User talk:Tsu
From Kokorodatabase
Ah, said my peace/piece/something, but thought I'd add this, now that I think of it-
To basically clarify things, because of either the times I've been on break from the game, or because of my erratic sleeping habits, I've missed a lot. The wiki only explains some stuff, in technicality, and asking someone for details isn't all too helpful for me, either. The dimension split for one is something I'm lost on, as all I can think of is Chrono Cross {FATE tried killing Serge by drowning him, but Kidd intervened by going to the past and saving him, so the timeline was split into two, Home and Another World [and in Another World, basically, is the 'true' dimension, where Serge dies]}. Well, that, and an odd feeling of deja vu, cause I swear I had something like this in one of my games before this came up in Kokoro or at least talked about the idea in general. And, uh...I can't think of anywhere else this concept of a dimension split based on the actions of certain people came from.
The main problem this past month or so is that I have a lot of character-centric plots I want to do, whether on my own RPG board for KC, or with more than one person in an active chat. Thalia's plot is very much something I'm itching to do, as ICly, she's been searching for Lucius for years, and, before it was retconned, she technically didn't start working as a scientist until she was informed of his 'death'. Of course, my characters are either relatively new or don't have all that many connections to already established characters, as they haven't done anything to earn such or actively sought them out. Add to that the fact that Kokoro already has an current plot going on, and there's not much legroom to work in a sideplot. Also throw in the fact that I'm not as active as other members, and the end result generally is that my characters wind up only interacting for a short period of time with whoever's thrown in to interact with them for the meantime or whoever is around and isn't already doing something.
Kokoro is a fun game, yes yes. You guys are awesome, the fact that nobody's formed a lynch mob against me yet is amazing, etc. But as I've said, like, a million times above, I'm so lost and confused, and feeling overall left out of the loop {accidentally or intentionally}. This kinda goes towards the boards, too, even though I get that you guys can only reply to so many threads at a time, and whatnot, and you might feel you're already in enough. I dunno. I just feel really small and insignifigant, even though I know what happens when I try to do otherwise. DD:
I want to say that I just need a break from the chat, that I'd love it {and encourage it} if people would do one on one IM RPs with me {though they'd have to IM me. past experience taught Tsu not to IM people asking to RP with her}. At the same time, part of me is screaming to just finally get out of the game if this problem keeps coming up, that now that I don't have any ties to the plot or any major characters, it's my chance to leave. I'd say something like "VOTE NOW, PLZ", but that's rather ridiculous, given that I think we all know the decision is mine alone.
Anyways, for the meantime, don't send me chat invites. I do kinda want to do one on one RP with people {like, really really want to do it, especially now that I typed up Thalia's bio and rewrote it to fit the plot rewhipe that occured in the game she was in}, so you could IM me at either tehtsuchan or the other sn {mayashroedinger} and I'll see if I want to do it. In terms of talking about Kokoro, ah...well, I don't want to hear why I should stay or leave, really. And, well, if you don't want to play with me, okay then D:
I mean, if you're reading this and are all "omg stop making assumptions" about anything I've said, like about that one thing up thar, uh...well, I'd at least like to not hear about it in angry rant format? Dunno what you guys watch or play that explores the concept of alternate timelines and dimensions, but uh...I was fairly sure last time I checked I was the only one to play Chrono Cross. Chrono Trigger, maybe, but that's about traveling time to ultimately stop an event from occuring.
And, uh...like I said, I'm not doing this for attention or pity, and I'm not doing this because I'm some immature brat who wants to get her way. {I'm the eldest member, anyways O: } It's just that this conflict keeps coming up, and I'm not sure if another break will help or if I need to get out of the game altogether.
To sum it up, with rainbow text, even
EVERYTHING'S REALLY CONFUSING RIGHT NOW, AND I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO STAY OR GO, BUT IM ME PLZ, CAUSE I RLY WANNA RP SOME OF MY CHARACTER PLOTS
--Tsu 04:19, 4 February 2007 (EST)
Okay, since I don't feel comfortable explaining this on AIM, and don't want to incite an argument, here goes-
Whether this is just for another few months like last time, or it's permanent, I'm taking my exit from Kokoro. I get that it's a fun game, that everyone loves it, etc, but right now, it's not for me. In fact, as of late, the game's been bringing out my bad roleplaying habits all over again. I'm completely lost as to what's going on, who so and so is or why this and that is occuring, the wiki is NOT all that informative to me as to filling in those holes, and overall, the game's causing my 'attention h0r' self to show its ugly head again, as the urge to have some character centric plot going on, even a small one, arises. Of course, the attempts with Junri and Thalia are scattershot and not all too well-formed, so I can say at least that it's been foiled in that aspect.
Don't get me wrong- I've learned my lesson. I know that ultimately, whenever I attempt to shove one of my characters into the spotlight, I turn them into giant trainwrecks and screw over their character and personality like whoah. At the same time, because I'm so lost, I keep feeling like trying to get one of my characters out there into the open, to try to get a piece of the action, even though they logically shouldn't have anything to do with whatever's going on.
I don't want pity, nor do I want assumptions that I'm being immature and childish. I just need to be left alone about Kokoro at the moment, until I can sort things out. I'd rather my pages be deleted in the meantime, because obviously they generally only apply to my characters and worlds, and since I'm not around, they don't affect Kokoro. After all, why read about a character that's not even in play, or a game that has no characters visiting? If I come back, I'll recreate them myself. The needed information's saved to Notepad, so I don't need the pages up anymore. And I'm not handing over info, either, so please don't think that you can edit the pages yourself.
So in short- exit, stage left. I'm hitting the road, whether this is just for a bit or for eternity. Please delete my pages, don't bother me, etc. Assume what you want, but don't tell it to me or state it anywhere you'd know I'd find it. I really don't want to start any arguments about my thoughts on things, because I'd like to leave on good terms, if that's even remotely possible anymore after all I've done over the years.
Okay, I love you, buh-bye~!
--Tsu 18:40, 3 February 2007 (EST)
