Hungarians
From Speakeasy
Contents |
People
Hungarian people came to Europe from some unknown Eastern locale about 1,000 years ago. They kicked a lot of ass, but eventually were forced to settle down. They lost most of the wars they got dragged into, something which pisses a lot of them off or causes a lot of depression. I doubt they'll ever stand on the side of the Germans again, after the last 2 times. Nowadays they are divided into 3 camps: the ones who think the old commie days were totally cool, the ones who think the old commie days totally sucked ass, and the younger generation who only care about materialism, pop music, partying and getting laid. Hungarians are a lot like Austrians, only less wealthy and much more hоrny. In fact, Budapest is the pоrno capital of the Eastern Hemisphere.
Demographics
Hungary is said to consist of two crunchy outer layers of feckless nerds (physicists, ex-communists, intellectuals, bankers) and hοrny ѕluts (plаybоy bunnies, ѕtrippers, female politicians), with a creamy middle made up of pissed off peasants. Some strands of poo-caked hairs from a monkey's left nut stick to this bittersweet cookie in the form of oláh gypsies.
Language
To native English speakers the Hungarian language looks very weird. While the language uses the familiar Latin/Roman typography, the Hungarian alphabet actually contains 44 letters. Weirdo letters include á, é, í, ó, ö, ő, ü, ű, cs, dz, dzs, gy, ly, ny, sz, ty, zs. If you don't have a Hungarian keyboard or don't know exactly where to put the accents, you can write/type out pretty much anything without accents and it will be readable. So basically the whole 'we have 44 letters in our alphabet' thing is bullshit to confuse foreigners.
Hungarian inventions
ΑMD 65
The ΑMD-65 is a short barreled version of the ΑKM manufactured by Hungary. The ΑMD 65 uses a 7.62mm caliber ammo, it uses the standard 30 round clip and weighs just over 3kg with an empty magazine.
Rubik's Cube
A unique blend of pleasure and frustration, much like the Hungarians themselves, the Rubik's Cube will go down in history as perhaps the greatest Hungarian contribution to mankind. Just admit it, you used to peel off all the stickers and re-arrange them in order.
Dance
Got canned heat in my heels tonight baby!
Hungarians are quite light on their feet (but not light in the loafers). Hungarians will dance uninebriated without any shame. They are also a musical people who enjoy eating fried chicken and watermelon, leaving experts to suspect a distant African connection.
The Hungarian Government
The greatest government on the planet, the Hungarian government is always there for you. They know what is right, and you can just depend on them! Even if you're not a citizen of Hungary or ever visited you should pay some taxes to the Hungarian government, just because they're so cool and deserve it for being super guys. No one ever criticizes them, because they are doing a great job all the time.
The Greatness of Hungarians in the Scheme of the Universe
Indisputable.
Hungarians' Role on Speakeasy
Sarah talks about Hungary and Hungarians all the time, while nobody else really cares. There are about 34 Hungarians on Speakeasy currently.
