Avoidant Personality Type
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Sensitive
Definition:
Synonyms:
Analogous:
Character Strengths and Virtues
- Familiarity, comfortability with the familiar, the known, habit, repetition, routine, predictability; family orientation, strong family ties, closeness, home life, family values; within the family and with familiars, warmth, giving, openness, spontaneousness, likability, friendliness, loyalty, kindness, confidence, self-confidence, a sense of humor, and strong opinions.
- Concern, empathy, care, awareness, cautiousness, reserve, reticence; highmindedness, refinement, idealism; reliability, steadiness, effectiveness, thoroughness, concentration, responsibility.
- Circumspection, thoughtfulness, deliberativeness, discretion, ability to concentrate; attentiveness, watchfulness, alertness, vigilance, anticipation, bravery, courage, protectiveness.
- Polite reserve, courtesy, self-restraint, politeness, coolness, well-mannered, conforming, self-effacing, self-discipline, self-control.
- Role-seeking (scripted settings, what is expected, defined role, role-play).
- Privacy, creativity, artistry, imagination, spirituality.
Traits and Behaviors
Familiarity, concern, circumspection, polite reserve, role-orientation, privacy.
Likes and Dislikes
Likes
acceptance, being close to others, living up to one's intellectual and vocational potential, a sense of mastery from accomplishment, introspection, sensitivity, hyperawareness of feelings, low expectations, remaining on the fringes of groups, rejection,
Dislikes
being hurt, being unsuccessful, getting involved, being socially inept, being incompetent in academic and work situations, being criticized, being demeaned, being found uninteresting, being worthless, being unlovable, unpleasant feelings, doing new things, unpleasant situations, unpleasant thoughts, being evaluated, being discovered to be a "fraud", being put down, attracting attention, new responsibilities at work, seeking advancement, failure, reprisals
Beliefs
(Beck, Freeman & associates, 1990, pg. 361, modified)
I am responsible for myself and others. If I don't do it, it won't get done. Others lack self-discipline. I must always try to do a perfect job. I need order, systems, and rules. Without systems, things fall apart. Any flaw in performance may lead to catastrophe. I need to stick to the highest standards at all times. I need to control my emotions. Things usually go better if other people do them my way. I will probably fail if I don't perform at the highest level. I can't tolerate mistakes. Details are very important. My way is usually the best way.
Emotions
Key domain (achievement orientation). Competence, organization, meticulousness, perfectionism, thoroughness, determination, loyalty, busy, doing. Focus, concentration, meticulousness, effortfulness. "...needs the challenge of working to perfection and thrives on sheer drive toward accomplishment" (Oldham and Morris, pg. 64) Perseverence, details, patience, completed to personal standards, inflexible: can't eliminate steps or skip details.
Relationships
Great mates and good friends (interpersonal control) Intimacy hard Expressing feelings anxiety provoking Other relationship difficulties hard letting others do things their own way need to be "right" and to "win" compromising is difficult Emotionally steady
Parenting
Good Parents (interpersonal control)
Teach strong moral values Instill appreciation hard work ambition Take good care of families Demand competence of members
Good/Bad Matches
Good
Dramatic Adventurous Serious Sensitive Devoted Self-Sacrificing Conscientious
Bad
Self-Confident Aggressive Vigilant
Possible
Leisurely
Self
Identifies with occupation. "Self is work" (Oldham and Morris, pg. 66) Pressure for moral perfection High standard of responsibility Must produce to the best of their abilities in socially and culturally approved ways all the time Must never underproduce Must never have it easy Self-acceptance comes hard
Self-Control
Self-Discipline Essential element of success Based on authority Inner Outer Non-emotional (mental control) Reason Analytical thinking style Self-controlled can't forgive self for lapses fail to measure up to high standards guilt worry
Real World
Rational Focus
World devoid of nuance (Oldham) - narrow interest in technical indicators (Shapiro) Fail to perceive world's subtle emotional greys (Oldham) - restriction of subjective and affective experience (Shapiro) Perceive everything in clearly black and white (Oldham) - dichotomous thinking (Beck) Can be source of fanaticism They and followers are right, everyone else is wrong World consists of two extremes
Work
Great mates and good friends (interpersonal control) Intimacy hard Expressing feelings anxiety provoking Other relationship difficulties hard letting others do things their own way need to be "right" and to "win" compromising is difficult Emotionally steady
Management Style
Hardworking, loyal, respectful of authority, accountable Not Conscientious skills Quick decisions setting priorities delegating responsibility Set high standards for self (perfectionism, "shoulds") Thoroughness: checking details slow to decide Expect (interpesonal control) thoroughness devotion accomplishment May need greater flexibility in standards ability to set priorities respect for differing styles
Careers
Orientation to facts, categories, technical details Science, medicine, research, mathematics, business, accounting, law, engineering, computers, data processing, skilled crafts Technical, organizing side of any endeavor
Self-Improvement
Areas that may need improvement
Relaxation (recreation) Leisure time activities Decision making Time management Worrying (anxiety) "Shoulds" (perfectionism) Dealing with mistakes Expressing feelings
Disorder
Avoidant Personality Disorder
The Disease Perspective
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (American Psychiatric Association, 1994, pp. 664-665) describes Avoidant Personality Disorder as a pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:
avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection;
is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked;
shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed;
is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations;
is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy;
views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others;
is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing.
Desires/ Pleasures
acceptance, being close to others, living up to one's intellectual and vocational potential, a sense of mastery from accomplishment, introspection, sensitivity, hyperawareness of feelings, low expectations, remaining on the fringes of groups.
Fears/ Distresses
(anxiety)
rejection, being hurt, being unsuccessful, getting involved, being socially inept, being incompetent in academic and work situations, being criticized, being demeaned, being found uninteresting, being worthless, being unlovable, unpleasant feelings, doing new things, unpleasant situations, unpleasant thoughts, being evaluated, being discovered to be a "fraud", being put down, attracting attention, new responsibilities at work, seeking advancement, failure, reprisals.
Noteworthy Examples
Jane Austen, Ingmar Bergman, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Emily Dickinson, Joan Didion, Bob Dylan, Janeane Garofalo, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Søren Kierkegaard, D.H. Lawrence, Rollo May, Margaret Mead, Joni Mitchell, Anais Nin, Camille Paglia, Plato, J.D. Salinger, Jerry Seinfeld, William Shakespeare, Kenneth Starr, James Thurber, Edith Wharton, Virginia Woolf.
References
The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (1981, c.1969). William Morris, Ed. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
Aaron T. Beck, Arthur Freeman, and Associates (1990). Cognitive Therapy of Personality Disorders. New York : Guilford Press.
Aaron T. Beck, Arthur Freeman, Denise D. Davis, (2004). Cognitive Therapy of Personality Disorders. 2nd. edition. New York: Guilford.
Merriam-Webster (1984). Webster's New Dictionary of Synonyms: A Dictionary of Discriminated Synonyms with Antonyms and Analogous and Contrasted Words. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster.
John M. Oldham and Lois B. Morris (1995). The New Personality Self-Portrait: Why You Think, Work, Love and Act the Way You Do. New York: Bantam.
David Shapiro (1965). Neurotic Styles. New York: Basic Books.
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