Drunk
From Superdickery
"You know what they say about sunrise..."
Being drunk is the state of being innebriated.
When drunk, your speeling skills might decraese and only yu can unnertand wwhat you're tpying. This is the Kris method of being drunk.
When drunk, you might be able to act totally clue, and no one will know until you tell them. When you do tell them, people will worship you for it, because you're so awesome. This is the Mike method of being drunk.
When drunk, you might be really giddy, and super happy, and it's possible you won't remember the stuff you do or say, but just basic outlines of everything. This is the Virgie method of being drunk.
When drunk, you might find yourself picking fights with inanimate objects, as long as they make sounds, produce light, or can be turned on and off. You'll also find yourself picking fights with people you know can beat your ass into the ground, but will pass up fights with people you know you can win a fight against. This is the DiscipleJohn method of being drunk.
When drunk, you might find that your "Talk Shit" skills have a +10 bonus. Due to having some weird skill that lets you get a natural 20 on all "Sarcastic" skills, this makes you obnoxious, but only when annoyed. This angers some people, but most of them back down, because for some reason your voice gets real scary. Other people will attack you anyhow, because you shouldn't have been calling their mother Pandora, because her box unleased the horror that is them onto the world. Well, the smart ones will. The other guys will attack you because you say that their shoes look like shit, which explains why their breath is so bad. This is the Virgil method of being drunk.
When drunk, you might find that you lose complete and total loss of all your motor functions, can't see straight, lose all inhibitions, and are easily taken advantage of. This is the American Female Teenager method of being drunk, as well as the American Sorority Girl method of being drunk.
When drunk, you might pass out, and find that your wallet has been stolen, and you have no idea who did it. When you get home, you find out it was your wife, whose duties are management of household finances. This is the Japanese method of being drunk.
When drunk, you might find out that everything you could do sober is instantly improved, and being sober makes you a hollow shell of a man. While many people believe this to be the Alcoholic method of being drunk, it is actually the Russian method of being drunk.
When drunk, you might find yourself speaking languages that don't really exist. This is also the Kris method of being drunk.
When drunk, you'll find yourself believing that you are invincible, and that 120 mph in a suburban neighborhood while school's letting out just isn't fast enough. This is known as the Young Male Jackass method of being drunk.
When drunk, you could find yourself attracted to people you really shouldn't be attracted to, and we're not talking coyote ugly, we're talking about them being insane. For instance, both Laura Arnold and one of Virgil's aunts share this method. For the same person too.
When drunk, you might go online, rant about your favorite fictional character, annoy everyone, and get suspended for a day on 4 different but related websites. Then you might go to sleep and throw up in your bed but not care about it and therefore spread more vomit around as you sleep in it. This is the Drink method of being drunk.
When drunk, you may do something you regret. Such as kissing the bride on her wedding day and getting a love bite from her... This is also the Kris method of being drunk.
When drunk, you may become very smooth to ladies and attractive to them, but become a complete, utter, and total asshole to males. You may also start to pun profusely, and wake up the next morning in strange bed, with a hot chick. This is Threepwood's method of being drunk.
None of you have been as drunk as Disciplejohn. He was lit on fire three times in one night.
