afro, like, is it a disco ball? er... how do you transform with that thing? Huh? You'd think It would be one of those 4Kids-type dubs with that specific kind of Suck but clearly nothing good can come of their works when the name alone has the potential to doom the anime industry in America. Goodbye, Toonami ...again: Hello, World War III. I've said it before in the much less mature first draft of this video. Laziness can be excused, World-Threatening Racism cannot. The fact that we live in a world where the assumption that Asians are all the same could trigger the end of aforementioned world should be some cause for alarm. But if this Abomination comes in to ruin our day, We're History. Obviously something is wrong with the brilliant men who recruited five fantastic actors to portray that one group of Courageous Teenagers with additude since the day Murdoch left the Blokes at Buena Vista to gunt up his fridge and burn his house down with lemons, Because their age and the age of the rest of the fine folk at Saban Brands is as obvious as it can get with Gangnam Girls.
Epilogue
And those are my Five Problems with Saban Brands, But there is some good news, If you didn't hear me back with the Power Up Segment, A good fellow has handed me a Masterplan for Funimation should they get Motivation from the Fans and Rider Kick The 64-year-old virgins at Saban Brands back into the Nightosphere whence it came.
Cartoon Network Pilots
Scedule
Mars Safari fizzles out at 12
My Science Project disgusts the childrens at 12:15
Mystery Roomies echoes an old friend at 12:30
Steven Universe shows it's stripes at 12:45
Clarence drags us down at 1
Lakeford County Turbo picks us back up again at 1:15
Wolf's Rain sinks it's teeth into the 1:30 slot.
Super Pig slips through the cracks at 2
We'll top it all off with Fanime Selects at 2:30
--
Six Hours that are anything but wasted.
South Park Kickstarter
Do you like nickelodeon? Well, Have we got an Idea for you, a Roast of the first kids network from your favorite white trash redneck mountain town South Park! The Laziness and Racism of Saban, Overreliance on Spongebob, good shows being forgotten by the network and so much more will be covered by this episode. The title of the episode: Super Megasuck, But we need your help to make it happen. If you donate some money to fund this special episode of South Park or if you Tweet the hashtag #SuperMegasuck to Trey and Matt's Twitter Accounts and other Twittermen with strong ties to South Park and get the guys to actually acknowledge this movement, we could see a true game changer for Nick. I dont expect to see this be a success but if it ends up raising the $64,000 needed for a single episode, I will surely be amazed. I'll be doing extra incentives for this project, $86,000 - Tara Strong as Trini, The Original Yellow Power Ranger, as in the one with the vacant role, to sum up, she'll have a voice similar to Twilight Sparkle and Illana from Sym-biotic Titan as that's far closer to Trini than whover Saban Picked up for the show. $100,000 - Live Broadcasting not just on Comedy Central, but also on Nickelodeon where the sponge sleeps... Speaking of the Sponge, $128,000: Tom Kenny and company join the jamboree
Sonic Boom X (How we'd salvage Sonic Boom)
Alright, last time we visited the Blue Blur. They've been reduced to tending to mobius' elderly, with their franchise ultimately being the centerpiece which, due to Bill Friedberg's stellar writing and quality pedigree, has found sadly itself on life support. But there's a way to save the franchise from the mobile's nasty kiss. May I introduce Sonic Boom X: The starting point today's potential fans of the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise deserve! We'll be breaking down what needs to happen in the show, arc by arc, and figure out which of Sonic's comrades from throughout the franchise from the Games to the Comics. The Goal is to provide a great new jumping in point for incoming franchise newcomers and to pretty much succeed where Bill and his cronies beaten and bashed said franchise into a bloody lifeless pulp. With that out of the way, let's discuss potential showrunners.
DeeP DiSH: Personally, in terms of showrunners. I'd go with Ken Penders, He was one of the Sonic Writers I grew up with reading the Comics.
Step One: The Blue Blur Arc
Size: 3 episodes
THiN CRUST: So the first Arc is going to be a three episode introduction to Sonic's character as well as the Major Plot Device of the series, The Star Egg, an Interstellar Amusement Park that saw the earthbound area developed into Robotropolis, with more and more area being built over the natural landscapes the longer Robotropolis stands, the environment suffers because of it, but that's a minor detail here, wouldn't want this to go all Captain Planet on us, now would we. Sonic and Tails are relaxing in their island home with Amy Rose, but then along comes Sally Acorn, Princess of a Kingdom imperiled by the overgrowth of Robotropolis, to find Angel Island and see if it's untouched by Robotropolis' noxic spread. Sonic decides not to do that but to take the battle head-on by himself, Ending Episode One.
DeeP DiSH: Episode Two begins with a montage of the best levels of Sonic the Hedgehog 1-4 and Knuckles. Green Hill, -Ice Level-, -Ruins Level-, The Works. And it leads Sonic to Robotropolis where he meets the Freedom Fighters, Antoine, Rotor, Bunnie, -, and Nicole. The Band of Heroes venture across the Kingdom of Machines to reach the centerpiece of this Robot Apocalypse waiting to happen. We catch a glimpse at another couple Hedgehogs at the end of the episode, one pitch black with silver streaks, another who is silver all around. These two are members of the Cult of Lyric: A group of Mobians sworn to keep the eponymous Child of Solaris sealed away in a temple which was ripped from the Lost Hex to be the centerpiece of the Star Egg's hub area. We end the episode with a shot of the temple and the glowing red seal on the shrine.
THiN CRUST: Episo- no.
DeeP DiSH: But Boss!
THiN CRUST: No means No, I am not reading this!
DeeP DiSH: I promise it's not as convoluted as it is with their native games!
THiN CRUST: But the games you're referencing in this episode are nothing but Jokes!
DeeP DiSH: It'll work.
THiN CRUST: What?
DeeP DiSH: I wrote the scenarios from the memory I have from marathoning Sonic Let's Plays and Sonic Dissected, I have researched every wiki page in the Sonic News Network Wiki, I have read the Sonic Comic during the later part of Ken Penders' time with the comic. It'll Work.
