WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
From Create Your Own Story
YOU: This-this is terrible! No inventory space? You've ruined Mass Effect for me! Ruined it!
THE ILLUSIVE MAN (wearily rubbing his cybernetic eyes): Don't tell me you're one of those die-hard RPG crazies who can't have fun with the game because it doesn't have enough NUMBERS in it, Shepard.
YOU: M-Maybe I am, Ok? And it's not just the numbers- the whole thing's just too linear! Linear corridors, linear conversations... I even can't level up until I get to a MISSION COMPLETE screen? What the hell is this, Time Crisis 4?!
THE ILLUSIVE MAN: Calm down, Shepard! Damn! Go roll a few D20's, or whatever it is you people do. The level-up thing isn't so bad. You get to see my silhouetted backside at the end of every mission, so I'm not complaining. And we're just in the linear cinematic bit before the game widens out to its full potential- get past a few more conversations and I think you'll find the game pretty non-linear, even if you go through a lot of corridors.
YOU (sulking): How... how long until the game widens out and get to the good bit?
THE ILLUSIVE MAN: Under a half-hour from the start.
YOU: ...ok, that does it, this can't be an RPG. (Waving your finger wildly) Admit it! This is Gears of War with a dialog system!
THE ILLUSIVE MAN (Standing out of his chair angrily): So what if it is? It works fucking great as Gears of War with a dialog system!
THE ILLUSIVE MAN (Sitting back down, pouring himself another brandy): Anyway, I'm sure we can go argue about this all day on a forum when we're done. Right now, let's just get back to the plot. What were you saying?
You say:
