Perform a paratrooper roll as you hit the ground

From Thread 1

With expert timing, you execute a perfect paratrooper roll by landing on the side of your legs and rolling to absorb the impact. Still, from 30 feet up you are in some pain, but nothing is broken. Lying on the ground (without pants on), staring up at the sky, you contemplate your next move.

Do you:

• Get up and steal some pants hanging on a neighbor's line to dry
• Run quickly to the nearest trailer and knock for help
• Cover yourself with an empty Ham's cardboard 6 pack holder
• Find religion from your ordeal and run right over to Revend Hamish's 24 hour salvation shack