THiN CRUST: ...fine. But don't complain if we lose subscribers. Episode Three's where the Major Character Conflict of the series comes into play, Sonic believes that Eggman's perfectly content with overcharging people for a vacation at a five-planets-in-one interstellar resort, while Tails is hesitant to trust 'Ol Egghead. They don't have time to think about this as two of the Deadly Six are pursuing Wisps in what appears to be an attempt to get a free annual pass at first because with prices this astronomical, who wouldn't want a decade pass to this park. But these clowns are actually seeking to use the wisps to break the seal placed upon their creator: wait for it... Lyric. Sonic rescues the wisps the two Ibla were chasing {Ibla? Oh, gimme a break...} and Sonic zaps out of their range and end up in front of Eggman whom they have chatted with during the start of the episode, he wants Sonic to surrender the Wisps to him in exchange for what amounts to two free years in Boom's version of Eggmanland, Sonic hesitates at first but Eggman insists that they'll be safe from the Deadly Six, but the tone is somewhat off, cluing Sonic into a more complex nature to Eggman's Facade. Sonic accepts the offer but the Lazer wisp warps him away again but makes a wrong turn towards the Tomb of Lyric, causing Sonic to slide brake himself across the floor... Smudging the seal that keeps Lyric in and the Deadly Six out.
<Cue Clip of Lyric's arrival>
Audio: Ah! Now you Fucked Up!
Step Two: Return to Mobius
size: 4 episodes
Long Story Short, Lyric curses Sonic with a special hex before shipping him off from the Western Galaxy, Which sets up our next segment of the Lyric Arc, which I have dubbed Return to Mobius where Sonic is Stranded on Earth for four episodes which is thankfully thirteen times shorter than the Original Sonic X. There we find out that Sonic is Cursed to walk the earth as a Warehog in the Moonlight while the rising sun grants him the form of the dominant species of this particular planet Lyric's sealed the blue blue away in. You already know what the dominant species is because you're watching this video, are you not? After wandering into the Thorndyke residence in the evening he meets Chris just as he does in the original series. When the Sun Rises, Sonic discovers the day part and gets himself dressed with whatever spare clothes he can find lying around. After a day at school where he meets Chris' friends, he tries to find a way back to Mobius, Going as far as drawing the same Rozmajin. Lyric inflicted onto him.
Step Three: The Child of Solaris
Size: 6 Episodes
Top 5 Smashers untouched by Sakurai
Animated Atrocities Score
- Gary Torture Porn: x$1 Billion
- Status Quo is God: x$1 Million
- Fatal Heart Attack Fuel: x$1 Million
- Mopey-Dopey Love Talk: x$128,000
- Patrick's A Prick: x$50,000
- Squidward Torture Porn: x$10,000
- Character Derailment: x$30-$3000 depending on importance of Character
- Hypocritical Moral: x$200
September 2013
Newcomer: DEEP DiSH
Arrival
EyEyEyEyEy! Which way do I go so that I can reach my home of-
DEEP DiSH: Who are you and what the Faiz are you doing in my grandma's TV?
Your Grandma's TV? Heh... I Applaud the RVT reference but...Your Grandma's TV?
DEEP DiSH: Yeah, I used to have this thing where I crashed at my grandma's place...Doin' it for old times sake so shut up!
Well, I won't till you point me to the way home, I got stuck in California by those Esquire Network bastards and I've been traveling ever since I picked up a few souvenirs from Texas as evidenced by my location in the previous review shown here.
DEEP DiSH: Wait, you're an Internet Critic?
Proud driver of the Rebel Taxi NiG0!
DEEP DiSH: How come I never heard of you?
Because I only have a subscriber headcount in the early triple digits...
DEEP DiSH: And you sure you can get me on That Guy with the Glasses.com?
I hope to get all the RT Bozos onto That Guy with the Glasses!
DEEP DiSH: How so? On that Inked Reality division they think they're gonna make?
Maybe!
DEEP DiSH: Yeah, guess it's better than nuthin'...
Yeah, If my Cinemark review doesn't get me on Pan's Good Side then the whole TGWTG business certainly-(sniffs) I sense a Disturbance in the force...and it coming from- Are you the DEEP DiSH guy I've been courting to add to my crew?
DEEP DiSH: You courted to join your crew, and it was unsuccessful 'til you managed to show up here with your magic trick. How'd you do that?
Well, I convert my body into electrical energy and I have to find a screen to stay on before I fizzle out of biomass and die so I usually recharge on any electrical gadget with a screen. That was where your Grandma's TV Screen came into the Picture! By the way for every state I made a video in, I pick up a few souvenirs so I hope you can carry them over.
DEEP DiSH: Well, I do all the Hard Work so... will do.
The Downfall of Nintendo (#DInACE)
Intro
This is going to be my most insightful video ever because I have a lot to say on this matter, I love Nintendo and I hope it'll stick around for 100 more years... But it won't unless we have some change upstairs, We're aiming to Kill the Beast ...metaphorically!
Animal Crossing: New Leaf
If you think Animal Crossing New Leaf is a satisfactory Game for the 3DS Lineup, you are sadly mistaken. Here's a Dissatisfied Customer who wants change in Nintendo's Kingdom in terms of her Animal Crossing adventures
The game was fun at the beginning when trying to unlock all the different shops and upgrading my house but once I caught or dug up everything, once all the shops were made, the game just got.... boring. Repetitive. Dull. I get there are people who like this game and I'm sure they probably still like it but I need more substance in the long run. I can't constantly play a game where I only get a few rewards of holidays and such threw out the year to make me want to keep playing. If this had more to do like mini games or some small manner of monster combat like if it was set in an RPG Fantasy world, it would be a lot more fun. As it is, its not my thing.
She Demolished her Town on a tuesday. Sad, All too sad...
Wii U Woes
You wanna know how many Wii U consoles have been sold so far... For the Chrystler, You already know this by now. I would love for Nintendo to make Mario games forever, but I also want the Wii U to be more than my Mario, Kirby or “Insert classic Nintendo character name here” console. I could quite honestly pop four AAs in my (still-working!) original Game Boy for that. I’m not the only one. Times have been tough for Nintendo. The company has been particularly hard hit by the rise of mobile games, which largely appeal to the same kind of lighthearted gamers as Nintendo titles. Comparisons to Sega, which had to switch from being a hardware company to a publisher after poor sales, are everywhere, especially after the company confirmed this week to GamesIndustry.biz that it’s selling the Wii U at a loss.
