User talk:Jordon21

From Create Your Own Story

I know it is not really my business, since it is your story, not mine, but...

I saw your story Now you're a girl!. It seems like...much more can be done with it. The person wakes up, puzzles over the fact that now he is a she, then shrugs and goes out as normal. I mean, I would think the guys in the locker room would realize the person in there was a girl before clothes even came off...

It's just, the story seems rather shallow. You have some concept that could be elaborated on. Physical changes, how the character will react to them, deal with them, what the ramifications are of this person no longer being someone society would recognize as the person they were before...and it leads to "Lets go to school and change in the boys locker room and get raped"... Not saying you cannot lead a story there, after all, I don't think many guys understand how to be vigilant, and how to protect yourself to try to prevent being a victim, or even really understand that this is something us women deal with as a matter of fact. I guess it seems too shallow. Again, I know it is your story, and you can write it however you want, and that I am free to f*** off if I don't like it, but it seems like you could actually create a real story with sex rather than a shallow story aimed at nothing but sex. Just my thoughts... --Dirty Me 05:03, 21 April 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for the input. I am thinking of a way to rewrite parts of it. If you have any advice on how to start it, i guess that be helpful. - Jordon21

Jordan, to talk to another user, it is better to go to their talk page, or they many never see your message. My talk page is at User talk:DirtyMeStoryTime. And sadly, I was born a female, so not sure how to help. Maybe you could find a transgender, or imagine what would happen to you if suddenly you had breasts, a vagina, and a sudden objectification by society as a whole? I just mean it seems like some ideas could be created to make it into a real story. --Dirty Me 04:25, 22 April 2016 (UTC)

Oh, I wanted to mention, I am trying to work on adding new content to The Exhibitionist. So, in the story, you are my master, but, only in that you tell me how to expose myself. You give an option, just add a new one on the main page. When I get the chance, I will create the story of what happens to me when I do that. If you want some ideas, just look through the ones I have completed to see what I write that happens. I am trying to keep them interesting, because it can quickly become "Hey, I am girl with no clothes on riding a bicycle", or something. Sort of boring, so, I am trying to make sure each has something interesting that keeps the story more than "I ride around, my breasts bouncing. Guys notice. They whistle. I keep riding. Eventually I finish riding and get back home." Anyways, it is community driven, meaning I will only add story if others add ideas of how to expose myself. So, it would be great if you wanted to add an interesting option ^.^ --Dirty Me 09:15, 25 April 2016 (UTC)

Jordan, I added your category on the last page you did, but...you need to include before you get a warning. --Dirty Me 12:42, 20 May 2016 (UTC)