Dirty Me/Remember why it is you don't have a choice

From Create Your Own Story

You think back to why it is you are 18, and still stuck doing as your mom and dad tell you, instead of just finding your own place and leaving.

You were 15 when you first started using drugs. You didn't like how you felt when you were drunk, so one night, at a party, you decided to try smoking some marijuana with some friends. That was a nice escape, but didn't really feel right to you.

Over the next couple years, you tried more. LSD. Mushrooms. Ecstasy. Ecstasy was nice, and wild, but not really your thing.

Then, you found powders. Crank. Coke. Meth. That was the spot. The thrill of snorting lines, the tingle and slight burning sensation in your nose. The way the world felt bigger, and better. You were smarter. More focused. It was intense.

It became an addiction. The next rush. The next thrill. You had even prostituted yourself out to get more money for more nose candy.

However, the fateful day came. You were dating the dealer, and helping him out. After meeting with someone, who you would come to see more often, a file was started on you.

The guy was an undercover cop. After a few more deals, ties were cut as the guy vanished. For a while.

One day, you were called to the principles office. You were 17 at the time.

There, in the office, was the buyer. Now you knew who he really was, an undercover officer.

You were arrested at school, marched through the halls in handcuffs. Even trying to hide your face did no good. Everyone knew who you were.

After being brought to the police station, you sat in your jail cell for a week before you were finally released. A year later, you were charged, sentenced to probation.

Still on probation. No freedom. Regular urine tests. Surprise probation officer home inspections.

And, if you violate probation, 30 years in prison.

It was a hard lesson to learn, as you still find yourself wanting to get high. Wanting to go party.

The only good point is, it will soon be over, and you can move on with your life.

Thinking about it, you find yourself drifting off to sleep.

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