Hammers
From Egs Mayhem
A third-class lever, consisting of a large mass attached to a stick for maximum torque, acceleration, and bludgeoning damage. Hammers can be delineated by gender. (That of the wielder, not the hammer itself.)
Female Hammers
These are comicly oversized, deal minimal actual damage, and are stored in Hammerspace when not in use. They can be summoned only when someone does something offensive towards the wielder, women at large, or a friend of the wielder who is either female or sufficiently androgynous.
Male Hammers
These come in a range of sizes, though none so large as female hammers, deal considerable actual damage, often to the wielder, and are usually used for more constructive purposes. They are often stored in male Hammerspace, a.k.a. a toolshed, when not in use.