Hungarians
From Speakeasy
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| - | [[Image:Debrecen-gal21.jpg|thumb|Plate 1A: a young Hungarian woman initiating the traditional | + | [[Image:Debrecen-gal21.jpg|thumb|Plate 1A: a young Hungarian woman initiating the traditional Eurοpοrn mating ritual]] |
==People== | ==People== | ||
| + | Hungarian people came to Europe from some unknown Eastern locale about 1,000 years ago. They kicked a lot of ass, but eventually were forced to settle down. They lost most of the wars they got dragged into, something which pisses a lot of them off or causes a lot of depression. I doubt they'll ever stand on the side of the Germans again, after the last 2 times. Nowadays they are divided into 3 camps: the ones who think the old commie days were totally cool, the ones who think the old commie days totally sucked ass, and the younger generation who only care about materialism, pop music, partying and getting laid. Hungarians are a lot like Austrians, only less wealthy and much more hοrny. In fact, Budapest is the pοrnο capital of the Eastern Hemisphere. | ||
| - | Hungarian | + | ==Hungarian Culture== |
| - | ==Demographics== | + | ===Demographics=== |
| - | [[Image:Cookie.jpg| | + | [[Image:Cookie.jpg|150px|left|Model of Hungarian demographics]] |
| - | Hungary is said to consist of two crunchy outer layers of feckless nerds (physicists, ex-communists, intellectuals, bankers) and hοrny | + | Hungary is said to consist of two crunchy outer layers of feckless nerds (physicists, ex-communists, intellectuals, bankers) and hοrny ѕlutѕ (plаybоy bunnies, ѕtrippers, female politicians), with a creamy middle made up of pissed off peasants. Over the centuries evil doers in neighboring countries have taken big bites out of the cookie out of jealousy and revenge. But through all the bites and being dunked in milk many times, it remains one of the most unique and creative cookies in Europe. |
| - | + | ===Language=== | |
| - | + | ||
| - | ==Language== | + | |
To native English speakers the Hungarian language looks very weird. While the language uses the familiar Latin/Roman typography, the Hungarian alphabet actually contains 44 letters. Weirdo letters include á, é, í, ó, ö, ő, ü, ű, cs, dz, dzs, gy, ly, ny, sz, ty, zs. If you don't have a Hungarian keyboard or don't know exactly where to put the accents, you can write/type out pretty much anything without accents and it will be readable. So basically the whole 'we have 44 letters in our alphabet' thing is bullshit to confuse foreigners. | To native English speakers the Hungarian language looks very weird. While the language uses the familiar Latin/Roman typography, the Hungarian alphabet actually contains 44 letters. Weirdo letters include á, é, í, ó, ö, ő, ü, ű, cs, dz, dzs, gy, ly, ny, sz, ty, zs. If you don't have a Hungarian keyboard or don't know exactly where to put the accents, you can write/type out pretty much anything without accents and it will be readable. So basically the whole 'we have 44 letters in our alphabet' thing is bullshit to confuse foreigners. | ||
| - | == | + | ===Dance=== |
| + | [[Image:Magyar.jpg|300px|]] | ||
| + | |||
| + | ''Got canned heat in my heels tonight baby!'' | ||
| + | |||
| + | Hungarians are quite light on their feet (but not [[Homoѕеxuals|light in the loafers]]). Hungarians will dance uninebriated without any shame. They are also a musical people who enjoy eating fried chicken and watermelon, leaving experts to suspect a distant [[niggaz|African]] connection. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Here are some examples of Hungarian dancing: | ||
| + | |||
| + | * [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jF-lCt4VGg lakatos "csapho" csaba - dance everywhere] | ||
| + | * [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJh5rf_bgNU Cigány tánc] | ||
| + | * [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vONqHtDCdUU Hungary Prime Minister Ferenc Gyurcsany Jumps (For Your Love)] | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Music=== | ||
| + | |||
