Chloétta Fourtrees

From Pirate Bitch

Chloétta Fourtrees is the fittest lass in all the lands, bar Rob Paterson, who she is coincidentally married to. She once had a thing for Benjutin Fondré but now states she "hated the baldness", Rob hastily removing his Billy Corgan posters and tattoos.

She is said to be "nonchalent" about the fact she is wife number four out of seven, but added "I get the most lurve."

Mohammed Burton insisted "She is so omg cool!"

She is also deemed "The Best A Man Can Get" by Count Nicholaus Watson, although he may have been referring to the shaver that destroyed Nathan Page's "beard".

She is reported to be the cause of the famous Glastonbury Incident where, during a The Count And His Men concert, Nathan Page threw his bass at Rob Paterson's head, knocking him out cold and then stormed off the stage leaving the remaining members to jam for 27 minutes before Rob came to his senses.

She is befriended by Victoria Streets, who has eyes like streetlamps, but this droll mole comment was deemed Not Funny. Chloétty-baby, however, is as amsuing as Garald S Kirk, even when he has pictures of his uncle to hand.

She was recently won over with this sentimental ode about her fake best friend.

Samuel Bumblebeelicker- (Fat 'cos she eats, or eats 'cos shes fat, or neither 'cos she's stung by motherlicker bees!)

do do doo do dooo

dont speet on my shoe

you ugly neck fiend

you know what i meaned

lets break it down bitch (scraping)

i ain't no fool yeah tart

your hair is no flippin art

il take you done you fat beast

i like you. the. least