Complain about the friendzone

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Revision as of 19:30, 14 May 2015 by MrMe (Talk | contribs)
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You fire off a salvo of self-defense. You scream about how long you've been there for her, and give her a long list of the assholes she's dated instead of you. With contempt, you describe how you've waited, trying to show her what a good man you are, wondering when she might notice that you were perfect for her. You're halfway into the diatribe when you can tell Melanie has had enough. She rolls her eyes, then holds up a hand and asks you to stop.

"I thought you were my friend. I didn't realize you were just like everyone else, just wanting to fuck me."

"No, it's different!" You proclaim.

"No, it isn't. That's what you want, at the core of it. Dress it up how you like, but that's what you want." She wags a finger at you. "I'm sorry that you expected more just because you were nice to me, but that's your fucking problem. Not mine." You try to say something, but she barks at you. "Shut up. Don't say another word. I'm going to get the police."

When she returns with the police, they find the two men still tied, and you hanging in your closet. The note you leave is all about the friendzone and how much you adored Melanie. She's so upset, one of the officers has to literally hold her up.

Not a week later, she's fucking that cop. Hard. Sweaty. Loud. His huge dick waaaaay bigger than yours.


Sucks to be you.

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