| + | Hungarians are known as musicians and composers more than as painters or architects. But like elsewhere in Europe traditional music is fading away under a barrage of Yankee pop tunes and gangsta rap. Here is a small selection of Hungarian music: | ||
| + | |||
| + | * [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TClTPpdHxuI Cziffra plays Liszt's sixth rhapsody] | ||
| + | * [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjzzeMLGaHE Hungarian Violin busker plays Bartók] | ||
| + | * [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NSBS7yZj5c Ogli G High Rollers] | ||
| + | * [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--Vaz9jW054 Speak the Hungarian Rapper] | ||
| + | * [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0td012D3Q8 Gyõzike Show!] | ||
| + | |||
| + | ===Cuisine=== | ||
| + | |||
| + | One thing everyone knows about Hungarians is they make teh awesome foodz. The most well known dish outside of Hungary is ''gulyás'' (actually called ''pörkölt''), which is different from American-style goulash (which is people combining their left-overs into one big, nasty cassarole). Many expect Hungarian food to be very spicy, but spiciness is not characteristic of many national dishes. Paprika is to Hungarians as curry is to Indians. One uniquely Hungarian treat you should try some day is a confection called ''túró rudi'', which is pressed cottage cheese curd dipped in dark chocolate. It sounds weird but it is actually really yummy. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Hungarian creations== | ||
===ΑMD 65=== | ===ΑMD 65=== | ||
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The ΑMD-65 is a short barreled version of the ΑKM manufactured by Hungary. The ΑMD 65 uses a 7.62mm caliber ammo, it uses the standard 30 round clip and weighs just over 3kg with an empty magazine. | The ΑMD-65 is a short barreled version of the ΑKM manufactured by Hungary. The ΑMD 65 uses a 7.62mm caliber ammo, it uses the standard 30 round clip and weighs just over 3kg with an empty magazine. | ||
| - | |||
===Rubik's Cube=== | ===Rubik's Cube=== | ||
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A unique blend of pleasure and frustration, much like the Hungarians themselves, the Rubik's Cube will go down in history as perhaps the greatest Hungarian contribution to mankind. Just admit it, you used to peel off all the stickers and re-arrange them in order. | A unique blend of pleasure and frustration, much like the Hungarians themselves, the Rubik's Cube will go down in history as perhaps the greatest Hungarian contribution to mankind. Just admit it, you used to peel off all the stickers and re-arrange them in order. | ||
| - | + | [[88mmFlaK]] used to finish the Rubik's Cube in under three(3) minutes every time, as a bespectacled young lad, by applying known formulae. | |
| - | + | ===Hungary in the candy industry=== | |
| - | + | Haribo Goldbears are manufactured in Hungary for the U.S. market, as are several models of Pez dispensers. | |
| - | + | ||
| - | + | ||
| - | + | ||
| + | [[Image:Gyurcsany magyarhirlap hu.jpg|thumb|The Hungarian Prime Minister G-Master Frank is throwing gang signs to let you know what's up if you fuсk with his crew, nigga.]] | ||
==The Hungarian Government== | ==The Hungarian Government== | ||
| - | + | ===Summary=== | |
| + | The greatest government on the planet, the Hungarian government is always there for you. They know what is right, and you can just depend on them! Even if you're not a citizen of Hungary or ever visited you should pay some taxes to the Hungarian government, just because they're so cool and deserve it for being super guys. No one ever criticizes them, because they are doing a great job all the time. They also do not lie about anything, which is why the people of Hungary love their government so. | ||
| - | + | ===Special Divisions of the Hungarian Government=== | |
| + | [[Image:Kovi.jpg|100px|left|His Exellency, Kovi]] | ||
| + | ====Ministry of Pr0n==== | ||
| + | This key ministry is headed by Kovács "Kovi" István (Picsáért Polgári Párt). It's objective is to guard the quality of Hungarian pr0n and keep the world aware of the pr0n industry in Hungary. Throws the most popular Christmas and New Year's Eve parties of all the ministries, obviously. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ====Ministry of Sports Nobody Cares About==== | ||