It's Current offering is Pikmin 3 and Let's face it, It isnt my cup of tea nor is it your. If I'm wrong and It is your cup of tea, I apoligize and more power to ya. But do we really want a new alliteration of Mario Kart or Smash Bros. Especially since all that's been goin' down upstairs. Games like The Wonderful 101, which was developed by Platinum Games and will be published by Nintendo, were great in demos. Nintendo’s also working to make using Wii U’s Game Pad controller a more integral part of the game, rather than the way it’s mostly been used up to this point, which is basically as a more convenient place to keep a map. And they're hoping to create a new franchise by aformentioned Mario Kart 8, That's a change that promises to get them back to Nintendo-like profits by 2014... That is, if it is in fact a new franchise...
Out of Touch with the Internet
Nintendo didn't want Smash to be at EVO at all, and the news that the broadcast was canceled came after a compromise with the EVO officials to at least allow the tournament to take place without the stream. Once the internet found out about this, the negative outcry was so great that Nintendo allowed the game to be streamed.
"Games, Not Art"
Star Fox Adventures is the result of this trope. Originally, the game was to be called Dinosaur Planet and had no ties whatsoever with the Star Fox franchise. Krystal and a male fox were the main characters. But since Nintendo was behind schedule with a Star Fox sequel, they forced Rare into changing the plot and characters around. The male fox was axed, Krystal was aged up and became the Distressed Damsel, and Fox McCloud became the hero of a game that had little to do with what he does best: flying around in space and blasting bad guys. Suffice to say many fans of the franchise still hate this game — even though it's not a bad game per se. But the meddling didn't stop at the concept phase. A rushed release date caused what could have been a climactic boss fight with General Scales to be completely cut. But the cut is extremely unnatural and jarring: the fight actually has its own arena and intro cinematic, and the fight itself actually lasts a second or two before it gets called off, and the player is left confused and wanting.
Super Mario Galaxy had a story built around the game that didn't interfere with the gameplay and gave players an insight on Rosalina's history. Most players liked the concept. However, when the developers tried to do it again for Super Mario Galaxy 2, Shigeru Miyamoto himself stepped in and wanted the story aspect to be scrapped because he wanted the game to be more focused on the gameplay itself like the NES games had done.
If that's not enough, He did it again with Paper Mario Sticker Star, saying a story wasn't needed (even though the RPG games have always been more story-based than the platformers) and requesting that they only use existing Mario characters rather than coming up with new ones. He also felt the game played too much like Thousand Year Door, which led to the battle system being completely revamped. Unfortunately, after the Base Breaking Super Paper Mario, many fans were hoping for a game that returned to the style of the first two games, so Sticker Star was dismissed by us, the fans.
Even the Zelda series has been victim of Miyamoto's story-phobia. Ever since Ocarina Of Time, the developers have tried to include more complex and detailed stories, only to be forced to stop and simplify the plot, even excluding major plot points (the whole point of the story of Four Swords Adventures was being the backstory of A Link To The Past, an idea that had to be scrapped, with the final product taking place sometime after Twilight Princess in the game's timeline (in the Child Link timeline branch) and having nothing to do with A Link to the Past (which is in a completely different timeline branch), which caused the series to have an even more convoluted timeline. Link's Crossbow Training is probably the most tragic example: the developers wanted to develop a full-fledged, epic Zelda game that would be to Twilight Princess what Majora's Mask is to Ocarina of Time, but Miyamoto forbid them from including a epic story—or a story of any sorts, bosses (sans a single one that the developers were allowed to put in after fighting for it), or large and immersive stages. This resulted in what's widely considered the weakest installment in the series (not counting the licensed CD-i games) both by fans and critics alike. Also, because of people uploading the Subspace Emissary cutscenes from Super Smash Bros. Brawl onto the internet, there will be no story cutscenes in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS.
There were many Franchises that were aborted for their Icons. There was a game "Fluff's Yarn", starred a totally new character, Fluff. When the game didn't seem to be turning out very well, Nintendo suggested turning it into a Kirby game which we all know as "Kirby's Epic Yarn" and if that's not enough, Kid Icarus Uprising originally wasn't planned to have anything to do with the Kid Icarus series. Nintendo and Sakurai were just working on a Nintendo 3DS action game involving sky and land combat when they suddenly realized that Pit would be the perfect character for such a title. And once upon a time, an original fighting game with new characters by the name "Dragon King" was in the works. When they brought in Sakurai, he knew that fighting games at the time did not sell very well, he had the idea of using Nintendo characters. That Idea became the Super Smash Bros. Franchise... <Let it Sink in...>
Iwata carefully explained his position on development and Nintendo's role as an entertainment company. Saying that Nintendo makes Games, and that Video Games are not Art. As you can see, He's flipping retarded and he must be destroyed, at all costs. I plan to organize a little resistance movement called the Disney Infinity Allegence Committee of Exploitation or DInACE for short. We plan to hurt your bottom line not because we dispise the folks who rescued the gaming industry. Of course not, we just want you to get better!
<TOM explains Criticism>
And since Iwata-san cant take criticisim we must excrute him from his post and there is only one man to do it... or rather, one mouse.
That's Right, If it isnt obvious by the Acronym, We here at project DInACE Aim to have the Walt Disney Company perchase Nintendo so that they can:
- Remove Iwata from the Company and get some new blood up in management
- Have Disney start a Japanese Branch that will begin the Aquisition of a grocery list of Japanese Studios
- Have Nintendo rise from the ashes of corporate cynacism and make commercially viable games again!
Phase One: The Resistance
The first thing we have to do here is to redirect all Nintendo-Based Investments to Disney Infinity, hitting Nintendo where it hurts. We all accept trading in Nintendo Stocks for Disney Stocks, Here's the Current Exchange Rate as of this Video.
- Disney: $ 63.96
- Nintendo: $ 15.83
- Stock Rate: Around Four
Be sure to check every stinkin' day, the more Nintendo stocks you sell, the lower it's stock prices are gonna be. Back to Disney Infinity, Ranting Robots Bleep and Bloop explain how to get rid of that pesky Wii U fund.
