Mike

From Superdickery

Mike, whose real name is Thomas Wayne, is the creator of Superdickery.com and father of Jesus.

He is thought to look and talk like Captain Hero, probably due to his avatar. He despises monkeys, as it is well-known that Mike is something of a practicing mad scientist who experiments on them daily. He refers to them as evil little bastards and kills them at any chance he gets. This is why he may never return to the zoo.