Avoidant Personality Type

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Contents 1 Sensitive 2 Character Strengths and Virtues 3 Traits and Behaviors 4 Likes and Dislikes 4.1 Likes 4.2 Dislikes 5 Beliefs 6 Emotions 7 Relationships 7.1 Parenting 7.2 Good/Bad Matches 8 Self 9 Self-Control 10 Real World 11 Work 11.1 Management Style 11.2 Careers 12 Self-Improvement 13 Disorder 14 Noteworthy Examples 15 References

Sensitive

Definition:

Synonyms:

Analogous:

Character Strengths and Virtues

1. Familiarity, comfortability with the familiar, the known, habit, repetition, routine, predictability; family orientation, strong family ties, closeness, home life, family values; within the family and with familiars, warmth, giving, openness, spontaneousness, likability, friendliness, loyalty, kindness, confidence, self-confidence, a sense of humor, and strong opinions.
2. Concern, empathy, care, awareness, cautiousness, reserve, reticence; highmindedness, refinement, idealism; reliability, steadiness, effectiveness, thoroughness, concentration, responsibility.
3. Circumspection, thoughtfulness, deliberativeness, discretion, ability to concentrate; attentiveness, watchfulness, alertness, vigilance, anticipation, bravery, courage, protectiveness.
4. Polite reserve, courtesy, self-restraint, politeness, coolness, well-mannered, conforming, self-effacing, self-discipline, self-control.
5. Role-seeking (scripted settings, what is expected, defined role, role-play).
6. Privacy, creativity, artistry, imagination, spirituality.

Traits and Behaviors

Familiarity, concern, circumspection, polite reserve, role-orientation, privacy.

Likes and Dislikes

Likes

acceptance, being close to others, living up to one's intellectual and vocational potential, a sense of mastery from accomplishment, introspection, sensitivity, hyperawareness of feelings, low expectations, remaining on the fringes of groups, rejection,

Dislikes

being hurt, being unsuccessful, getting involved, being socially inept, being incompetent in academic and work situations, being criticized, being demeaned, being found uninteresting, being worthless, being unlovable, unpleasant feelings, doing new things, unpleasant situations, unpleasant thoughts, being evaluated, being discovered to be a "fraud", being put down, attracting attention, new responsibilities at work, seeking advancement, failure, reprisals

Beliefs

(Beck, Freeman & associates, 1990, pg. 361, modified)

I am responsible for myself and others. If I don't do it, it won't get done. Others lack self-discipline. I must always try to do a perfect job. I need order, systems, and rules. Without systems, things fall apart. Any flaw in performance may lead to catastrophe. I need to stick to the highest standards at all times. I need to control my emotions. Things usually go better if other people do them my way. I will probably fail if I don't perform at the highest level. I can't tolerate mistakes. Details are very important. My way is usually the best way.

Emotions

Key domain (achievement orientation). Competence, organization, meticulousness, perfectionism, thoroughness, determination, loyalty, busy, doing. Focus, concentration, meticulousness, effortfulness. "...needs the challenge of working to perfection and thrives on sheer drive toward accomplishment" (Oldham and Morris, pg. 64) Perseverence, details, patience, completed to personal standards, inflexible: can't eliminate steps or skip details.

Relationships

Great mates and good friends (interpersonal control) Intimacy hard Expressing feelings anxiety provoking Other relationship difficulties hard letting others do things their own way need to be "right" and to "win" compromising is difficult Emotionally steady

Parenting

Good Parents (interpersonal control)

Teach strong moral values Instill appreciation hard work ambition Take good care of families Demand competence of members

Good/Bad Matches

Good

Dramatic Adventurous Serious Sensitive Devoted Self-Sacrificing Conscientious

Bad

Self-Confident Aggressive Vigilant

Possible

Leisurely

Self

Identifies with occupation. "Self is work" (Oldham and Morris, pg. 66) Pressure for moral perfection High standard of responsibility Must produce to the best of their abilities in socially and culturally approved ways all the time Must never underproduce Must never have it easy Self-acceptance comes hard

Self-Control

Self-Discipline Essential element of success Based on authority Inner Outer Non-emotional (mental control) Reason Analytical thinking style Self-controlled can't forgive self for lapses fail to measure up to high standards guilt worry

Real World

Rational Focus

World devoid of nuance (Oldham) - narrow interest in technical indicators (Shapiro) Fail to perceive world's subtle emotional greys (Oldham) - restriction of subjective and affective experience (Shapiro) Perceive everything in clearly black and white (Oldham) - dichotomous thinking (Beck) Can be source of fanaticism They and followers are right, everyone else is wrong World consists of two extremes

Work

Great mates and good friends (interpersonal control) Intimacy hard Expressing feelings anxiety provoking Other relationship difficulties hard letting others do things their own way need to be "right" and to "win" compromising is difficult Emotionally steady

Management Style

Hardworking, loyal, respectful of authority, accountable Not Conscientious skills Quick decisions setting priorities delegating responsibility Set high standards for self (perfectionism, "shoulds") Thoroughness: checking details slow to decide Expect (interpesonal control) thoroughness devotion accomplishment May need greater flexibility in standards ability to set priorities respect for differing styles

Careers

Orientation to facts, categories, technical details Science, medicine, research, mathematics, business, accounting, law, engineering, computers, data processing, skilled crafts Technical, organizing side of any endeavor

Self-Improvement

Areas that may need improvement

Relaxation (recreation) Leisure time activities Decision making Time management Worrying (anxiety) "Shoulds" (perfectionism) Dealing with mistakes Expressing feelings

Disorder

Avoidant Personality Disorder

Noteworthy Examples

Jane Austen, Ingmar Bergman, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Emily Dickinson, Joan Didion, Bob Dylan, Janeane Garofalo, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Søren Kierkegaard, D.H. Lawrence, Rollo May, Margaret Mead, Joni Mitchell, Anais Nin, Camille Paglia, Plato, J.D. Salinger, Jerry Seinfeld, William Shakespeare, Kenneth Starr, James Thurber, Edith Wharton, Virginia Woolf.

References

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (1981, c.1969). William Morris, Ed. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

Aaron T. Beck, Arthur Freeman, and Associates (1990). Cognitive Therapy of Personality Disorders. New York : Guilford Press.

Aaron T. Beck, Arthur Freeman, Denise D. Davis, (2004). Cognitive Therapy of Personality Disorders. 2nd. edition. New York: Guilford.

Merriam-Webster (1984). Webster's New Dictionary of Synonyms: A Dictionary of Discriminated Synonyms with Antonyms and Analogous and Contrasted Words. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster.

John M. Oldham and Lois B. Morris (1995). The New Personality Self-Portrait: Why You Think, Work, Love and Act the Way You Do. New York: Bantam.

David Shapiro (1965). Neurotic Styles. New York: Basic Books.

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