<Disney Infinity Costs>
There are also Power Discs sold in blind packs for around five bucks eaches so boom! The emptied carcass of your entire Wii U Fund burninated one disc at a time. More figures and discs will be coming down the pipe and there are even retailers dealing out exclusive toys for this thing so buy the smeg out of this game, say it's for your kids, bring your actual kids for bonus points, Just buy into this great game because let's face it:
<Infinity Cash Cow>
You can also resist by going to Magic Kingdom Hearts, a special event at Walt Disney World's Not Quite Scary Halloween Party, specifically for fans of other ongoing Disney crossover franchise Kingdom Hearts. So yeah, Neither me nor Deep Dish will be attending for we have our own business to attend to. But we'll do a monthly DInACE Direct where we here at Rebel Taxi give you Information that shall Aid DInACE...Directly. Expect a few special guests from time to time as we dive into the Derp of Iwata San's mind and rescue Nintendo. It'll be greatly appreciated if any one of us were to star in and co-write an episode of South Park, It'll give us some exposure as to who we are and why we will not tone it down...
Phase Two: The Offer
Iwata has stated he'll try to get the company back to Nintendo-like profits by 2014. So if we foil his promise then he'll have to cave in to our demands, It'll take months for the deal to become legally stable so yes, you guys can still have your Kingdom Hearts III...I Hope. We're aiming for a $6.4 Billion dollar deal both in Cash and Disney stocks like in the Lucasfilm Deal and it must have Iwata leaving the company to move on to crack $#!- and I know the perfect place where you can stay when the deal happens... <Hobo Joe>
Step Three: The Rebuild
So now that Disney owns Nintendo, what happens now to all it's assets and properties? Simple, we flat out port 'em over to our ultimate tool that saved the day, Disney Infinity! We get Avalanche to develop a Developer's Kit for their game and ship them to All the 1st and 2nd Party Developers Nintendo owns and relegate them to Disney Infinity because they'd be better off making figurines than developing for an obviously outdated console they've been selling at a loss since it's launch day. I have a Masterplan for all Nintendo Properties should they go through with the big deal. After Nintendo finishes it's final farewell to the Console Market, It will be developing Playsets for Mario and two tastes of the Zelda Franchise (Ocarina and Wind Waker) Intelligent Systems will cook up Playsets for each country in Fire Emblem alongside a better Paper Mario Game. Hal will develop Kirby and Ice Climbers Playsets with Project Sora helping out whilst it Develops a Kid Icarus Playset alongside Smash Bros. for Infinity. Retro Studios would develop Metroid and Donkey Kong Country Playsets, Game Freak has six regions of Pokémon to port over as well as a Possible Seventh to Ring in the new Tools. Speaking of which, The Pokémon Company can develop a Playset for Pokémon's Rumble and Mystery Dungeon Series. Mario Kart, Mario Party, Warioware, the list goes on. But when the well runs dry, We've got Toy Boxes to Polish and a big old treasure trove of stories to adapt for new Playsets and such.
Outro and Events
I would like to thank you for sitting through my evil scheme and I hope you guys can assist in the Events I have planned, There's Magic Kingdom Hearts in October just as I previously mentioned...Then the release of the X-Box One and PS4 will be an event we call "Deep Hurting" In we explain the evils of Nintendo in excruciating detail to Nintendo fans, what little they have left, and sway them to Playstation, X-Box, Mobile Games, PC, anything but Ninty and for every Major Release Nintendo's got in store, we have Boycotts set up too. Pokémon X and Y wll have 'Pistols for Pokémon' Mario 3D World will have 'Rehash Relief' because let's all agree on this one, It's just Mario 3D Land with more Catnip. The Wind Waker HD remake isn't gonna sell consoles so lets call this one 'Heroes of Gaming' in honor of the one true hero of time! And I am afraid that 'The Smashtacular Battle' will be a Super Smash Bros. boycott and there's also a Mario Kart Boycott called 'Sidetracked' and the real punch to the nads here will be 'Occupy Hyrule'. Now that I have officially ruined the night <Awolnation - Kill Your Heroes> and you guys can join said fight not just with Disney Infinity but also with these T-Shirts I plan to make for each occasion. If you love Nintendo and think it could be better then hop aboard Rebel Taxi vs. Nintendo bandwagon and put Iwata-san back in his place!
Fandom Arson
3/7/15
- Food Fight: For being flanderized beyond all recognition and overall redemption, we condemn Mrs Turner to being re-tought the basics of cooking by Miss Akane Tendo. For the overuse of two unfunny jokes solely for the purpose of padding out the episode, we condemn writer -- to eat the results of said cooking. For the stereotypical notion that Fairies act like pop-culture spouting genies, we condemn the characters of Cosmo and Wanda to being sealed up in a slime lamp and an Orange couch respectively for representing everything wrong with Nickelodeon.
- Love Struck: For the homophobic overtones in the special's rancid morals, we condemn director Sarah Frost to be re-incarnated as the head-redded Stepson of Sir Jonathan Test. For the over-the-top clishe interpretation of the men and women of the world, writer Steve Marmel is hereby condemned to be re-incarnated as a blatant lesbian magical girl created as an inept attempt at replicating the awesome that is Homura Akemi. For spreading misaimed sexual behavior, we condemn this show's interpretation of Cupid to witnessing the fairly oddmovies' interpretation of Timmy Turner watching Tootie leave his life forever, whether it be in rage or death.
- Cosmonopoly: For not overseeing the regulation process of Cosmonopoly, the toy company who okayed the distribution of the game is hereby condemned to be taken over by Hasbro. For invoking the Spongebob style of Continuity, we condemn the writers to be guests of honor at a Spongebill YouTube Poop festival. And for not realizing how much Cosmo had ruined Wanda's life with that brief stint of Vehicular Manslaughter, we condemn Billy Crystalball to an episode of This is your Wish featuring Baltor.
- It's A Wishful Life: For storyboarding the purging of the good Timmy's non-existance had blessec the world, we condemn storyboard artist Dave Thomas to five years working at my local Wendy's. For not using the character of Miss Smartenhott in the final draft, we condemn writer -- to --. And for imagining Timmy Turner into existence, We condemn Butch Hartman, I mean: Number 1 to Solitary.
