Why You Should Destroy The Planet Earth

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Revision as of 22:39, 23 March 2012

So you're an aspiring Omnicidal Maniac, alien invader, or plain old disgruntled Mad Scientist or Evil Sorcerer and want to destroy the planet Earth, or at least Kill All Humans? Good for you! However, to avoid being a gauche Generic Doomsday Villain, why not get yourself a proper motivation to destroy humanity from among the items on this list?

Because Humans Are Bastards

1. 1. Humans are warlike, and it's better to kill 'em before they kill you!
   2. In point of fact: They killed your leader!
   3. Not only that, they have a school in space dedicated to teaching kid geniuses how to destroy you.
   4. Because humanity poses a real threat to your Hidden Space-Elf Village.
   5. Humans are destroying the planet Earth's ecosystem, so killing all humans will save the planet... oh wait, if you destroy the planet, it will also destroy the ecosystem. Well, at least they won't be able to spread like weeds throughout the galaxy, ruining countless other ecosystems.
   6. After creating your race, they've been bad parents.
   7. In fact, they enslaved your robotic/genetic ancestors after creating them.
   8. They'll destroy themselves anyway, so why not do it strike:humanely alienly?
   9. Because it will help patch up relations with neighboring aliens.
   10. Because they invented pop music, Disco or Rap.
   11. Because humans are an inferior race and their existence disturbs the serenity and peace of your wise, benevolent, and in every way more advanced culture. If you wait too long the humans will be ungrateful for being shown your obvious superiority.
   12. Because a band of bratty teenagers found some hand grenades and blew up some of your people. Who knows what the rest of them might do?
   13. Worse yet - because they invented TV Tropes.
   14. Because they even have sites discussing the reasons for their own destruction!

Because AliensAreBastards

1. 1. It would bring ProudWarriorRace glory to your race.
   2. Because HumansAreSpecial humanity poses a potential threat to your EvilEmpire.
   3. Because your ten thousand year old empire cannot tolerate any [[Template:Traveller other race learning the secret of interstellar travel and forming an empire of its own]].
   4. NeglectfulPrecursors After creating humanity, you just want to mess with them.
   5. AbusivePrecursors You created humanity to mess with them.
   6. AlienVsPredator Because the aliens you planted on the planet eons ago have escaped, so GoneHorriblyWrong kill them before they can spread any further.
   7. Because HumansAreUgly humans are just plain hideous.
   8. [[Template:Iji Because other aliens have destroyed every other planet already.]]
   9. For reasons your PunyEarthlings puny mind wouldn't BlueAndOrangeMorality understand.
   10. Because you are collecting GalacticConqueror conquests.
   11. For the ForTheEvulz pure joy of it.
   12. ButForMeItWasTuesday We destroyed InsignificantLittleBluePlanet an "Earth"?
   13. FantasticRacism Because humans are a blight ScaryDogmaticAliens and the universe must be cleansed of impurity.
   14. DisproportionateRetribution Because you got a traffic ticket last time you visited Earth and are HairTriggerTemper real sore about it.
   15. Because your reasons are utterly incomprehensible.

Because Aliens are EldritchAbomination alien. And HordeOfAlienLocusts hungry

1. 1. ImAHumanitarian Humans taste ToServeMan yummy.
   2. PlanetEater The Planet Earth tastes yummy.
   3. [[Template:Starcraft Their planet is contaminated by another alien species]].
   4. Because Earth is SarcasmMode clearly a hideous DeathWorld with a poisonous atmosphere and creatures nothing short of EldritchAbominations. It is StarfishAliens your race's NecessarilyEvil duty to eliminate this terror from the universe.
   5. Because humans (or their OurSoulsAreDifferent souls or something) PoweredByAForsakenChild make a good power source, say perhaps because your race can PuellaMagiMadokaMagica harvest the energy of their emotions by engaging in vaguely DealWithTheDevil Faustian bargains with humans, and destroying the Earth is the fastest way to get all all those little emotions.

OmnicidalManiac Because You Can.

1. 1. Because BreakTheCutie you had a bad day, TheWoobie everyone hates or bullies you, and GodIsEvil God and CrapsackWorld the world are TheChewToy bent on making you suffer, while being unable to commit suicide alone, and WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds the only way to make it stop is SuicidalCosmicTemperTantrum subjecting all to euthanasia. Waaaaaah! Or getting ThereAreNoTherapists therapy, but that's expensive.
   2. ForScience! ... or because everybody expects you to.
   3. LooneyTunes Because it obstructs your view of Venus.
   4. Because it's in the way of a HitchhikersGuide hyperspace bypass.
   5. Because you need to create a hyperspace shortcut so JusticeLeague you can attack your enemy's homeworld directly.
   6. Because TheyCalledMeMad they called you mad. You'll show them, YOU'll SHOW THEM ALL!!!' Muwahahahahahaha!!!!! They may not have been wrong, though...
   7. Because IfICantHaveYou if you can't have it, nobody will!
   8. Because KatamariDamacy you had too much to drink. Admit it, already!
   9. Because it's ButForMeItWasTuesday Tuesday.
   10. Because you're bored and PastimesProvePersonality need something to do . I think everyone should destroy a planet at least once. EvilFeelsGood It is so invigorating.
   11. Because NietzscheWannabe life is meaningless, morality a sham and love, hope and dreams are illusions of a deluded mind! Therefore the only worthwhile purpose left is to destroy everything and SuicidalCosmicTemperTantrum put an end to the pointless suffering that is existence!!!
   12. [[TabletopGame/Template:Warhammer 40000 Because you ran out of other stuff to fight.]]
   13. Because you are VictoryIsBoring bored conquering other races, you are ChallengeSeeker seeking a challenge and earth contains the HumansAreWarriors only race in the galaxy worth the bother of destroying.

And of course, it's absolutely possible to MikeNelsonDestroyerOfWorlds destroy the planet Earth, or some other world, purely by accident.

AC: Off site references: %% Aren't we encyclopedic now?

• qntm.org has [such a list].