| + | This ministry is formed to promote various sports almost nobody else in the world watches, but that Hungarians really like, such as water polo, handball, Marco Polo, rock-paper-scissors, and drunken donkey racing (a gypsy sport). It is headed by some sleazy crony of the prime minister. | ||
==The Greatness of Hungarians in the Scheme of the Universe== | ==The Greatness of Hungarians in the Scheme of the Universe== | ||
Indisputable. | Indisputable. | ||
| + | |||
| + | [[Image:Chucknorris.jpg|thumb|Plate 2A: Honorary Hungarian, Chuck Norris]] | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Famous Hungarians== | ||
| + | * Chuck Norris | ||
| + | * Ernő Rubik | ||
| + | * Gyõzike | ||
| + | * George Soros | ||
| + | * Tom Lantos | ||
| + | * Báthory Erzsébet | ||
| + | * Gyurcsány Ferenc | ||
| + | * Herzl Tivadar | ||
| + | * Attila the Hun | ||
| + | * 99% of 20th century nuclear physicists | ||
| + | * lots of Hollywood jews | ||
| + | * people with unpronounceable names | ||
| + | * people who are good at chess | ||
| + | * people who drink a lot | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Trivia and quotes== | ||
| + | * First Christian king of Hungary and national hero Szent István chopped off his own uncle's head. | ||
| + | * "Hungarians have cool facial hair." ~ Johnson | ||
| + | * Most Hungarians are named Kovács László or something like that. | ||
| + | * They used to be commies but now they aren't anymore, they moved on to become totalitarian capitalists. | ||
==Hungarians' Role on Speakeasy== | ==Hungarians' Role on Speakeasy== | ||
[[Sarah]] talks about Hungary and Hungarians all the time, while nobody else really cares. There are about <s>3</s>4 Hungarians on Speakeasy currently. | [[Sarah]] talks about Hungary and Hungarians all the time, while nobody else really cares. There are about <s>3</s>4 Hungarians on Speakeasy currently. | ||
Current revision as of 01:44, 27 January 2007
Contents |
People
Hungarian people came to Europe from some unknown Eastern locale about 1,000 years ago. They kicked a lot of ass, but eventually were forced to settle down. They lost most of the wars they got dragged into, something which pisses a lot of them off or causes a lot of depression. I doubt they'll ever stand on the side of the Germans again, after the last 2 times. Nowadays they are divided into 3 camps: the ones who think the old commie days were totally cool, the ones who think the old commie days totally sucked ass, and the younger generation who only care about materialism, pop music, partying and getting laid. Hungarians are a lot like Austrians, only less wealthy and much more hοrny. In fact, Budapest is the pοrnο capital of the Eastern Hemisphere.
Hungarian Culture
Demographics
Hungary is said to consist of two crunchy outer layers of feckless nerds (physicists, ex-communists, intellectuals, bankers) and hοrny ѕlutѕ (plаybоy bunnies, ѕtrippers, female politicians), with a creamy middle made up of pissed off peasants. Over the centuries evil doers in neighboring countries have taken big bites out of the cookie out of jealousy and revenge. But through all the bites and being dunked in milk many times, it remains one of the most unique and creative cookies in Europe.
Language
To native English speakers the Hungarian language looks very weird. While the language uses the familiar Latin/Roman typography, the Hungarian alphabet actually contains 44 letters. Weirdo letters include á, é, í, ó, ö, ő, ü, ű, cs, dz, dzs, gy, ly, ny, sz, ty, zs. If you don't have a Hungarian keyboard or don't know exactly where to put the accents, you can write/type out pretty much anything without accents and it will be readable. So basically the whole 'we have 44 letters in our alphabet' thing is bullshit to confuse foreigners.
Dance
Got canned heat in my heels tonight baby!
Hungarians are quite light on their feet (but not light in the loafers). Hungarians will dance uninebriated without any shame. They are also a musical people who enjoy eating fried chicken and watermelon, leaving experts to suspect a distant African connection.