5/4/15
- Tentacollino: For keeping innocent lives away from their loved ones for the rest of time, King Ree is condemned to having the face of notorious Spongebob writer Zeus Cervas in my upcoming CGI sequel of Tentacollino. For trying and failing to recapture the same class of crazy as -rapper dog-'s rap solo in Titanic: The Legend Goes On, we condemn Cletus Razorteeth to become a main cast member of The Fairly OddParents from Season Twelve onward. And for Team Titanic, oh... You get the best punishment for a group with an ending such as yours. See, with your newfound immortality, you cannot grow old to tell your bastardized version of the tale of the Titanic, and without your crazy-arse framing device both movies are seemingly impossible. So you are condemned to helping the development of Los Angeloto on your fruity little Island so that the Doctor can have a badass parking space.
Fandy Handy Dandy Guide Reverse: The Time Traveler's Guide to 2013
Step 1: Those Kooky Hipsters
They like their bands hot before they're cool, so they blog it for the mainstream to see, just keep in mind that these hipsters might be Cultural Authoritarians in the later 2010s, so it's best to keep potential offspring from happening.
Step 2: Party Hardy
The Dark Knight Rises is a popular movie during the summer of this particular year and has naturally spawned a memorable villain, specifically for being a laughing stock in some way, shape or form... In this case, Bane's easily imitable voice.
Step 3: Time Lord Troubles
This is the year Matt Smith jumps ship from the Steven Moffat Lovey-Dovey Crazy Train of a Soap Opera Doctor Who has sadly become at this point in time. So whatever you do, do not spoil Peter Capaldi! Or else ripple effect-related bad vibes are gonna happen.
Step 4: 50 Shades of Lame
Stephanie Mayer's a Kinky little Cougar and an outright obsessive bitch, so avoid her at all costs unless you like the idea being the next shag puppet in her novels. And to be safe, run from anyone who considers 50 Shades of Grey as a work of literature.
Step 5: Star Trek into Yaoi
J.J. Abrams is known as the man who revived Star Trek, Star Wars, and Lyrical Nanoha. But the former of these three franchises were penned by the fuckers behind the Michael Bay Era of the Transformers Franchise and we all know its tied with the Xehanort Saga as one of the most intellectually bankrupt initial eras of a popular franchise ever to grace geek culture.
-Comic-
The answer, of course, is 9/11 Truther propaganda!
Step 6: Waifu Warzone
This is where Fire Emblem explodes in popularity due to the implantation of a Casual Mode, Shipping, Time Travelling Children who act as extra troops, Shipping, DLC featuring the three Smash Bros. Veterans of the Series, Shipping, and Avatar Customization... But mostly Shipping!
Step 7: Twerk it Hard
This is a fad that will be gone by 2020... that is, if you don't manage to fuck it up while you're stranded here! But the longer you recognize it as a thing kids today are probably doing makes you even more disgusted with the world with each passing recall.
Step 8: A Pokemon World
So the world leaders are gathered together in one place to discuss policies, refine trade agreements, and battle pokemon apparently.
Fandy Handy Dandy Guide Reverse: The Time Traveler's Guide to 2014
Fandy Handy Dandy Guide Reverse: The Time Traveler's Guide to 2015
MARVEL VS DC: The Other Guys
Anakin: Hi! I'm a Lucas!
Mickey: And I'm...Confused as all hell? Anakin, what the hell is this-
Anakin: Hot Dog, was January a great month for movies like last January's 'Strange Magic' or what!?
Mickey: What! But that movie bombed at the box office!
Anakin: At least it ain't a Michael Bay Joint! {13 Hours}
Mickey: Seriously, Anakin, you're scaring me here!
Anakin: Of course I remember the Revenant! Why would I forget?
Mickey: You're not willing to talk to me unless I play along, huh?
Anakin: I have a date with a senator, some skittles, and a {The Boy} Six-Year-Old Boy
Mickey: Ugh, please master Jedi Skywalker, tell us what other films await us in January...
Anakin: {Ride Along 2} I wanna die, too!
Mickey: Of course you would feel that after watching {Norm of the North} Rob Schider Cartoons all day.
Anakin: At least it wasn't a gritty Hollywood remake of Uncle {Dirty-} Grandpa!
Mickey: Come on, I was just asking you to go see Kung Fu Panda 3, DreamWorks Really needs the Help.
Anakin: Not as much help as The 5th Wave's gonna need!
(Spiderman and Iron Man are sitting there, watching the mess go down.)
Spiderman: Geez, Tony... How long are they gonna keep this up?
Iron Man: Bout half an hour? Why?
Spiderman: Oh, my god...
Iron Man: Happy third anniversary of the Disney Infinity Announcement.
Spiderman: And Many Mooooore...
HDG-R: What to Expect Smash 5
Opening Comic
Thesis
Step One: Time to Cut the Cheese
Clones are often a No-No when building a Smash Game, so We'll be cutting Lucina and Dark Pit. Capcom's having its share of troubles so we might as well say goodbye to Ryu and Rocky Here... But there's always DLC, am I Right?
Step Two: The comeback Kids
People all over are super pissed that this O'Donnel Chap didn't make it back to Smash 4...
(Squirtle and Young Link Confirmed)
Step Three: This Stage is Just too Small
Ridley deserves a seat in the Roster like the Fine Brothers deserve Subscribers. The fact of the Matter is that if you try scaling him down, then all the fun of the guy would be lost... If you want a Rep for Metroid, I think I know a guy or two...
(Adam Malcovich and Space Marines)
Step Four: Gotta Catch 'Em All!
Step Five: Trophy Tussle
Step Six: Tentpole Overdose
Last time, Mario got two newcomers and a returning Vet. Now its the Zeldaverse's Turn in the limelight. Ghirahim and Demise for Skyward Sword, Young Link for Majora's Mask and for Windwaker, we have...
(Tetra in a realistic bod.)
Step Seven: New Tentpole Overdose
Step Eight: Can't Beat the Classics
Do you know what I miss in gaming, Fellow Kids?
(DK Jr. Confirmed)
Step Nine: Spinning Off the Deep End
The Big Fairy Share Scare
inspired by HALF IN THE BAG
Mr Enter: Nickelodeon is no longer on life support, It is Dead! It's time to move on and leave this sh-t in the past with any of the dignity it has left behind!
Hot Damn, that Funeral Sucked!
