Spoiler
From Superdickery
Revision as of 15:27, 19 May 2007
A character from DC comics. Real name Stephanie Brown.
Her biography for dummies:
Steph: My dad is an evil supervillain, so I will dress up as a superhero to fight him!
Robin: You're cute! Let's team up and date!
Steph: OK.
Robin: I love you, but I hope you're not too disappointed, for me it's "No sex before marriage".
Steph: Ah, that's all right. By the way, I'm pregnant.
Robin: ?!?
Robin: I love you, but I will never tell you my real name or show you my face without mask.
Batman: Hey Spoiler, I want you to bring this message to Robin. His name is Tim Drake. Here is his address.
Robin: How could you tell my real name to the girl I love? I quit being your sidekick!
Batman: Sure, sure. Than I will train Spoiler instead.
Steph: Hurray! Now I'll become a real superhero!
Batcave: You're not allowed to enter. Go home.
Steph: Since Batman has suddenly quit training me and locked me out, I'll start stalking him till he gives me an explanation.
Batman: You don't have the skills or the talent to be in my team. Go home.
Steph: But...but...
Robin: My father has discovered that I'm Robin. I've promised him to quit superheroing. Oh, and I've good a new girlfriend.
Batman: Hm. Where do I get a new Robin?
Steph: Hey, I mysteriously managed to enter the Batcave in my self-made new Robin costume!
Batman: Welcome in the team, Robin!
Steph: Hurray! It's a dream come true!
Batman: In our last mission you disobeyed one of my orders. You're fired.
Steph: But...but...
Steph: I'll show him I'm a real hero! I'll start a gang war in which hundreds of people will die so he understands I can contribute to make Gotham City a safer place for everybody!
Black Mask: Hey Batman! I've captured and tortured your last sidekick, the Spoiler! Now I'll kill her! Then I will be as famous as the Joker!
Batman: Excuse me, what? Who is this "Spoiler" you're talking about?
Black Mask:...
Steph: Ha! I've managed to free myself! I want to kill you, Black Mask! But that's something a hero doesn't do, right?
Black Mask: Take your time! Think about it carefully!
Steph: (thinking hard)
Black Mask (shoots her): Luckily, she didn't knock me unconscious before she started to think!
Batman: Don't worry, Stephanie. I've found you! I'll take you to a hospital! Everything will be all right! Well, besides the fact that you are dying, of course.
Steph: But I will be remembered, won't I? I really was Robin? I will be part of the legend?
Batman (crosses fingers): Of course. (Manages not to start chuckling.)
Robin: Wow, what a gang war! But now everything's over, right? How's Steph doing?
Batman: Tim, that girl was a very bad influence. You should be glad she is not part of your life anymore.
Robin: What are you talking about? How is she?
Batman: She had to...leave. She didn't leave a message. I think it's all for the best.
Robin: What?
Batman: Oh, screw it, if you really want to know, she's ****ing dead.
Robin: Hm. Ah, well, in that case, let's just forget her.
