Alan's Wild Ride

From Reydala

Flamm 30, 8292 Yorad, Nuln Federated-Boeing Eagle-C N431CA

The aircraft was stolen from the S.S. Iron Dwarf aircraft carrier and flown to a forest in northern Walstad, where it impacted trees and burst into flames. The thief is currently unknown.

CAM Cockpit area microphone voice or sound source CLR Radio transmission from the S.S. Iron Dwarf clearance controller TWR Radio transmission from the S.S. Iron Dwarf tower controller

-1 Voice identified as the Pilot
-2 Voice identified as the thief
-3 Voice identified as the aircraft mechanical voice
-? Voice unidentified

* Unintelligible word

# Expletive

@ Non-pertinent word

( ) Questionable insertion

[ ] Editorial insertion

Note 1: Times are expressed in military time. Note 2: Generally, only radio transmissions to and from the accident aircraft were transcribed. Note 3: Words shown with excess vowels, letters, or drawn out syllables are a phonetic representation of the words as spoken.

START of RECORDING START of TRANSCRIPT 15:56:18.4 CAM [sound of rustling similar to someone entering the cockpit]

15:56:42.6 CAM-1 last flight of the day. We fuelled up yet?

15:56:48.1 CAM-3 almost, just a few more minutes.

15:56:53.7 CAM-1 got it. I'll go do some prelim checks.

15:56:59.2 CAM [sound of person whistling]

15:57:01.0 CAM [sound of five clicks]

15:57:27.9 CAM [sound of person drumming hands on sides of cockpit]

15:57:31.3 CAM-1 soooooooo... Did you see Mary in the mess hall this morning?

15:57:34.7 CAM-3 you know it. Check out the # on her, am I right?

15:57:39.8 CAM-1 I would split that like firewood, if you know what I mean.

15:57:45.5 CAM [sound of men laughing]

15:57:56.6 CAM-3 looks like you're full. Disconnecting fuel hose.

15:58:02.4 CAM-1 major kalmos requesting air clearance, over.

15:58:03.3 CAM-? *** stop him!

15:58:05.0 CLR airspace clear, you are good to go, over.

15:58:08.9 CAM-1 roger, preparing for take off, over.

15:58:09.1 CAM [sound of fast footsteps]

15:58:09.9 CAM-3 what's that?

15:58:10.5 CAM [sound of punch being thrown]

15:58:11.1 CAM [sound of person hitting ground]

15:58:13.2 CAM-1 what was that?

15:58:14.7 CAM-2 hey there! Can I borrow this?

15:58:16.3 CAM-1 hey, who are you?!

15:58:18.0 CAM-2 yoink!

15:58:18.9 CAM [sound of person hitting ground]

15:58:23.4 CAM-2 so how do I work this thing...

15:58:26.6 TWR what's going on down there? Is everything alright? Do you copy, over.

15:58:31.8 CAM-2 read you loud and clear. I just need to borrow this, and it'd be easiest if I didn't have you talking my ear off. Bye!

15:58:38.2 TWR hello? hello?! damn it, he cut communications!

15:58:40.3 TWR [sound of chair being knocked over, footsteps moving away from console]

15:58:45.9 TWR *** ****** * and there he goes... **** *** does he even know how to fly that plane?

15:58:54.1 TWR-? I have no # idea. We don't have a free pilot to give chase, so the best we can do is track him.

15:59:03.0 TWR [sound of heavy sigh] make it so.

16:37:13.7 CAM-2 Heeeeeeeeeeey, guys. I know we got off to a bad start, but can you help me fly this thing?

16:37:19.1 TWR He's turned his comms back on! Hey, idiot, fat # chance!

16:37:25.3 CAM-2 can you just tell me what this red light means?

16:37:28.8 TWR which red light?

16:37:31.5 CAM-2 theeeeeeeeeeeeee one shaped like a downward arrow. and the one shaped like an exclamation mark.

16:37:38.4 TWR damn it man, pull up! pull up!

16:37:38.7 CAM [sound of crunching metal]

16:37:40.2 CAM-2 whoops, my bad!

16:37:40.7 END OF RECORDING END OF TRANSCRIPT