User talk:Maniac

From Create Your Own Story

Please, let actions happen. Don't begin to start to let actions happen. Use began to to signify ongoing actions, such as it began to rain, or interrupted actions, such as I began to open the door, but then...

Instead of Soon, your balls start feeling full and you begin to spray your seed down her throat and into her stomach. "Thank you very much sir! My husband has a dick like a baby, he's never fucked me this good." she says, how's about Soon, your balls feel full and you spray your seed down her throat and into her stomach. "Thank you very, much sir! My husband has a dick like a baby. He's never fucked me this good," she says.

Yes, also remember to use commas and period properly. You may want to review punctuation with dialogue.--Platypus 15:32, 8 March 2015 (UTC)

Thank you, all advice is appreciated.