(Sans, Abba, and Shadow are in the Cosby Comet)
Sans: So, you're doing a Fairly OddParents Marathon?
Abba: That's basically the Idea.
Sans: Thank fucking God! That fucking minstrel show's existence was probably designed to get worse and worse over time...
Abba: So, basically it's Family Guy.
Sans: Yep. (Canned Laughter)
DeeP DiSH: Hot Damn, that funeral sucked ass! (Cheers)
Sans: Huh... welp, welcome back, Mr. DeeP DiSH. How was Yllesse?
DeeP DiSH: Oh, the usual, Plegians invading, Computer Viruses Manifesting, and just because I showed a high class lady a single slice of pizza, I had to order, like, eighteen boxes of the stuff when she ended up six feet under.
Abba: W-WHAT!
DeeP DiSH: Yeah, Big-arse shake-up in the haildom... Em's Dead.
Abba: Oh, Man...
Shadow: You do realize the urgency of this troublesome time, Mr. DeeP DiSH...
DeeP DiSH: Yeah, the transitional period's gonna be a bad time for ol' Chrom... Not that it directly matters to us... Wanna know what does?
Thesis
Abba: Yes, you are seeing this brilliantly-symbolic bastardization of a catchy theme tune correctly, Butch Hartman has failed yet again at producing a show that can survive the Viacom Slaughterhouse and as punishment for thinking he can express himself freely, he is forced by Viacom to produce the tenth and hopefully final season of the Fairly Oddparents against the will of the cast, the crew, and most especially the fans!
Two Halves of a single episode
Abba: These are two separate episodes...
DeeP DiSH: Wut?
Abba: Share Scare, it's just two separate episode scripts hastily strung together by Butch Hartman's Storyboarding talents to create a proper ratings trap for Nickelodeon. Like, say, with the monster thing, Chloe might have been fixing the School Bus at her old school in this half of an episode which had broken down... but it ends up exploding upon ignition and that would have been the flashback, but since they had to stitch two scripts together,
#41: "Video Game References" (Teen Titans Go!)
THiN CRUST: I'm pretty sure you remember our rebuttle of Sonic Boom from the previous Arson... (shows clip from the previous clip.) Well, that's because... I hate bad reboots. "The Looney Tunes Show", "Sailor Moon Crystal", "Sonic X", "Teen Titans Go", "Yo Yogi", "Quack Pack", "New 52", "the Amazing Spider-Man". Heck, Not even Disney's Innocent in this trade, from Maleficent to The Jungle Book to the concept of the freaking Underland, they're under the delusion that they can recreate the Marvel Cinematic Universe out of their animated classics. You better hope to christ that the Night on Bald Mountain movie is your Avengers, Disney or so help me, I'll be praying for the devil himself, Churnabog, to eradicate every last one of those shit reboots. Especially the shitstains Viacom's left on the carpet for us to clean up from J.J. Abrams dissatisfaction with Star Trek to the acquisition of the Ninja Turtles building up to a Michael Bay Movie and a new cartoon that acts like Teen Titans but- (Clip of DonnieXApril) Yeah, we'll be tearing that show apart some day soon.
DeeP DiSH: But by far, the biggest offense is that a man who thinks that cartoons are stupid is given the keys to a comedy-oriented re-interpetation of a 2000s DC Classic: Teen Titans Go! And their hasty writing, cheap animation, and overall immature nature towards its periferary demographic who grew up with the Titans just goes to show why the DC Universe these days ain't giving us nice things... Like Action Cartoons. Ladies and Gentlemen of the Mob, Time to RiOT loose with a Fandom Arson of Teen Titans Go! Episode --: "Video Game References" Belts up, Gang! We've gotta get acquainted with our latest regular customer.
#42: Super Smash Bros.
Once upon a time, there was a boy by the name of Artemis Haze, he had a wide collection of Nintendo toys.
#43: Gadget 2.0. (Inspector Gadget 2015)
#44: Hose Water (Teen Titans Go!)
THiN CRUST: I'm pretty sure you remember our rebuttle of Sonic Boom from the previous Arson... (shows clip from the previous clip.) Well, that's because... I hate bad reboots. "The Looney Tunes Show", "Sailor Moon Crystal", "Sonic X", "Teen Titans Go", "Yo Yogi", "Quack Pack", "New 52", "the Amazing Spider-Man". Heck, Not even Disney's Innocent in this trade, from Maleficent to The Jungle Book to the concept of the freaking Underland, they're under the delusion that they can recreate the Marvel Cinematic Universe out of their animated classics. You better hope to christ that the Night on Bald Mountain movie is your Avengers, Disney or so help me, I'll be praying for the devil himself, Churnabog, to eradicate every last one of those shit reboots. Especially the shitstains Viacom's left on the carpet for us to clean up from J.J. Abrams dissatisfaction with Star Trek to the acquisition of the Ninja Turtles building up to a Michael Bay Movie and a new cartoon that acts like Teen Titans but- (Clip of DonnieXApril) Yeah, we'll be tearing that show apart some day soon.
DeeP DiSH: But by far, the biggest offense is that a man who thinks that cartoons are stupid is given the keys to a comedy-oriented re-interpetation of a 2000s DC Classic: Teen Titans Go! And their hasty writing, cheap animation, and overall immature nature towards its periferary demographic who grew up with the Titans just goes to show why the DC Universe these days ain't giving us nice things... Like Action Cartoons. Ladies and Gentlemen of the Mob, Time to RiOT loose with a Fandom Arson of Teen Titans Go! Episode --: "Hose Water" Belts up, Gang! We've gotta get acquainted with our latest regular customer.
#45: Finding Emo (FOP)
#46: Robopeck (Back at the Barnyard)
#47: Jimmy Timmy Power Hour (FOP)
Well, if it isn't the Fairly OddParents Equivilent to Atlantis Squarepantis.
#48: Disney Infinity 2.0.