Here are some examples of Hungarian dancing:
- lakatos "csapho" csaba - dance everywhere
- Cigány tánc
- Hungary Prime Minister Ferenc Gyurcsany Jumps (For Your Love)
Music
Hungarians are known as musicians and composers more than as painters or architects. But like elsewhere in Europe traditional music is fading away under a barrage of Yankee pop tunes and gangsta rap. Here is a small selection of Hungarian music:
- Cziffra plays Liszt's sixth rhapsody
- Hungarian Violin busker plays Bartók
- Ogli G High Rollers
- Speak the Hungarian Rapper
- Gyõzike Show!
Cuisine
One thing everyone knows about Hungarians is they make teh awesome foodz. The most well known dish outside of Hungary is gulyás (actually called pörkölt), which is different from American-style goulash (which is people combining their left-overs into one big, nasty cassarole). Many expect Hungarian food to be very spicy, but spiciness is not characteristic of many national dishes. Paprika is to Hungarians as curry is to Indians. One uniquely Hungarian treat you should try some day is a confection called túró rudi, which is pressed cottage cheese curd dipped in dark chocolate. It sounds weird but it is actually really yummy.
Hungarian creations
ΑMD 65
The ΑMD-65 is a short barreled version of the ΑKM manufactured by Hungary. The ΑMD 65 uses a 7.62mm caliber ammo, it uses the standard 30 round clip and weighs just over 3kg with an empty magazine.
Rubik's Cube
A unique blend of pleasure and frustration, much like the Hungarians themselves, the Rubik's Cube will go down in history as perhaps the greatest Hungarian contribution to mankind. Just admit it, you used to peel off all the stickers and re-arrange them in order.
88mmFlaK used to finish the Rubik's Cube in under three(3) minutes every time, as a bespectacled young lad, by applying known formulae.
Hungary in the candy industry
Haribo Goldbears are manufactured in Hungary for the U.S. market, as are several models of Pez dispensers.
The Hungarian Government
Summary
The greatest government on the planet, the Hungarian government is always there for you. They know what is right, and you can just depend on them! Even if you're not a citizen of Hungary or ever visited you should pay some taxes to the Hungarian government, just because they're so cool and deserve it for being super guys. No one ever criticizes them, because they are doing a great job all the time. They also do not lie about anything, which is why the people of Hungary love their government so.
Special Divisions of the Hungarian Government
Ministry of Pr0n
This key ministry is headed by Kovács "Kovi" István (Picsáért Polgári Párt). It's objective is to guard the quality of Hungarian pr0n and keep the world aware of the pr0n industry in Hungary. Throws the most popular Christmas and New Year's Eve parties of all the ministries, obviously.
Ministry of Sports Nobody Cares About
This ministry is formed to promote various sports almost nobody else in the world watches, but that Hungarians really like, such as water polo, handball, Marco Polo, rock-paper-scissors, and drunken donkey racing (a gypsy sport). It is headed by some sleazy crony of the prime minister.
The Greatness of Hungarians in the Scheme of the Universe
Indisputable.
Famous Hungarians
- Chuck Norris
- Ernő Rubik
- Gyõzike
- George Soros
- Tom Lantos
- Báthory Erzsébet
- Gyurcsány Ferenc
- Herzl Tivadar
- Attila the Hun
- 99% of 20th century nuclear physicists
- lots of Hollywood jews
- people with unpronounceable names
- people who are good at chess
- people who drink a lot
Trivia and quotes
- First Christian king of Hungary and national hero Szent István chopped off his own uncle's head.
- "Hungarians have cool facial hair." ~ Johnson
- Most Hungarians are named Kovács László or something like that.
- They used to be commies but now they aren't anymore, they moved on to become totalitarian capitalists.
Hungarians' Role on Speakeasy
Sarah talks about Hungary and Hungarians all the time, while nobody else really cares. There are about 34 Hungarians on Speakeasy currently.
