Jonathan Michaels

From Sotf Wiki

Name: Jonathan Michaels
Gender: Male
Age: 17 (Late Birthday and missed a year of school due to extra curricular)
Grade: 10th
School: Hobbsborough High School
Homeroom: Mrs. Saranna's Homeroom
Hobbies and Interests: Jonathan Michaels is the former featherweight champion of the world. Although boxing takes up a lot of his time Jonathan is embarrassed to say that he also writes a lot of short stories.

Appearance: Jonathan stands at 5’3” and although he is short he has a very muscular frame. His emerald eyes contrast his light brown hair that goes just past his eyes. He is usually seen in a black hoodie, dark blue jeans, and black converse.

Biography: Jonathan Michaels, girls lust after him and young boys wish to emulate his athletic prowess. Born on September 1st, 1988, Jonathan has overcome the odds since he was born. Jonathan was born one and a half months premature and the doctors said that he wouldn’t survive his first year of life. Jonathan was rebellious even at birth, and he survived his first twelve months in near perfect health.

Like most premature babies Jonathan was very small and had trouble keeping up with his five brothers and sisters, when he was seven years old he participated in a boxing class at the YMCA and fell in love with the sport. By the time he was eleven he had won the nationals in the 70-80 lbs division and when he was fourteen he went pro. It was in his eighth grade year that Jonathan stopped going to public schools.

Jonathan struggled his first year of going pro and at the end of his first year he was ranked in the top thirty, and even though he was young he didn’t want to accept that. In his second year of pro boxing Jonathan started with a bang and went undefeated throughout the whole year… on his sixteenth birthday Jonathan was fighting for the Featherweight championship. Jonathan won in a third round knockout against a thirty-year old man.

Celebration ensued and Jonathan ended up going on a binge of cocaine, vodka, and LSD that lasted for three months. At the end of this celebration Jonathan was passed out due to alcohol poisoning (and the fact that he ran into a car that he thought was Jesus). Not knowing what to do his parents enrolled him in NA and sent him back to public schools, whether or not he will be able to defend his title this year is unknown but his parents are quick to say that Jonathan’s health comes first.

Advantages: Jonathans clear cut advantage is that he’s a fighter that trains to beat the crap out of people for a living. Perhaps he can make killing (something that sports star Sidney Crosby had a tough time with last time around) a bit easier by creating a mental illusion that he is just knocking people out (might be tough when he’s bathing in their guts, but he did become accustomed to hallucinations before). He certainly will have a lot of bets riding on him and maybe if he can play the game smartly instead of simply going by the expectation of him being a total jack ass about it, maybe he might survive long enough to be victorious in this game.

Disadvantages: Jonathans main disandvantage is that his skill also brings a large target onto his back and his mental fraility might cause him to remain a loner and thus lose on vital sleep and comfort that comes with groups. Jonathan is also extremely distrustful and is sarcastic and generally inaccessible to most. He’s also physically intimidating (even if he stands at only 5’3”), definitely not a social butterfly.

Number: Male Student no. 14

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Designated Weapon: Saiga-12 Shotgun
Conclusions: Ahhhh, Mr. Michaels is our second resident celebrity that we've had involved in SOTF. Following Sidney Crosby's final placing of fourth will be a rather difficult act to follow, though something tells me that B14 is going to be a lot more than simply a whining, snivelling little puke. In fact, I'm looking quite forward to see what Mr. Michaels has to offer. As one might say - he has the tools, but can he put it together?

The above biography is as written by Slacker. No edits or alterations to the author's original work have been made.