Part 1: The Toy Box and its Games
Disney Infinity 2.0. been in circulation for nearly a year now, which means it's time for our midseason tradition of dissecting the world of the Toy Box and its new offerings. We've nailed together... or rather, I've nailed together a format for these specific reviews. We'll be starting with the Toy Box this time around and all the New Toys it has to offer. Well, for starters, there are new road pieces, new blocks, new skydome-and-terrain combos, and new Non-Existance for the Toy Vault, Replaced with a fancy Toy Store because lets not fool ourselves. (Nostalgia Critic: I *Bleep* Hate Biodome) Though, granted, These Baby steps are to be expected, I do hope there's room for improvement in 3.0. just as there is for the new INteriors function from this particular version. What the Nuts, A separate Folder?! (BLEEP) Dat Noise, I'm goin' to Grizzlebees!
Well at least the Creativitoys are still operational indoors. And they've gotten themselves an upgrade.
-Assault on Asgaurd-
-Escape from the Kylm-
-Stitch's Tropical Rescue-
-Brave Forest Siege-
Part 2: Playsets
-Avengers Playset-
-Spiderman Playset-
-Gaurdians of the Galaxy Playset-
-Toy Box Exclusive Characters-
-Theoretical Big Hero 6 Playset-
-Theoretical Wreck-It Ralph Playset-
-Theoretical Toy Story that Time Forgot-
Part 3: An Open Letter to John Vignocchi
Hey, John. It's Alex. I decided to write this open letter to you and the rest of The Walt Disney Company as a loud cry to see if you'd be willing to lend an ear to our cause. Precisely one year ago, We explained why and How Disney Infinity can be used to tell a heartwarming story using the Don Bluth Principle of 'Kids can take Just about Anything as long as it has a happy ending.' while taking it to its logical conclusion. Its now one year on and you're ready to roll out the final major brand Disney has in its Arsenal of IP, Ready to move onto producing the next chapter. To be honest, one of your hosting First Party Companies, Nintendo, they're in talks to begin a new chapter themselves. And their definition of 'the next chapter' is anything but 'more of the same' unlike most companies. Because let's face it, there are more people in the industry that care more about selling toys than telling stories, but Nintendo is a company that's been there and done that longer than Uncle Walt has been alive. Think about that for a second. Nintendo has existed longer that Walter Elias Disney, let alone the concept of Video Games.
Nintendo's actually more like Disney than the actual company. The irony is... Nintendo was generations ahead of them. See, Each Generation of Disney ages like wine. It has a pretty stellar taste at first, but when it ultimately turns sour towards the end with horrible Idea after horrible Idea, It's safe to say it's time to swap out the head honcho in favor of a new kid on the block. We've seen it with Michael Eisner's Direct-To-Video Sequel Shenanagans. And as much as we don't like to admit it, the live action re-imaginings of Already Iconic Disney Classics. That's Mister Iger's cue to get out and make room for a new bossman. Let's hope Tom Staggs or whoever else might be capable of filling Rob's shoes because if you don't pull yourself together, You might just fade into the ether like you almost did with Cinderella. I don't want that to happen, you own Marvel, You own Star Wars, You own Mickey Mouse for god's sake! The bench you guys have is really fraggin' deep, and the fact that executives keep you away from fully taping into said deep bench and instead focusing more onto the new additions to the deep bench is really draining in the hope department if you catch my drift.
The Fact is that Nintendo is older than any American entertainment company, There's you guys, but then there's Warner Bros., Viacom, Screen Gems, Sony, Even Universal Believe it or not. Nintendo is the only company in the business of entertainment to have originated in the 1800s, try wrapping your head around that. and it's because of that sense of longevity that the Boss has pretty much decided to go 'Nintendotarian' and thus is only willing to play Nintendo Games and buy Nintendo Things and nothing else, he's even sworn off American movies entirely. because you followed the routine. You imitate, because you're afraid to innovate. Hell, Even Skylanders Innovates. You cobble together penis-envy explosions into a 90 minute toy commercial and you call it a feature film. Allowing Ariel to outlive the heroine of the original story by Hans Christen Anderson, Toys. Ignoring things such as natural character development in favor of aforementioned penis envy explosions, Toys. Ripping Off FoodFight and puking video games into it, Toys. The Paint-By-Numbers Plot of the Haunted Mansion Movie, Toys. The Cars Franchise Existing, Toys. Live-Action Re-Interpetations, Toys. Film Studios Act like Toy Companies in an effort to push ticket sales and keep the roof over their heads, Disney Used to be the exception to this, Making Money to make the movies he wanted to make... But not anymore.
There's no more personal touches in movies these days, the whole system's run by a corporate mass of shareholders who think they know what demographics want, and time and again with the backlash with 'Teen Titans Go!' 'Mr. Pickles' and 'Family Guy' and through the success of 'Gravity Falls', 'Steven Universe', 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic', and yes... Even the not one, but two massive multiplayer crossover franchises you have under your belt... The Customer has proved that it's always right and demographic charts are always wrong. It's not what they show on the outside with layers of special effects and, for lack of a better word, Pingas-Envy Explosions, but the memorable characters and the journey that these particular characters go through. Quality of Quantity, The Boss would often say. But you're pre-occupied these days with trying to top pigs with pigs and as a wiseman knew from experience, that's a bad idea if there ever was one. If Frozen 2's plot's as predictable as we've expected, You're probably going to learn the hard way. And with the world as our stage, the public will know how sour the company has gotten. Not because we despise this company, far from it, we want it to get better. (TOM: Criticism serves a healthy function, sometimes it can help you get better. That's because it comes from a good place.) People call out your shortcomings because we know for a fact that with the money you've got in your vault, you can do better. People rag on Time Warner because Disney needs viable competition because let's not fool ourselves, DreamWorks was never fit to be in the same ranks as you to begin with. We openly beat on Viacom... Because it does not deserve to exist. (Irwin: I have no Friends)
But the point of the matter is, There's a Way you can redeem yourselves, a way to use the Toy Box universe as the perfect tool for storytelling that it can potentially be. And I happen to have sent it to you guys already, by the time you watch this video. I conclude my message with the words of Another Wiseman, 'there's a storm coming in, you either evolve or perish'. It's your choice, guys. Because the Boss is more than happy to let you guys rot away into nothing like so many other companies out there. And It's not just for this very game, Its for the movies as well. I hear you're remaking the aformentioned Haunted Mansion Movie. It's a simple fix, really. You utalize the plot in the ride as a backstory and have the butler be a living decendant of the killer, Madame Leota. And for Maleficent 2, go balls to the wall and be creative with this character, prove to us that this Maleficent can at least be up to par with the Mistress of All Evil we've come to know and love. And in terms of keeping your animated classics relevant in the modern age, how about you just re-release them on Streaming Services so that when the corresponding Live Action Re-Interpetation fails to please, at least they can go back to it to watch again and again.
