How we are all so gay

From The Extended Group

Current revision as of 03:48, 24 February 2007

How we are all so gay is an extremely hard to explain phenomenon that occurs whenever particular group members gather resulting in extremely questionable homoerotic activity, despite the overwhelming majority of heterosexual males in the group.

Origins

The origins of open, homoerotic activity within the group are spotty at best. Most likely, it was no singular event that triggered the group's tendency for questionable male on male affection. Rather, this shift in attitudes probably happened on a more individual basis and was subsequently fostered by the generally open minds of group members.

There are opposing views on how this all started - Some speculate that it was the group's initial (and some may argue, continuing) status as an outcast or fringe group that led to the rapidly expanding homosexual tendencies of the group during high school and college. Often rejected or ignored by females during these critical periods, it makes sense that group members would turn to one another for physical comfort. Others (like this author) would argue that the whole 'acting gay' originated as a joke to make the more resistant group members uncomfortable that soon grew out of hand and assumed a place of prominence and seriousness in hangouts.

It is interesting to plot the general increase in risque-ness that the group has witnessed. In the beginning, it is hard to believe that taboo activity once included basic hugs, taking into account the fact that now, hand-holding and spooning are quite common among the more willing group members.

Typical Homoerotic Behavior

• Excessive hugging
• Hand-holding
• General lack of personal space
• Verbal flirtation (this, above most other activities, is made clear to be a joke)
• Thigh touching or slapping
• Butt slapping
• Pig Piles
• Hair touching
• Loving speech (esp affectionate nicknames)
• Shoulder leaning
• Incidental genital touching
• Eskimo like face snuggling
• Nipple grabbing
• Blind wrestling

Key Locations

For social reasons, it is oftentimes preferable for group members to express homosexual tendencies in more private locales.

Some spots where homosexual activity is generally highest are:

• The Talking Room
• Jeremy's Big Room
• The Tube at That Park By Terry's House
• Various group member's cars. Especialy Jeremy's Van and Brett's Honda
• Our Nordheim Court Apartments, particularly Jeremy and Terry's
• Andy's TV

Perpetrators of Group Homoeroticism

Those that have perpetuated this tendency have been many and, like their personalities, have done so in very different ways.

• Kevin - Is usually cited as the creator of the overtly sexual thigh grab. Also well known for nipple grabbing.
• Terry - Prone to hugging and unusual closeness with other group members. May be considered the gayest member? Things look suspicious because of his penchance for male bodybuilding magazines.
• Brett - Particular to hand holding, thigh grabbing, and verbal flirtation, especially in romantic settings, like long car rides at night while listening to make out music.
• Jeremy - Oftentimes is found spooning, hand holding, thigh touching and hugging. Around people he's comfortable with, shows no signs of shame.
• Melvin - Melvin is found very regularly making verbal allusions to male on male blowjobs, anal sex and handjobs, usually with Jamie or Terry.
• Rama - Raised to be very physical with everybody, Rama is often hugging other members. Originator of the "Rama Lean", where Rama will intentionally rest a huge amount of his body weight on another group member and then initiate normal activity, as if the sudden loss of personal space and sometimes the ability to breathe have not happened.

Resistors to Group Homoeroticism

Obviously, the largest resistance to group homoerotic activity has come from a blatantly disagreeing society. But, this is not to say that the entire group is completely polarized in one direction. Key figures through the years have put up great verbal and physical resistance to the group's particular brand of friendly affection.

• Lukas - Historically, Lukas has always been somewhat resistant to such homoerotic activity, but generally would not make a big fuss about it, unless Terry jumped on his back (to which he would respond with a mighty heave)
• Gavin - Though in the beginning and for several years after the extended group was more or less crystallized, Gavin was highly vocal against homosexual behavior, he seems to now have embraced that side of group culture, and is more than willing to offer a hug, or backrub, or gentle pat on the head.
• Jamie - Jamie has historically been very averse to homosexual behavior - often pushing away potential male hugs with a forceful shove and disgusted noises. He has softened somewhat, and now accepts hugs with only minor dissatisfaction and will freely take part in the Everybody Touches Everybody Game.
• Stuart - Through most of high school, affection would 'make Stuart wonder'.
• Jason - An anecdote - One day during lunch, when Terry expressed his interest in musicals, Jason loudly yelled, "THAT'S HOMO!" - an event that, incidentally, gave birth to his most beloved catchphrase. Jason is also a vocal critic of Jeremy Pulling His Shirt Over His Shoulder
• Owen - Usually calls other group members fags in an outrage, but then proceeds to give large, affectionate hugs coupled with the words, "Hey, you're a good guy".
• Jordan - Tended to turn away from such actions but when the hugging or other gesture was initiated by Terry, he continued it with out question.

See Also

• What Gay Men Do
• List of Jason Catchphrases
• "Hi, Dad - We were just Blind Wrestling"