Because Like with this very game, Disney Infinity, The Possiblities are Endless. You guys are ready to roll out the third generation of the building blocks we have used to build our own adventures that you deem worthy of upholding the creativity of this company that has touched so many hearts, united so many families, created so many memories. To put it bluntly, Uncle Walt said this and said it well: 'If you can Dream it, You can Do it!' Again, I am praying that you look inside, and lord knows that plenty of fans are praying too, Remember the man who made you who you are, Because unlike the Boss, I still have hope for this deep bench of a conglomerate. After all, The success and fame you've garnered in the past, it was all brought to you by one man. One soul. One heart that acts as the drill to create the heavens, and as you always say, this entertainment company/heaven-creating drill started with a mouse.
#49:
#50: Sonic Boom X (Re-Imaginating)
#60: Arc Rise Fantasia
THiN CRUST: This Season was a whirlwind of Suffering, I sat through two of the shittiest shows that are still on the air today, our weekly schedule was comprimised by our co-head writer being screwed over by a freak rainstorm, I was kidnapped by my old boss who's somehow an angel of darkness now, And my relationship with Mr DeeP DiSH has been through hell and back merely through the limitations of my computer. But if there's one thing we've got, it's a light at the end, something to congratulate us on a season well done.
DeeP DiSH: And the game I decided to pick for our final dive into the abyss? Arc Rise Fantasia,
#Q: Marville Livewire
Issue 8: Lock and Key
- Young Xehanort and Eraqus joins the group on orders from Ted Turner VII to protect the universe from Remake!King Stephan's Ghost posessing his Wife Jane Fonda XIII via Bobsheaux's Box.
- Ted Turner and Jane Fonda are playing Duel Monsters on Motorcycles while the Rest of the Livewires are on A Skateboard (Haxidecimal), Snow Skis (Hollowpoint Ninja), Rollerskates (Social Butterfly), A Radio Flyer (Gothic Lolita), And a Unicycle (Cornfed)
- Thirteen Pages in, The Livewires arrive at Al's Camping Tent (The Mansion was lost to the crap economy.)
- A Giant Gunman with an enormous pointed phallic cleft follows them into the past.
- The comic ends with Eraqus realizing the true nature of their new mecha bodies and Hax trying to cheer him up with a thing the future does not have: "Clean Underwear!"
Issue 9
Issue 10
Issue 11
Issue 12
Issue 13
WHATCULTURE
7 things from the past ten years that will utterly depress you
7. Twitch Plays Pokemon has better writers than most children's cartoons
6. The Death of Saturday Morning Cartoons
5. Robocop's Reboot features barely any Robocop!
The Robocop you've come to know was red hot as the blood it splattered across cinema screens everywhere! It sported a colorful cast of characters and a strong moral message that makes it all the more awesome for the adults who were to consume it.
This newfangled Robocop is nothing more than a bunch of copypasted characters. The only absentee was the kickass girl cop who was required to be out of commission so that the lead can save her, since the only woman on the force was replaced by Axel Foley clone No. 1221. Robocop's Chrome plating was replaced with nothing but black with the occasional dark gray for the sake of contrast. And need we remind you of the PG-13 Rating they were forced to implement?
4. Duke Nukem Forever
Imagine if you will, you waited for the Force Awakens for quite a long time and you were promised an early glimpse at the new Star Wars feature, blindly believing it to be The Force Awakens... But it's revealed to be Jar-Jar Binks starring in a New Star Wars Holiday Special!
3. Video Games have become a Floundering Industry
2. A World Without Toonami
1. The Hamburglar is a better Human than You!
Imagine if you will, a quiet suburban home where a quite handsome man spends some quality time with his wife and son, meat patties on the barbecue, flipping 'em in a hammy fashion when he receives word that a recovering McDonald's is offering an Angus Third-Pound burger for a limited time.
Naturally, A man like him would want to try one during this rare opportunity. So he gears up in a trenchcoat, red gloves, striped shirt and a cheezy black Zorro Mask that might have made him look cute back in his portly 'ol childhood days but now makes him as menacing as you'd expect out of such a well-built person of his stature.
In case you were wondering, this man is the Hamburglar, having grown up and moved on with his life since last we saw the guy in 2002: Thirteen Years Ago! And now you realize that if you fall under the category of 'privileged white 30-something man-child weeaboo loser'. You have now realized that the Hamburglar, a freakin' HR Puffinstuf-esque character from a goddamn fast-food restaurant chain was treated nicely by puberty, got himself a wife, complete with offspring, and lived a pretty decent middle-class lifestyle while Anita Sarkeesian regularly yells at you to treat women in video games seriously atop the groaning bodies of the Gamers that don't fall into the aforementioned category of '-category-'. It's sad to see how low the bottom of the masculinity barrel has gotten over the past fifteen years.
7 Essential Tips for Kingdom Hearts to Pull its act together
Intro
Kingdom Hearts has proven to be one of Square Enix's biggest cash cow franchises under its belt that isn't either A)-Final Fantasy, B)-A European/American Franchise or C)-Final Fantasy Seven. But there's this looming problem that's basically acted as a thorn on the brand's side, not alot of new fans are getting into the franchise. Even with the two HD Collections they've developed, Nomura's favorite pet project is still facing stagnant growth.
7. Reboot that sonnabitch!
Kingdom Hearts has lured fans in with a sense of mystery, answers would be provided but the game would aimlessly throw in new questions to keep the ruse up. But It was when they utilized the concept of Time Travel that we realized the shtick wasn't funny anymore. So what do you do for a mindless rollercoaster of mindfuckery? Simple, Torch the canon and run!
6. Two Worlds, One Family
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There has to be an at least visible divide between the Disney side and Square Enix's cast of characters. I'd propose
5. A trip into the Toy Box
You may think it's a joke, but we are far from joking.
With Disney Infinity, it's possible to mix and match franchises in an internal storyline within the Safety of the Toy Box where the established canon is worth precisely dick.
